Yes, you're not alone, I find them really hard.
Probably the last thing you want to hear, sorry, but I've had four birthdays since starting ttc at 33. I'm sure you'll do better than me, though. Age is a factor in fertility, but it's not everything. Lots of women, as you said youself, get pregnant in their 30s and 40s.
You don't say in your post how long you've been ttc, but if this is you first birthday since ttc, then it's less than a year. If it is, then really don't worry, lots of completely normal couples take a year or more.
Anyway, my top birthday survival tips. Plan ahead and think about what you'd really like to do. Communicate really clearly with your other half, this is not the time to expect him to just know what you'd want. If you think you're going to find it hard, try and explain that to him. I had one bad year where I told MrC I didn't want a fuss and her took me at my word. Since then I say things like "I don't want a fuss, by which I mean I'd like a card, flowers and special dinner, but not a big thing in the pub with friends"
I know how ridiculous that sounds, but it works for me.
I've also found planning lovely child-free treats works well - a fancy expensive meal with a small group of childless (for various reasons) friends, a weekend away just me and MrC.
But really, the thing to remember is that it's just a day and just a number.
Hope that hasn't depressed you even more, I just didn't want to leave you unanswered.