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Original poster

Supporting a friend through IVF - what to expect

12 replies

MmeLindt · 16/02/2011 21:49

I am going with my friend on Friday as her husband cannot get time off work. She had eggs harvested today, and Friday is D Day.

She doesn't know if she wants me to go in with her, or just accompany her to the appointment.

Anyone been through this and can give me an idea what to expect?

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 16/02/2011 21:58

Hi there,

how amazing. They will hopefully let you go in to theatre if she asks you to. The insertion of the embryos is pretty painless and straightforward. Do you know how many eggs she managed to produce and will they be calling her amd her DH between now and D-day to let them know how many embryos are suitable? She may need some emotional support if they don't have many high graded embryos or if they are hoping to freeze some but can't.

depending on the set up she may be in a room with other women for the recovery time and also before the procedure but there should be curtains for privacy. Let her rest afterwards for as long as she wants. I remember being afraid to leave incase walking made the embryos move to the wrong place.

Original poster
MmeLindt · 16/02/2011 22:01

Thanks, DF.

Two eggs removed today, she gets the results tomorrow.

She is quite worried as she is 41 and thinks she is too old.

Were you able to drive afterwards?

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Onlyaphase · 16/02/2011 22:09

Usually the husband or partner will be in theatre for embryo transfer so I would have thought you would be allowed in if required.

Re driving, for the last 3 lots of IVF I've driven myself to and from hospital for embryo transfer (DH at home, I can't bear extra people hanging around in hospitals if they aren't needed).

Best of luck for your friend, fingers crossed she gets a good phone call tomorrow.

FlipFantasia · 16/02/2011 22:16

What a lovely thing to do. It's a shame that her husband can't get time off but it's lovely that she has a friend she can turn to Smile

Transfer is like a smear - I wasn't in a theatre or anything and it's painless (bar needing a bit of a full bladder) and you're back to normal straight away afterwards (unlike egg collection, where you're groggy from the anaesthetic/sedative). I did do acupuncture before and after ET, as there's some study that show it helps I think (and I was willing to do pretty much anything!).

But it's pretty amazing as you can see the catheter thingy go into the womb and they even gave us a little picture of the embryos and the womb to take home.

I personally found the wait between egg collection and getting the call to see how many eggs had fertilised the most nerve-wracking, so I'll keep my fingers crossed that it's good news for your friend tomorrow.

DuelingFanjo · 16/02/2011 22:56

I was advised not to drive after the egg collection but think it was ok to do so after the embryo transfer. I went straight to have acupuncture which was all a bit strange but I think did help me - I had my baby boy in December :)

Hopefully her embryos will be fine - I will keep my fingers crossed. I was just shy of 40 when I had my IVF and we only had 2 good embryos from 6 eggs. All it takes is one good egg. I hope it works out for her :)

Original poster
MmeLindt · 16/02/2011 22:57

Thanks for the good wishes. Really really hoping it goes well tomorrow.

Her DH is swamped with work and it is an all day thing, first to acupuncture in the morning, then to the clinic, then back to acupuncture.

I am pretty easy going, if she wants me to go in with her I will.

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Original poster
MmeLindt · 17/02/2011 10:21

Bad news, I am afraid.

Appointment tomorrow called off as the eggs did not take.

I am so sad for them.

Any advice? Have said that I will take her out for a boozy lunch tomorrow to distract ourselves (and probably have a good cry together)

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FlipFantasia · 17/02/2011 10:50

Oh how terrible Sad Sad Sad. I was so hoping it would be good news today Sad

No advice, other than I imagine she must be bereft and grieving.

DuelingFanjo · 17/02/2011 11:12

Oh I am so sorry. Was this her first round?

When I had IVF I was put onto a very high dose of menopur, do you know if they have discussed with her the options for increasing the dose?

I found Fertilityfriends forum really good for advice and support, though it's possible she has already found them?
I changed my diet quite a lot during the stimming stage, not sure if that helped the quality of my eggs but it's worth a shot I think?

Maybe encourage her not to give up even if they say she is a poor responder because they may be able to increase the stimulaton drugs?

Original poster
MmeLindt · 17/02/2011 11:16

No, it was her third attempt, I think. She has changed docs. Last one had her on a very high dose of drugs, not sure exactly which ones.

She has read all the advice on diet, eats very healthily and is avoiding aclcohol and sugar etc.

By some strange coincidence, a mutual friend emailed to say that her scan went well and they are expecting a baby boy. Friend doesn't know that she is having treatment this week.

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DuelingFanjo · 17/02/2011 12:44

so sorry to hear this. Do you know if she had decided what to do if the third attempt failed? I wonder if donor eggs are an option.

Original poster
MmeLindt · 17/02/2011 12:57

Not sure, DF. She has an appointment next week to discuss what happens next so will await the doc's opinion.

We have chatted about donor eggs but she is not comfortable with the idea.

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