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Conception

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Trying!!

4 replies

Velma75 · 18/03/2011 17:27

We have decided to try for baby number 2 but have been getting some negativity from others about it. My DS is 7 months, I am 35 and I feel it is the right time for us. Lots of outside influences keep telling us it is too soon, but my heart says I want to go for it now. What do others feel about this? I know I shall become a wreck until that little test shows up positive!!!!

OP posts:
monstersplatter · 18/03/2011 18:52

I think, go for it. You know what's best for you. We are also trying for number 2. Just bought a house, planning an extension, hyper toddler, 2 large dogs... nobody thinks its the right time for us either. But when you know, you know. Good luck!

sevendwarves · 18/03/2011 19:40

I say go for it, only you know what's best for your family.

My DS has a genetic condition, we're currently ttc number 2. Once I (hopefully) announce I'm pregnant I fully expect to be judged, DH and I have even considered calling it an 'accident' if need be. Tbh I really don't care what anyone thinks though.

Good luck!

spidookly · 18/03/2011 20:02

Personally I would not be keen on a (potential) 16 month age gap.

I also don't think (at 35 :o) that 35 is particularly old to be trying for your second child.

If you were 40 I could see the rush.

I think 8 months is very young to have a knackered pregnant mother who doesn't have the energy to enjoy you fully.

Plus the people I know with age gaps below 21 months always seem permanently stressed and exhausted and like they don't enjoy parenthood that much. It seems to me that waiting just a few more months would make your life a lot easier.

But that's all personal experience, anecdote and preference. You will hear from people on here with 13 month gaps that love it.

I imagine people are being negative because they don't want you to make life too difficult for yourself. Being pregnant with your second when your first is a toddler is KNACKERING. Truly.

But you're going to be doing that sooner or later, because I don't suppose you're going to wait much longer no matter what.

If I were you I would listen to what experience parents have to say about this. But just because you listen doesn't mean to have to agree - so consider things like

are they similar in temperament to you? - so if you are very laid back and they are stressy, their experience is not likely to be yours

are they someone who has their own agenda? - i.e. are they your mother? I know my Mum is sometimes overly concerned with my welfare (as she sees it :o)

do they have any insights to offer, even if their main message isn't something you want to take on board?

Also - block out people who are just being negative but with no actual wisdom to offer.

And finally, if all else fails - don't tell people!

If you present them with a done deal they will have to just act delighted. And in fact, they will be.

Happylander · 18/03/2011 20:24

Go for it. Once it's done it's done. You'll be knackered but then you'll get all the worst bits out the way and it'll all seem fine. We were going to try very soon after having our DS but I had to wait for 12 months due to bad birth. ALL my family and friends think we are nuts for even considering trying for another baby after what happened and so are the Dr's to tbh. It's your family so do what feels best for you. Good luck Grin

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