Dealing with nosy colleagues

[sparksagainstsky]

I am getting really fed up of questions from colleagues about when / whether / if I am going to start a family. Been TTC for seven months now, getting married later in the summer. I am relatively jurassic in fertility terms (nearly 37, diagnosed low ovarian reserve) and really quite worried now about our chances. Starting tests this month.

Most of my female colleagues don't seem to mind people knowing about their IVF, TTC problems etc. etc. However I really don't feel the same and am just dreading people's nosiness if and when it comes to us having to go through the same thing.

What's the best way of putting people off asking questions ? this may sound a bit nuts but I am even getting fed up of being told about other people's pregnancies (which always seem to carry a little implied question about mine -e.g. colleague tells me yesterday that she has some "gossip" about someone we work with, turns out the gossip is that she is pregnant. Then she asks me if I have any "gossip" - WTF ???

I've only told two very close girlfriends that we are TTC, one of whom is going through the same thing. My other friends know me well enough to know that if I'm not talking about it it's because I don't want to !

Just can't understand why people at work can't mind their own f*cking business

People are so f*** nosey aren't they! I get it a lot here too and the questions are coming from men. I'm suspicious when people ask me at work because I always think it's a good reason to make someone redundant so I definitely don't come clean that we have been trying for nearly a year.

Would be keen to hear other people's answers. When I am asked at work I just say, we don't want kids yet. In response, I have been told not to wait too long in that case.

I have even had my parent's friends neighbours say isn't it time we had kids. I hardly know them, let alone want to chat to them about the fact we are trying our damndest.

It blows my mind that people can be so insensitive/stupid/nosy as to ask this.

It's one of those things you'd already know if it was any of your business.

I've never even heard anyone be asked this, so this may be silly, but how about something like:

"I'm sure you didn't really intend to ask me about my sex life."

And then offer no more.

I have told four close friends and that is it, no family.

I have been asked in the past but I made out that I don't want children. I have three dogs and am a very strict teacher so most people just assume now that I wouldn't suit having a baby and that the only babies I am interested in are puppies.

I spent 4 years TTC - I'm 34.

I never told anybody except for my sisters and my mum and only when I was having procedures and had to.

I felt very strongly about it being private, my business and I didn't want to be 'defined' by it, particularly at work. I got asked a lot about children and always said yep maybe one day, and changed the subject. Nobody ever dared to push it any further than that. I so never gave a shit what they thought after that.

Why don't you just say you haven't decided if you want a family or not yet and that you are looking forward to enjoying life as a married couple first - it is absolutely no one's business, I can't believe how rude some people are.

Posted too soon. Happily I'm now due in 6 weeks, but when I 'announced' at work most people were super shocked because I'd always played it down, never discussed it and eventually I think they just forgot about it.

Anyway.