Confused, please help

[milkyway2007]

Hi everyone - long story short I have a 3 yr old daughter, and have suffered 4 miscarriages since Oct 2009. My last miscarriage was last month.

Last August, after my third mc I left my job and started a part time MSc - I am having my first year exams in May.

I had planned the last baby so it would be born in August and then would be 2 months old by October, so could still carry on with my course, as it's only one day a week. But ofcourse, this didn't happen.

I am now really desperate for a baby. One part of me tells me to ditch the course and try again this month. Another part tells me to wait, and let the course finish and then try.
I know no one can tell me what to do, but could some of you give me some valid reasons for why I should try for a baby this month, or not to try until the course is over. I don't even know if I will carry the baby to term, but the doctors have suggested using aspirin this time. Just need some advice really.

Have you started any investigations for recurrant mc? There's a thread on the miscarriage/pregnancy loss topic that might be able to steer you in the right direction. Hope you're getting lots of support in rl too xx

Oh milky so sorry to hear about your losses. I don't have any answers for you but I think the first thing to ask would be do you feel emotionally ready to ttc again? I would also say that I've come to realise that you sometimes just can't plan these things. I've spent the last couple of years waiting for the 'right time' - got all the travelling I wanted to do done and settled into new promotion. But then after waiting, it now turns out my job is not so secure as I work in the nhs and very soon my organisation will be abolished. I got pg last year and would have been due in July, which was always my dream and would have meant I'd have got back to workin time to try and secure myself a new role amidst the restucture. But unfortunately I mc in dec which left me faced with ttc a dec baby (which I always said I didn't want) and, If I'm lucky enough to fall pg again, will leave me taking my mat leave at the worst possible time at work. But for me, I just know I can't wait any longer, and who knows how long it might take for my to have a successful pregnancy.

Sorry, that ended up being a bit of a me me me reply, but I just thought reading about someone elses experience might help.

If you did get pg, could you not defer your course for a year or even see if you could return mid- term and catch up?

Thanks mousebacon - I am already actually part of that thread - and yes, it has definitely helped me loads in regards to testing and such.

No collie your reply is exactly the type of reply I wanted - your own experience! I feel just like you - it seems I've always tried to plan a baby around my life and it hasn't worked.
Emotionally I am so ready - I didn't even think about deferring for a year!! It's just that I don't ever think about a baby anymore - for me it's just getting to that 12 week mark, and unfortunately I've miscarried before my midwife appointment all 4 times.
Thank You - you have made me feel alot better

Hi milky - I agree with Collie, you could defer. I planned DS and it worked. Then tried to plan the next one and had a MC. Like Collie, if I had a Dec baby it wouldn't be great work wise but I remember when I was pregnant with DS and when he almost was here I just didn't care. All that matters was him. So if you're ready, then go for it - because you will never regret having a baby at the "wrong" time but you might regret holding off for a course and it gets harder if it takes time?

milky again i agree with collie, would you be able to defer, or would you be able to do the work you missed from home maybe?? good luck

I had a baby half way through a part time masters. I just deferred one year, they were absolutely fine about it.

To be honest, unless you were very unlucky with the timing then you will probably be able to manage it anyway. The reason I deferred was that I was also working full time, pregnant and knackered and I started it again when my daughter was 5 months.

Stop worrying about it and go make a baby!

Thanks brettgirl2 - I had planned for an August baby, and would have gone into year 2 in October happily - unfortunately didn't happen. The idea of deferring seems more and more likely now!