Hello carebear and gardenpixie
Very happy to share my experience - not sure i have too many words of wisdom...
DH and I had been TTC just over a year. I was 35 at the time and beginning to panic - for some reason right from the start of TTC I had a bad feeling - suspect this was not helpful - a positive attitude probably can help somehow.
Anyway, tests showed nothing wrong with me and a marginal issue with DH sperm (abnormalities high I think) so we were classified as "unexplained infertility" and recommended ICSI. We were fortunate to be able to go private and we went to Lister in london.
I was incredibly lucky as I had no adverse reactions to drugs, follicles grew nicely and they harvested 11 eggs. 9 embryos were created of which 7 remained by time of transfer. We freaked out as we were hoping to get a call on day of transfer saying to hold off for blastocyst but no call came so we panicked that there were no decent embryos. However when we went in for the transfer there were 2 outstanding ones which were definitely much better than the rest so I had both transferred.
then i had the most stressful week ever at work (bitch boss from hell)
then i had a week's holiday in remote scotland (i'm scottish and love it!)
then i thought my period started on holiday and went onto a big downer
but i only had bleeding for a day (on DD for period, not when implantation bleeding expected)
then one 4 days later when it had not developed i did a test (in the cubicles of the loos in a campsite on a very wet and rainy day). i only did test as i wanted to take a migraine tablet and knew i couldn't take if pregnant. to my utter amazement i got a line! heart-stopping moment. i then had a 50m walk in the pouring rain back to tent to tell DH - i can almost remember it step by step!
anyway, had scan at 7 weeks at lister and showed that it was a singleton (phew, sort of). then another scan at 9 weeks - all well. then in March 2008 I had a wonderful amazing perfect little boy who is now 3.
i was hoping for a second and gearing myself up for another lot of regimented shagging, subsequent month-after-month disappointment, then IVF when we got the news (when DS was 8 months) that DH had rheumatoid arthritis and would have to go on a drug (methotrexate) which we were told we could not get pregnant on under any circumstances. bugger.
i wanted to go for IVF straightaway before i went back to work, DH, being the optimist wanted to try naturally for 6 months. went back to lister for consultation, got prescription for all drugs and was recommended to stop breatsfeeding.
I was on day 5 of period and about to start pill to regulate but DH pleaded to give it a go naturally. i gave in. i got pregnant first time trying!! I now have a second DS who is now nearly 2.
I feel that I am the most blessed, lucky person in the world. My DH is amazing and my two boys are, in a mum's eyes of course, spectacular. My mum died in an accident 10 years ago and part of me likes to think that she had a helping hand....though i know that sounds crazy.
anyway, that's my story. i think i have really wittered on so sorry.
i would have just loved to have been able to talk through my feelings like this at the time. We did tell close friends/family but no-one understands and sometimes i don't think there is a great deal of sympathy for infertility - people just do not understand the pain of a month after month of BFN. I am not a hugely open person (though I'm getting better) but online, where you are somewhat anonymous (though from the details i've posted above i could be outed perhaps?) it is slightly easier.
thank you for letting me share my memories.....