Trying for a second baby, I'm so scared!

[sofaqueenie]

DS is 14 months, and DH and I are TTC our second.

I'm so much more nervous this time around, so much so that I might put it on hold because I don't know how I'd cope with two.

We wanted children who are close in age, but how on earth do you cope with a toddler and a newborn? Both sets of grandparents live in France, which only leaves my Dad who has health problems and my brother who isn't interested at all in babies!

Did you find it a struggle or did you just get on with it so to speak?

Its ok! I have a 2 year 4 month old and an 8 week old baby - and it hasn't been anywhere near as hard as I feared it might be. You are so much more confident in what you are doing second time round that it just isn't as all consuming. I still send my toddler to nursery 2 mornings a week, and use that time to do all my really difficult jobs. Can't imagine not being a family of 4 now :)

I'm in the middle of coping with it right now! DD is 2yrs 3 months and DS is 4 weeks old. So far it has been easier than I thought 90% of the time and harder than I thought 10% of the time, if that makes sense!

DD's behaviour has changed since DS arrived. She is more challenging at times, typically when I am feeding DS. And of course there are moments when both of them need you, both are crying and you only have one pair of hands...

You will be more relaxed with a newborn second time around so this will help. Also being ultra organised is key - jamas and nappies laid out in the bathroom ready for bathtime (I do this while both are taking lunchtime nap), meal planning so you and rest of the family have easy, healthy options at hand, and having a routine with your toddler (even if it's just playgroups/park etc) give structure to the week and ensure you get out and about.

We don't have a lot of family around either, and DH is away quite a bit with work, so I understand your anxiety but you will cope, honestly.

It's really ok so far and there are moments when it is really very special indeed. Go for it!

DS1 is 2.5 and DS2 is 4mths old and it's sooooo much easier with the newborn. It's so wonderful to have a child who just sits quietly and stays where he's put!

The birth of the baby did trigger a real stage of terrible 2s with our toddler but he's settling down now and they have such lovely moments. DS2 is fascinated with his big brother and is always laughing and smiling at him and DS1 loves to make him laugh and laugh at all the silly things he does. I feel like life is much busier now and you need to have eyes in the back of your head but you will manage because, well, you have to! I find I'm much more confident with the baby now - I know that leaving him to cry for a few seconds while I sort out his brother isn't the end of the world. I also found it helpful to go for low fuss options - BFing, sling wearing, co-sleeping.

You'll be fine - really! :)

2 years between ds1 & ds2 and then 19 months between ds2 and ds3. No real family help and dh works longs hours. Seriously I found it ok. The shock was 0-1 not 1-2 or 2-3. You'll surprise yourself how much mire confident and relaxed and tolerant u are. U just need to lower your standards IMO