I am losing the plot & need some hope

[bloomingnora]

I have been lurking around in the background for a few weeks and stealing a bit of support from MNers.
Today I really need some extra help! Have been TTC for 13 months (I know this is not as long as lots of people but it feels like forever to me) and am so exhausted by the rollercoaster of emotion that I just want to give up. DD1 is coming up to 2 and fabulous but I so desperately want another. I am crying my eyes out now - not helped by the fact that I have a crappy cold and the runs.....
GP has just booked me in for blood tests and I feel like this is admitting that there is a real problem. All my friends seem to be pregnant and fall pregnant at the drop of a hat and I am sooooo jealous (but happy for them too). I feel like a complete miserable trout, can't concentrate on anything but counting days til AF. Don't want to crash any of the other TTC threads as you all seem to be so close (it's a bit like being the new girl at school!). I think I just need some kind words.....please?

No advice but just about to start trying (well not literally, hahaha) and dreading the feeling. Keep your chin up, you'll get there, youve done it once!

Thanks. Have somehow managed to convince myself that the first time was just luck and that I have something really wrong with me! Good luck to you

aww, i really feel for you. i found the ladies on the ttc threads absolutely lovely and helpful. i'm sure they'd love to chat to you and that some of them have been ttc over a year too and give you advice. good luck {{hug}}

no advice but i feel the same being trying for 11 months now and am 39 so times running out for me, hope you catch on soon

BN - sure you would be very welcome on the TTC threads - lots of lovely people on there. Don't worry about the blood tests, you are just taking a positive step to rule out certain things and give you peace of mind.
You are bound to feel crap when you are ill and it is really hard when friends get pregnant before you - but wait until you see how happy they are when you do catch and you can share things. Keep reading up on all the right things to do and foods to eats etc. and feel good about the fact you are giving yourself the best possible chance of concieving. Good luck

It does make you feel like you are going mad doesn't it? and then you get people saying things like, "you are doing the right things at the right time aren't you?" or, "you shouldn't stress about it as that stops it happening" (usually from men or spinsters...)

yes not long ago i put a thread on i want to shout from rooftops just wanted to tell sombody how i feel

Message withdrawn

Thanks guys. I am sure that things will look better soon (when I'm not going to the loo every 5 mins!) I'll have a look for that other thread

bloomingnora,

There is hope, i was TTC for a year after a m/c. I understand how hard it is emotionaly.. you have conceived once so you have brill chances of doing it again, there is just a little hold up (thats what my sister used to always say to me)

I know after my mc i found MN and the support i got was great you should try the TTC thread, fab ladies there.

There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Hi Bloomingnora - just wanted to offer a few words of encouragement. Going to the docs is not admitting that there is something wrong, it's showing a willingness to find out whether or not there is something wrong, and then facing up to it if there is.

As some of the others have said, there seems to be an incredible incidence of people falling pregnant just after they have started tests.

As you've fallen pregnant before then the chances are that there isn't anything seriously wrong. I try to think of ttc as a bit like rolling a dice - even if you do everything right each month, there's only about a 1 in 6 chance of falling pregnant. Some women will throw a 6 every time, and others will be rolling 1-5 for many throws before their lucky 6 comes up!

I myself spent over 3 years ttc before conceiving the first time, then lost that baby and went on to spend another 7 months before conceiving again (am due in Feb). Allow yourself a couple of days to wallow when AF arrives, and then try and think positively that this will be your month!

Have you tried cutting out caffeine, alcohol and processed foods? I really believe (as does Zita West) that these make an impact.

Hoping it happens for you soon.

Hi bloomingnora,

Would agree with the previous poster re going to the docs.

Actually your scenario whereby the first child is conceived quite easily but a second child is not unfortunately all that uncommon. Its called secondary subfertility.

With regards to the blood tests two important homrone levels should be looked at. These are luteinising hormone (LH) and follicle stimulation hormone (FSH). If these two are out of balance (especially if LH is higher than FSH) this is one possible indicator of a hormonal imbalance. This can be treated.

You need a diagnosis first and foremost.

BTW your man should be tested as well as yourself to rule out any male factor problems. Subfertility is not always down to the woman alone; the man may equally be subfertile.

I wish you well, let us know what the bloodwork says.

bloomingnora - I know it doesn't make it any better, but it's actually quite positive that your GP is prepared to do tests after only 13 months. My old one (have changed now) wouldn't do them ever if you'd already had one conception, even if that had ended in m/c. At least it sounds like they're prepared to be supportive and help you get treatment if you do turn out to need it.

I had my Ds after 7 years and 10 attempts at IVF! I got pg the first attempt but mc at 9 weeks, it took me 5 years to get pg again. It was my dh who has a low sperm count. But if I can get there so can you. It sounds really corny but don't give up!

Hi BN, just thought I would add some words of encouragement too. I had been trying for 13 months with my DP, I had 21 day bloods, then we had an apt with the infertility dr on 3rd October, DP provided his "Sample" on 4th Oct and on 12th October i got my +ve. It's very early days (am only 6+5 now) but it just goes to show there is always hope.

It is good that your Dr is doing something now and you should def get your man checked out too. It is a horrible rollercoaster to be on, but everyone on here is in the same boat and we all moan, weep and wail together. Positive thinking gets positive results and I am sure yours is just around the corner.

Best wishes for everything

Hi Bloomingnora, I think secondary infertility is more common than people realise. I read somewhere that it is now more common than primary infertility. But everyone assumes if you've conceived once you'll do it again. We conceived dd 4.5 yrs ago on 1st cycle. But, like you, have been ttc no. 2 for 13 months now. I know what you mean when it feels like everyone around you is pregnant. I have 3 "close" friends & during the summer all 3 of them were pregnant. In fact, I don't know any other mums who only have 1 child. We haven't told people we are ttc again, so we get comments all the time like "when are you going to give dd a sibling" etc . I've just had by blood tests done & am seeing the infertility consultant in a month's time. It's good news that your doctor has started tests - it's a step in the right direction. And don't worry about crashing the other TTC threads - we all do it & that's what the site is here for! And I have personally found this website the friendliest out of any others I've posted on

Bloomingnora - echo what everyone else has said. At times I found the ttc rollercoaster too much to bear and I couldn't go near the ttc boards - at other times I really don't know what I'd have done without them.

Not sure if this helps, but I'm posting two threads that outline my own tale. If you are fed up with people saying "It WILL happen" to you and you're sick of all the "I was ttc for 18 years then all of a sudden it happened" stories, then don't click on to the links.

If you want to gather just the teensiest bit of hope from someone who was truely desperate and thought it would never happen, then click away. I know it won't give you exactly what you want, but it might help to know others have been there. HTH and all the very best xxxxxxxxx

about time too

at last!

bloomingnora, we've been TTC no2 for 18 months now (conceived DS first cycle). It's really hard and depending on the time of the month I can feel positive or in the depths of despair. I definitely stay away from the TTC threads because it is extremely dishearting for people to join and then fall pregnant first month.
I've tried everything, acupuncture, giving up drink, clomid etc etc, looks like we're going to go for IUI now.
Hope things look up for you soon. Believe me there are lots of people who know exactly how you feel.

Not sure if this has all been tried but I was trying for quite a while having already had one DS. I was getting desperate and a friend suggested grapefruit juice....a glass a day. I think there is a medical reason why this helps ovulation. Anyway I'm now expecting a baby in the summer and that happened the first month we tried after the juice.

Sorry if this over simplifies things but if you haven't tried it I would because it worked for me and my friend.

Thanks guys - i do feel better now. I am already doing all the good diet things - if only it was so easy to get DH to do same...

Thanks also for the info on blood tests - he's a good GP but didn't explain what they were testing for. I am counting myself lucky that he was prepared to do them so quickly. I'll report back!

PS Moomin, Evie is gorgeous! well done you x