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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

Just starting the process- advice needed?

19 replies

lindseyjane28 · 15/03/2011 12:35

Hi all, after discussing children for the past year myself and my partner have finally decided to to start trying, well I have just come off the pill and we are going to see what happens!! Is it normal to feel nervous but incredibly excited at the same time?? Basically over the past year the blocker to us trying has been my career, I am 28 and am a civil engineer and working in a male dominated industry I was unsure what was the right time to put my career on hold to have a child. So since I have now become fully chartered I thought I would stop now and then if it all goes to plan then I would be able to go back to work. Another thing we don't want to tell anyone we are trying as we don't want any pressure from friends/ relatives. Also we don't know if we have any problems as from some of our friend's experiences they didn't know they had any fertility problems till they started trying. My older sister also recently misscarriaged 7months ago and though she would be happy we were trying I don't want to put her under any more pressure. We are both fit and healthy, I am currently training for a marathon and my OH plays football and squash, we are financially stable and more importantly emotionally ready so I guess we just wait and see what happens!! Is there anything I need to do like visit my GP or anything?? Thanks

OP posts:

Nagoo · 15/03/2011 13:20

I didn't. but do spend a bit of time working out your fertile days. If you don't know what egg white mucus is then you may be spending a lot of (nevertheless enjoyable) wasted time.

St4rfish · 15/03/2011 14:44

Hi LindseyJane - I'm glad there is someone else lurking on here who is new! I am in pretty much the same position as you - have been with my husband for 9 years and have been busy climbing the career ladder. I'm now in a good promoted post and aged 32 decided it can't be put off for forever! I would have been happy to wait but to be honest have been frightened by the number of friends who have experienced problems (eg BF is going through her 3rd round of IVF at the moment).
I came off the pill last year to get it out of my system but we have stopped using any form of contraceptive protection as of this month. My husband would die if he knew I was lurking on here reading about cervical mucus and ovulation dates...I am not sure it is such a good idea - I am already reading about early pregnancy signs and convincing myself that I am feeling them!
I haven't done anything other than start taking a supplement with folic acid in it. I downloaded a free App that has a fertility calendar which allegedly tells you when you are ovulating, but to be honest I don't have time to do things like wee on ovulation sticks, take my temperature and create graphs! There is a lot of info on this site using acronyms I don't understand....we could always stick together and try and work it out!
:)

Original poster

lindseyjane28 · 15/03/2011 16:04

Hi st4fish, thanks for your message. I haven't got time either to create graphs etc! Generally it sounds like we are in the same position, we were like we can't put off forever and have also too been scared by other people's experiences and difficulties. There is a lot of information to take in on here so lets try and work it out together :-)

OP posts:

Becs19 · 15/03/2011 16:35

Hi, I was hoping I could join you. I'm 29 and having just recently got married we have decided to go for it. My sister took over 2 years to gt pregnant with her first so didn't want to leave it. I came off the pill 2 weeks ago and the plan was just to see how it goes. Looking on here it looks like it can get really complicated so it'd be fab to find my way through it with others in a similar situation. x

St4rfish · 15/03/2011 17:50

Hello Becs19! The more the merrier - I haven't got a clue what I'm doing to be honest...Everyone else on here seems very clued up. Will be interesting to see if the blissfully ignorant (i.e. us!) will have more luck than those carefully charting their fertility!

Becs19 · 15/03/2011 18:32

Fingers crossed! The longer I can stay blissfully ignorant the better. I am hoping it stays fun and I can manage not to become too obsessed with it - only time will tell tho.

Original poster

lindseyjane28 · 16/03/2011 09:47

Hi Becs19! Me and my partner are hoping to keep it fun and not charting everything, in some ways thats why we have decided to start now and then we have time on our side if it does take a long time. Then again it is difficult to judge what is a long time, speaking to my friends it is very variable. Lets stick together and support each other xx

OP posts:

Becs19 · 16/03/2011 19:39

Sounds like a plan. I must admit part of me wants it to happen quick so we don't have to go down the road of charting everything (and its dead exciting) but the other part is a little scared about actually getting pregnant! I have 2 sisters and one took about 9 months and the other over 2 years so its anyones guess how long it'll take I spose. I'm a teacher with a few years under my belt so it seemed as good a time as any to get going. We haven't told anyone we're trying so being able to offload on here will be great. Hopefully we'll all be lucky and be pregnant sooner rather than later x

pecka33 · 16/03/2011 20:23

hi ladies, just thought id share my experience, i got pg (pregnant) last july, the month after my wedding, i was 33 and very career focused, hense leaving it a little late, during my 12 week booking appointments, i discovered i was immune to rubella and this could harm the baby if i contracted chickenpox ect whilst i was pg.
anyway i went on to miscarry anyway, regardless of the none immunity to rubella. I highly recommend going for a pre-conception check up with the doctor,nurse first.
Also the book taking charge of your fertilty is fab!!
I fell pregnant without trying the first time, now 6 months on from my mmc (missed miscarriage) im still not pg, and im actively ttc, (trying to conceive) and swi (sahgging with intent) and the book made everything very simple and easy to understand. Also ensure your taking folic acid at leave 3 months pre-conception.
Could of mn terms, af (aunty flow,period)
dh (dear husband, son,daughter,child, sil sis in law ect)
Hope thats helps a little, goodluck x

St4rfish · 17/03/2011 11:26

Thanks for the advice pecka33 - sorry to hear about your mmc. I hadn't really thought about going for a check up as pretty fit and healthy, but it had never crossed my mind to consider things like rubella (is this the one you get jabs for when you're a kid?) Thanks also for the acronyms - its been driving me mad trying to work them out on here!

I can see that this site is really useful but also a bit lethal - I keep looking up early pregnancy symptoms and convincing myself that its me already

Becs19 - I am a teacher as well!

Becs19 · 17/03/2011 18:57

I agree any advice and experiences are very appreciated! I hadn't thought about the rubella vaccination. Don't think I've had it as am too old to have had the MMR. Should maybe make an appointment at the docs.

This site is def lethal as have been doing exactly the same as St4rfish and convincing myself that I have all the symptoms! I have had a dull ache in my lower stomach for the last week and am absolutely shattered. On top of that have been feeling squeamish the last couple of days. Am sure its just adjustment from coming off the pill but keep re-reading the symptoms page!

st4rfish - what age group do you teach? I'm a secondary school biology teacher for my sins. Haha

CaveMum · 17/03/2011 19:01

Hi ladies, you are more than welcome to join the First Time Frolickers thread, which is also here in Conception. It's stuffed full of ladies who are in the same situation and trying to get upduffed for the first time.

Come join the madness!

DreamingOfABump · 17/03/2011 19:22

most peopleof our sort of age (late 20's) had the rubella jab at school and will be immune but some people arent so its worth getting checked via blood test. rubella is german measles which is bad for growing baby and you would have to be extra careful to dodge kids with rashes etc particularly if youre a teacher. wel worh getting it checked id say.
im also jut off the pill but starting ttc in a couple of months. am 28 and very excited to be finally making the jump :D

St4rfish · 17/03/2011 21:01

Thanks Cavemum, will have a look at your thread too.
Becs19 - I'm an AHT in a secondary, teach History & English.
One of my close friends has just texted me to say she's pregnant; my other close friend is having her 3rd IVF cycle and is due back at the clinic tomorrow, so stuck in the middle! I am starting to hope far too earnestly that my period doesn't arrive next week...I feel a bit PMS-ish already but I think this might be mostly imagined!

Original poster

lindseyjane28 · 18/03/2011 11:40

pecka33, so sorry to hear abbout your mmc, my older sister is in exactly the same position as you and now is now actively trying to conceive- I will keep my fingers crossed for both of you. Also thanks cavemum will check out the other thread. I just came off the pill last weekend, and I know I should have waited till i have finished my pack but didn't want to wait another week and I came on yesterday, does this mean I can now starting counting from the first day of period to calculate roughly when I am ovulating?? I just wasn't sure if i was having a real period ( certainly feels like one!) or if its just stimulated from the drop in hormones after coming off the pill, like your 7 day break on the pill. I know I said I am just seeing what happens but can't help planning a little bit!! My other half has also gone into planning mode, he came back from work yesterday with a list of things he thought we needed, including a list of alterations he wanted to make to our flat- any excuse for a bit of DIY. Quite sweet though.

OP posts:

butterpieify · 18/03/2011 11:45

TBH, my first step would be to just carry on as normal - most people don't have any trouble, and I would think that assuming that you need charts and checkups etc might just put too much pressure on.

It will take a while for the pill to leave your system fully, so just go at it, have plenty of dates and cuddles, see where that, just let it happen. If nothing is forthcoming after 6 months to a year, then maybe start charting things, but until then, ban yourself from charts and so on - stress doesn't help.

butterpieify · 18/03/2011 12:00

Also, don't assume it will take ages - I can imagine it is terrible if it does, but just think of all the babies who come from one night stands or broken condoms - it could happen at any point, and so try (I know, easier said than done) to relax. It's all chance - you could be the most fertile couple ever and wait months for things to happen, or you could have problems, but just happen to get caught straight away.

Don't hate me, but I only realised I was pregnant with my second when idly looking up fertility times on here, after a vague conversation about possibly having another, and I realised that my period was, in fact, already late. So she was an accident, but would have come along at some point, if that makes sense :)

mrsden · 18/03/2011 12:04

I agree with butterpirify, take it easy at first and try to enjoy it. Most people on these boards do seem to get pregnant fairly quickly and don't seem to need to do anything special. The only thing you really need to do is to take folic acid and regular SWI. However, do keep an open mind and be prepared that it could take a bit more time and that you might need to consider charting or OPKs etc at some stage especially if you are not sure when in the cycle you ovulate.

We took a very relaxed approach to start with but after several months of disappointment the urge and desperation to get pregnant takes over and I will try anything. I am now on my 9th month and have started charting. Hopefully you will all get your BFP's within a few months, most people do. Good luck!

pecka33 · 18/03/2011 20:40

hi ladies, just to add im 33, aparantly certain people can lose the immuntity to rubella?? I had the mmr jab and had to wait a month b4 trying again, and it didnt affect my health.
Sorry wasnt sure who asked but yes day one is the first day of your first bleed, not spotting.
Also dont listen to people that say that you ovulate day 14 as that doesnt apply to everyone, by charting you can pinpoint when u ovulate, also 14 days back from your af can tell you when you did ovulate.... Alittle late but it helped me, Just incase u didnt know.
Good luck ladies.... Good luck with the rest of your ttc mission ladiesX

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