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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

i want a girl!

25 replies

relish3 · 01/02/2011 23:16

I have three DS and want a girl..i av had 2 ceasarian sections..do i go for IVF OR WHAT DO I DO...

OP posts:

Ariesgirl · 01/02/2011 23:29

You may not get an awful lot of sympathy from many posters here. Children are children, not accessories.

Sorry.

BooBooGlass · 01/02/2011 23:29

I'd say your odds aren't good...

jcp123 · 02/02/2011 09:27

You're odds are pretty much the same with every pregnancy. Conceived naturally there is a slight bias for boys, with IVF there is a slight bias for girls.

There is also some evidence that the timing of intercourse (female sperm live longer but male sperm are better swimmers) may affect sex.

Personally, I think that depending on trying to influence the sex by any method would be wrong. It would be very stressful (especially the IVF route) and you may not get the result you want. So many people are just TTC. You are incredibly lucky having 3 children already. I wish you luck but remember that any new life is a miracle.

sevendwarves · 02/02/2011 09:46

Good luck

Newgolddream · 02/02/2011 09:57

I also have 3 boys and am currently ttc - and I would be grateful for a BABY to complete our family, regardless of sex.

Why do you feel you "want" a girl so badly? And why would you need IVF unless you had fertility problems?

sevendwarves · 02/02/2011 10:12

Yes why did you mention IVF?

If you think you'll be able to have IVF for gender selection purposes I'll tell you now (if you're in the UK) there's zero chance as it's ILLEGAL unless there is a clear medical reason why you should have a girl.

KatyCustard · 02/02/2011 10:14

I can understand why you want a girl...

but honestly there are alot of people on here who would dearly love any baby at all!

Sorry, I know you're just asking a question, but babies will be what they will be, and I think any kind of intervention is a risky path to take. Some people have no choice because of sex-linked genetic illnesses, but it doesn't sound like you are in that heartbreaking situation.

My philosophy is - we get what we're given!

SameOldJollster · 02/02/2011 10:43

ooo, interesting on slight bias for boys naturally and girls IVF... didn't know that. But couldn't care less.

Agree with other posters. If you already have 3DS you'll know how fabulous boys are. If you want another child who cares how their genitalia are arranged... .

Original poster

relish3 · 03/02/2011 10:17

Hello, thanks for all ur comments..just want to give my boys a little sister..don't get me wrong..i adore my DS..they are my pride and joy!

OP posts:

readytobeamum · 03/02/2011 16:09

I feel i should give you an actual answer to your question. As your are getting a lot of stick here!

The Shettles method is something you should look at, it is meant to be 75% effective. It is all to do with the fact that the Y sperm favours different conditions to the X sperm. Have a look, it is an interesting read. People have posted on MN before saying it worked for them.

The main thing for getting a girl is to SWI before ovulation then stop and to not orgasm.

If you are deadly serious about getting a girl, gender selection is illegal in UK but it is possible and you can go abroad and pay for it.

I can understand why you want a girl, esp if you have three sons!

MommyMayhem · 03/02/2011 16:13

If you really want a child of a certain gender, you could travel to the US and have PGD. It would cost you about GBP 15,000.

stewmaker · 03/02/2011 16:17

I think a lot of parents secretly want one sex more than another. But it is unreasonable and those parents know that.
You can't help how you feel though.
I would make sure you find out the sex early on once pregnant and give yourself time to get over it if it's a boy.

Once they're here you won't care......honestly.

DesperateWannabe · 03/02/2011 16:25

Relish I agree with ready i think you have got a lot of stick on here, although i can understand why some people who have been ttc for a long time might be offended.

I have have no dc and recently mc and am now ttc. Not having any, i'd be joyous for either, but i can understand why you might want a girl. I'm not sure i agree with engineering a girl though IVF but i think giving the natural techniques ago wouldn't do any harm.

I don't think anybody else should be making judgements about your preferences or what you would or wouldn't be happy with as they don't know you or your circumstances.

Good luck with TTC if you do!! xx

Original poster

relish3 · 04/02/2011 15:33

DesperateThanks..i really appreciate ur comment...really felt bad reading the other comments...Thanks for putting a smile on my face..once again thanks!

OP posts:

DesperateWannabe · 04/02/2011 18:08

relish you're welcome. Thought you were getting a bit of a bashing so thought i'd add my two-penneth. I suppose it's a sensitive subject for some who have are ttc. Good luck x

deo357 · 05/02/2011 18:41

OMG - talk about shark attack the poor woman. Get off your high horses you lot, cant she have an opinion. Im sure like all of us she would be happy when it arrived, but there is nothing wrong with wanting a girl. I have all boys and would love a girl & am proud to say so. Give people some slack. These websites & not for judging its for talking to people & giving advice. So as Bambi says "if u cant say nothing nice sont say nothing at all"

Changeisagoodthing · 05/02/2011 18:55

You can't have gender selection in the uk unless there is a medical need.

In my dhs family is a very rare genetic condition that affects only boys born through the female line. One child is affected. The other 3women all had a choice of ivf selection to have only girls.

So far non of them have done it and 3 have had children. I understand that it has additional risks attached as part of the process.

This sounds odd but in cows sperm to conceive females is heavier- so taking from the bottom of a flask is more likely to give cows not bulls. Does anyone know if same is true for humans? You could try and self inseminate.

KnittingRocks · 05/02/2011 18:58

I'll stay firmly on my horse thank you - as someone who had to endure IVF to have a baby because I was infertile I think it is utterly appalling to consider just because you want a girl.

Thankfully it's illegal.

Northernlurker · 05/02/2011 19:08

Knitting - the op wasn't asking what your personal moral compass is. She was asking what should she do as she has this preference.

Many women do have that preference and get an apalling amount of stick for it. Personally with dd1 and dd2 I really wanted a girl and with dd3 I didn't mind. I didn't take any steps to 'increase my chances' and I think it's hugely unlikely the op will. She doesn't deserve to be lambasted though for considering IVF. She isn't responsible for anybody's family or fertility or lack but her own. Her decision makes no difference to yours.

KnittingRocks · 05/02/2011 19:19

She was asking whether she should go for IVF and I was saying no . Sorry didn't realise we were only allowed to express an opinion if it was firmly in favour of the OP's.

My mistake.

deo357 · 09/02/2011 19:51

No, she was asking a question about something, not asking for biggoted single sided opinions. We all know what IVF consists of. Its like me saying IVF mucks about with nature and its wrong and if god wanted you to had kids you would.
(and before you start, i dont think that) But, that could be "my" opinion.
So all im saying is give her a break. There are thousands of women who feel the same way as relish3 she is not alone. and im proud to say im one of them. so shoot me.

Ariesgirl · 09/02/2011 19:57

Blimey. This isn't AIBU you know. Feelings run pretty high in Conception as you should probably know.

deo357 · 09/02/2011 20:01

Well im sure they do, but feelings run high for me when 1, someone is made to feel bad and 2, the sex selection thing comes up, a subject close to my heart !

sorry to the innocent friendly people who r caught in the middle

Ariesgirl · 09/02/2011 20:04

Let's leave it shall we?

goingmadtrying · 10/02/2011 07:45

Hi I to would love a little girl just to dress them in beautiful dresses and do their hair in bunches! Sad I know I already have 2 ds and am trying the natural methods but I wouldn't consider going to have any medical treatment to determine the sex, but I do think secretly most women would like a girl, but would be happy with either sex as long as the baby is healthy, good luck to you all ttc and wish you all a happy healthy baby no matter what bits they have :)

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