I feel soooo low....

[Nelli29]

Hi everyone, I usually post in the steparents section but have occasionally posted here aswell. Basically like so many others on this site I have been ttc for a year and a half. I have a 6yr old stepdaughter. I have read some of the other threads and am amazed by how positive everyone seems to be, because I just can't pull myself out of this rut. I have wanted a family for as long as I can remember but have always had a rocky road where relationships are concerned, so I wanted to wait untill I had settled with someone special before starting a family, always asuming it would be straightforward. I met my husband 3 years ago, and we married in sept 04. We have been ttc from April 04 with no success, and I can't help getting so upset about it all the time. I wouldn't say I was stressed about it (not now anyway) but when my cycle is due , I cling on to every tiny bit of hope that this month might be our month and then ofcourse am so bitterly dissapointed. My husband tries his best to understand but it just hits me so hard. I am surrounded by happy loving families which is great, my sister has 5 and 1 yr old, all my friends seem to have 1 or 2 children, my husbands ex has just had a baby and I feel like I am being left behind and punished. I've always tried to live a good life and do the right thing, sure I've had my moments but nothing terrible, but I can't help feeling like this. My husband gets a little annoyed with me sometimes which I completely understand as I know It must be hard to live with me sometimes, he tells me we have alot to be thankful for and I completely agree, but it doesn't stop me wanting and desiring a baby of our own. I just feel so low and alone. We have been referred to a consultant, we've had the primary tests done but have to wait till the new year for the results as the hospital is understaffed, which seems like a lifetime away. I have a great relationship with my stepdaughter but I can't pretend I don't struggle sometimes, when I see how much my husband loves her and vice versa, I want us to be a 'proper' family , all four of us. I'm sorry for moaning on, but I just can't snap out of it. Thanks for listening. Nellie

[CountessDracula]

Oh nellie I know how you feel, it took us 3 years to conceive dd, we had all the tests, there was nothing wrong with either of us. Eventually we made an appt to go and talk about IVF which was 3 months in the future so we gave up trying and I found out I was pg the day before the appointment!

It can be terribly soul destroying I know, especially when everyone around you is having babies.

Could you get the tests done privately? I did this and then transferred to the same consultant on the nhs as there was a long wait.

[Bella23]

Nellie - hey lady I hear you !!
I have been trying since June 04. Now i have had one m/c in the mean time but I can tell you that it doesn't make it any easier.
My advice would be to put things in perspective as I keep repeating to myself that a very small % of people can actually not have children.

I think it helps to try and take charge. Can I ask you how old you are?
Also have you tried temping? If not I would really recommend it as a themometer is only about £2 and it really can tell you whether or not you are ovulating etc.

This is a great sight for support - there has been many a time I have felt desperate and people really do try and help.