Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Flip

Original poster

Am I too old to try for another baby, & could I cope with 4?

16 replies

leaky · 02/04/2011 21:18

I'm 42 & have decided in the last week i'd like to have another child.I have 3 already but feel like I'm not ready to hang up my hat yet. I have really easy pregnancies & short, painfree labours (really (grin)). My husbands worried about the extra stress & financial implications though.

OP posts:

tallulah · 02/04/2011 21:28

I had my 5th at 43

Newgolddream · 02/04/2011 21:29

Sounds like me lol, I can empathise! Im 40, also have 3 and recently decided to ttc for No4 - wont be the end of the world if it doesnt happen (I have 3 boys aged 18, 8 and 3 as it is). Thought we were finished but strange feelings like yours "Im not past it yet" kind of thing crept in.

I cant even say I had short painfree labours either considering DS3 was an emergecny c section when he got stuck - born with forceps during the c section!

All I can say is that it might never happen (and Ive been ttc since August 2010 with no luck) - but at least Im giving it a shot by timing sex around ov and using no contraception, so even if it doesnt happen I will be able to come to terms with it easier because I will have gave it my best shot - sooner or later it will be too late.

Talk with DH I think and look at the reasons you want another baby - for us I think another baby would just seal our wee family.

Good luck

Original poster

leaky · 02/04/2011 21:47

Ah thanx Newgolddream.I really do need to work on DH thou. We had both thought our family was complete after 2 then I changed my mind! I am very happy with my 3, especially as I had 2 boys & only wanted a 3rd if I could have a girl which my friend told me how to conceive, so now I have her it does feel complete I suppose. But I so love going through the pregnancy & labour & want to experience it all for one last time. Good luck to you too.

OP posts:

cece · 02/04/2011 21:54

I had DC3 at 42. So it is possible. Please think through though that the risks of abnormalities does increase as well as the risk of twins after the age of 40. I had a late miscarriage due to abnormalities at age of 41. Bearing that in mind I would go for it if I were you and see what happens.

goingmadtrying · 03/04/2011 08:18

Good luck ladies if you feel fit and healthy enough and you fully understand any risks then I think it's your choice :).

Oooooh leaky please share your story on how you concieved a girl I have 2 boystrious boys and would love a bundle of pinkness

CheerfulYank · 03/04/2011 08:25

Yes, what's with this conceiving a girl business? I need want to know! :)

Oh, and I say go for it!

mopey · 03/04/2011 20:49

Hi all - I'm 38 and we have decided to try and have No 4, got pg first month and then had a mc last week - so will try again but not sure I will be so lucky with it happening so quickly again. fc though.
I have 2 boys and then got my dd3 - theory is to bd up to 2/3 days before ovulation and then stop - worked for us!

carat · 03/04/2011 20:59

Go for it! Good luck and if you do go ahead and conceive, report back to this thread!

Original poster

leaky · 05/04/2011 13:23

goingmadtrying and CheerfulYank, yes mopey is right, to fall for a girl, you have a much higher chance that way. The theory is that you get rid of the male sperm by BDing a lot leading up to ovulation, then stop at 3/4 days before the egg is released.Male sperm swim faster but don't live as long so when they get there the egg hasn't been released & they die off but the female sperm,who are slower swimmers, can live for upto 72 hrs so by the time they get there the egg has been released & there are no male sperm around. Worked for me & I was amazed as I'd prevoiusly thought you could only get PG if BD on ovulation, which makes sense as to why I got boys before.

What am I like though, I wake up so tired in the morning thinking there is no way I could cope with another baby & trying to convince myself that I will go grey so much quicker & within a few hrs I've changed my mind again! Am on CD33 now so could get my AF any day. Part of me is desperate to be PG when another part of me knows it's gonna be such hard work .Aaaggghh!

OP posts:

verybusyspider · 06/04/2011 09:48

as a word of caution I have 3 boys, tried for a girl for last 2 using the timing you describe so it doesn't work for everyone - definitely decide you want a baby not a particular gender as there are no guarentees, one of the most frustrating things for me is this baby thing, I'm a complete control freak and not being able to plan when they arrive and what gender has been a real test

ILoveGregoryHouse · 06/04/2011 09:59

Just had DD1 after three sons. Was 41 when I had her in November last year. We did use the Shettles method but tbh the month we conceived, it was a bit half hearted and I used O+12 too. We had already decided to abandon Shettles after 6 months of trying an an emc making me realise (painfully) that it was a baby we wanted, no matter boy or girl. When the sonographer said she was a girl, I was astonished. Funny thing is in a way I was sad not to have my fourth boy - I had a name for him and everything as I so expected to have another boy. But I'm over the moon to have her, our happy DC4. She doesn't sleep though .

So, it's bloody hard work with four but this is only because she has bad reflux and doesn't sleep much (although is delightful and happy in every other way) so am knackered. I have a lot of help from my parents and couldn't do it without them. But my other three are 7,6 and nearly 3 so the age combo also is tough. I wouldn't change it though.

Good luck.

Original poster

leaky · 06/04/2011 10:31

Thanx for that ILoveGregoryHouse . My three are DS aged 7.5yrs, DS aged 5yrs & DD aged 22mths. I'd love another girl but really don't mind as long as it's healthy & the other 3 except a new baby to the family, think it will be a big shock to everyone! Always said we wanted 2 then i changed my mind to 3 & now again. Will find out in next day or 2

OP posts:

mumtoo4 · 06/04/2011 16:10

if your health is good and its what you both want then go for it xxx
i'm ttc my 4th also but i'm 31 x

wrighty2010 · 07/04/2011 08:12

Hi everyone! I had my little bundle of joy last year and had just turned 40 (others are 13,9 and 3) I have to say I love her to bits but I have found it harder juggling everything and have been very tired. We even had to get a bigger car so we could all fit in which i never even considered before! The only worry I had was of abnormalities as a result of my age and as I was not considered high risk had to pay for a trans nucal scan myself. However all things considered I am not sure there is any right time to have a baby and as long as you have the time to love and care for them then you won't go far wrong. Good luck whatever you decide xx

flyingspaghettimonster · 10/04/2011 18:41

Are you girl-wanting folks trying other methods? I read that you should soak a tampon in a mix of half water half lime juice and insert for four hours after bonking, to keep your acidity up. The theory being, male sperm don't do well in an acidic environment, female sperm don't mind. Plus, the tampon keeps the love juice in better too :-P Reducing sodium in your diet is meant to help a lot too.

chipmonkey · 10/04/2011 19:50

leaky, sorry but that method, like all other methods, only works 50% of the time! You were just lucky. ( And yes, I have tried it many times and have four boys!) Am pg with dc5 now at 42 and am assuming it will be ds5.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread