Can you ever really afford to have another baby??

[goingmadtrying]

Morning ladies, just was wondering what your thoughts were re affording more children?? Both myself and dh work so we earn the money we have, but do you think it costs more to have another child?? We've been ttc for 2 months but have woken up this morning worrying about it and thinking should I go back on the pill, my heart is telling me I'm desperate for another baby but my head is saying can you really afford it??? We do have a good lifestyle so could easily cut back but it's scary to think about dropping down to mla!!!!!

I think if everyone waited til they thought they could comfortably afford it then hardly anyone would have DCs.

Also, you could go back to work once you go down to smp if that is the main worry.

How many weeks on full pay (if any) are you entitled to?

Money is much tighter with 2 for us, for various reasons, but I think being a bit stretched for money when children are small is pretty par for the course.

We're hoping for no.3

I think waiting until everything's perfect is a risky strategy if you definitely want more.

I agree with Cameron, Once you have one child I don't think it makes much difference if you have another. The only prob is child care but it is amazing what you adapt to financally if you have too. When I concieved # 2 my husband was made redundant and then when I went on Maternity I went from bringing home just over £1000 amonth to £400 with my stat pay but we coped ! I didn't feel we went without and the children wanted for nothing and also with the extra child benefit it helped as well. Stop panicking ! There are people out there that have 6 + kids and they cope, that fact you are worrying about it shows that you are aware thet it is something to think about but you will cope ! Money isn't everything but happiness is, I know in my heart that if I let money get in the way I would be miserable because I wouldn't have had the children I wanted.
Sorry for the rambling but I really know where you are coming from as we had this disscussion before TTC #2 and things changed but we coped ! Just sit back and enjoy your BDing as you never know what the next year will bring and you might even be better off financally ! Good Luck ;-) xxxxxxxx

Argh thanks ladies, we already have 2 and my logic is that when #3 hopefully comes along #2 will be out of nappies and really hoping to bf so that should reduce cost, I have fantastic family who help with our childcare and I only work weekends, just want to ensure I can take 9 months off, I get 100% for 6 weeks and I think 50% up to week 17 where I work have just recently changed the maternity package, I'm sure we would cope just worrying, thank you for all your lovely words xx

See perfect senario ! What you worrying about !

The big costs for us from going from no2 to no3 was third lot of maternity leave and a bigger car, although plenty manage with just juggling narrower car seats. The older two dcs now share a big bedroom as the 4th bedroom is quite small but could be extended at a later date if we don't move 1st. The long term costs come later...holidays, university etc.

But dcs3 is a joy, loved by all.

what's mla?

I hate to play devil's advocate, but I think those who say "there's never a right time" or say "you cope" have never really, really worried about money. Saying that the 4th bedroom could be extended is fine, but many people live say in a one or two bed rented house and their income is perhaps £20-25,000 between them. Buying a bigger car and then tightening belts so that they cut down from a foreign holiday to a UK one, or switching from Sainsbury's/Waitrose to Tesco's isn't really part of the equation for them. There are loads of people in this country who are too "rich" to receive state benefits but are very far from comfortably off, and if you are one of these I think I would think very, very carefully about whether you can afford it. What are you prepared to go without? I think saying "all a child needs is love" is sadly naive. That's what I'm trying to say I think. Certainly, even if we were younger, we don't intend having more than 1 or 2 children because we simply don't have the money.

No offence intended to anyone of course.

Am conscious my post may have read that way, Ariesgirl, but my point, badly made perhaps, is that sometime people think that each child has to have a separate bedroom and they are somehow underprivileged if they have to share! Holidays were rarely within our range before no 3, less so now. The big constraints are houses, the car (our 2nd car was my KA) and whether or not you can afford maternity leave- the biggie. But to think that all the expenditure is front-loaded is wrong...if you want holidays in the future or are thinking ahead to university it's something else to consider. But if you can afford it or are ok about living a pared back life - the OP mentioned being comfortable - without getting yourself into financial misery then a third works ime.

Kangaroo, please, I didn't mean you! I was musing myself about this only this morning, and then suddenly this thread was here.

I am really talking about the people who are working but on very low wages, and they might not have good maternity allowances (if any). I was also reading something on the BBC website this morning about the amount of rented houses in this country which are substandard - many of this demographic will be living in these houses, but will have no access to HB etc. I was more thinking about choosing which rooms to heat when you have another child, because the baby can't get too cold, and that sort of thing. For many people there is nowhere to go - they are already pared back to the max, especially in today's financial climate. I know you know all this already though.

:)

I agree too if we all waited to have enough money then no-one would be having babies at all. I put off having any children until my 30's thinking i want x amount in the bank and a big house etc but i think your never ready whether its baby no1 or baby no 4. I've been ttc for 3 years now and i know as much as i want this baby i'm going to hit panic mode and worry about money when the time comes but this is just natural for everyone. Wish you all the luck whichever decision you make

@ Ariesgirl, wasn't offended at all & after rereading, realised my post might sound a bit glib, when really I had a spreadsheet weighing up the pro and cons of no3!