Oh, this is hard

[daisydotandgertie]

We've been TTC for nearly 3 years with just 4 MCs to show for our efforts and none of them have gone beyond 8 weeks. The most recent was awful and left me with such bad anaemia I was admitted to hospital as an emergency to have it fixed. I have a grapefruit sized fibroid, PCO and am now 42.

My sister in law announced she was pg just 2 weeks after mc no 3 and her beautiful baby girl was born almost to the week I would also have been due.

I thought I had come to terms with it since all of that - that a baby is just not going to happen here. I thought I was OK with it and getting on with life. Until yet another dear friend announced she is pg.

And then I went to the loo and noticed the CB digi test which I'd been saving for when the internet cheapies show something promising has gone out of date. .

This is so, so hard. I never imagined I would have no children.

obvious question but have you been to see a specialist and sought advice?
i really really hope it happens for you. xx

I have no words to make things better. But know that your cry has not gone unheard. I am so sorry for the pain and losses you have experienced.

Please don't give up, daisydotandgertie. It does sound like you may have some egg quality issues. Have you considered using donor eggs?

Oh daisy I feel for you, I really do. I am in a very similar situation: have had two m/c, been trying for nearly three years and have numerous fertility treatments. I had yet another pregnancy announcement last week, and my SIL is due any day with her baby. After my next fertility treatment I will be receiving Heparin and aspirin to help prevent any further m/c. Have you had any interventions yet? It may be something simple to put right. Has anyone said anything about treating your PCOS or fibroid? Don't give up hope just yet. Good luck.

I'm in a similar position- TTC for nearly 4 years with only 2 M/Cs to show for it. The thing is that each of the pregancies take almost a year to happen which is hard work in itself, but then they don't stick. We're at the annoying in-limbo point where we can't get any tests done, because a) we've conceieved within the last 12 months and b) because I've had less than 3 miscarriages. You're so right - it is damn hard! :(

Thank you all. It helps immeasurably to know there are other people in the same boat. It's a bit shit, isn't it?

Most of the time I can cope with it perfectly well. And I honestly thought I was resolved to it until yet another friend was brimming with happy news.

I have been to see specialists and there's little that can be done. A combination of my age and the problems make it very unlikely we'll succeed - but both of the consultants I've seen have also said it's not impossible. After my last mc they've talked about removing the fibroid, but that apparently comes with significant risk of emergency hysterectomy because it's a bit bigger than a grapefruit and in the wall of my uterus, which would really put the kibosh on everything and I'm really not sure I could cope with that if it happened.

I really just don't think it's meant to be. I really admire you for staying hopeful and positive. Have you all been given reasons for why it's not working for you either?

daisy have you tried seeing a clinic that specialises in 'harder' cases, like the ARGC in London? It's just that someone I know had been basically told that there was nothing could be done for her by pretty much all the other clinics, and she was successfully treated by the ARGC. I know they don't have a magic wand but my understanding is that their methods are a bit different to lots of other places.

Hi daisy I had surgery with Dr Adrian Lower in London in November 2010 (for uterine adhesions) and know that he specialises in fibroid removals. If you are considering surgery with anyone, please make sure you ask "how many times have you performed this exact operation in the last year?" and "how many of those women that you treated went on to have successful pregnancies afterwards?" Its vital if you are operated on that it is by someone who specialises only in this area and not just a general gynecological surgeon.

I was told by 2 surgeons that my condition was incurable before I went to see Dr Lower. I had one operation with him, 6 weeks of hormone therapy afterwards and then got pregnant on the second cycle after finishing treatment.

I hope you manage to find a way through on this very difficult journey.