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Original poster

Scared about labour putting me off getting pregnant. Any advice?

9 replies

spudmush · 17/01/2011 22:06

Hi,
Thanks for looking at my thread :-)
I am so scared of the pain of labour that it has put me off getting pregnant for years. I am 36 and time is ticking and I would love nothing more than to be a mummy.
I have read up on pain relief and even the thought of the needle in my spine for the epidural brings me to tears.
Other ladies seem to get excited about the birth but I am so terrified and Im not even expecting.

Everyone thats had a baby says you forget the pain once the baby arrives but its the thought of it before hand thats causing the problem.
Is there any advice that you could give me to help my situation, I really would appriciate it :-)
With thanks xx

OP posts:
moaningminniewhingesagain · 17/01/2011 22:13

I was terrified too. And when I realised I was in labour I was kind of excited and relieved and terrified all at once.

But - you know it will end. It will hurt, but you will be able to cope with it. And it will not last forever. Plus you get a baby at the end of courseGrin

I mostly worried about not being in control. And I worried myself sick about tearing or becoming incontinentBlush

But I can cough and sneeze til the cows come home - no wees! And TBH, even if I did wee, it wouldn't be the end of the world.

Babies are fab.

MummyAbroad · 18/01/2011 00:35

Yep. Read Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. I was a scardy cat too, I read that book and ended up having a medication free 8 hour labour, baby weighed 9 pounds and I have never been happier with my decision. I loved giving birth so much I want to do it again. Grin

Sproglet · 18/01/2011 10:04

One word....pethidine.....fantastic stuff ! Once you have that you won't give a s*t about anything else and you sleep between contractions so makes the whole process go quickley.You are not aloud anymore if birth is inevitable in the next 1/2 hr but by then you will be ready to push the little sprog out. Also I find when the time comes for birth mother nature kicks in and you feel relaxed and ready for it. I have had 2 children and am TTC #3 and good old pethedine will be top on the list ! Also have to say I agree with the other ladies who said they enjoyed it, it is funny, you feel as if you have run a marathon but when it is all over what an accomplishment!Just do it ! You will be fine otherwise you might just regret it. Had a friend who had a phobia of being sick and put it off and off finally got the guts and went for it and didn't suffer any sickness !!What I am trying to say that you will probably won't find it as bad as you think;-) Good Luck!!!!xx

IslandIsla · 18/01/2011 10:43

I recommend Ina May as well - a wonderfully inspiring book. I ended up with an emergency c/s due to fetal distress but that book was responsible for me feeling very calm and confident during labour, I didn't have any medication until I got into theatre. If you want to be a mother, then labour/birth is such a short time compared with the joy a child will bring you.

HalleLouja · 18/01/2011 10:53

You could try hypnotherapy. It seems to work to help me relax about very stressful things.

HalleLouja · 18/01/2011 10:58

Including a traumatic experience giving birth to a premmie baby. Am thinking of trying hypno-birthing to see if that helps me deal with pain better - though I got through it and remember that the first 3 months of dealing with a newborn are much worse than one day of giving birth. Never thought I would say those words.

OutIntoTheBlue · 18/01/2011 11:08

Hi spud

I don't think you're the only one with these fears. I was terrified, more so when I went overdue and was booked in for an induction. Everyone is different, but my labour and birth with DD was very positive. Yes it hurt. Yes I was tired, and I was little bit scared. But when it came to it, I went with the flow. And I would do it again in a heartbeat. The instant she was born, nothing else mattered. Labour looks, and sounds, much worse than it is.

I did pregnancy yoga and the one thing that kept me calm was the yoga breathing. I concentrated on that, and I am sure that made a huge difference to me personally.

hope that helps

openerofjars · 18/01/2011 11:18

The best advice I ever got was that, yeah, it's not that much fun but it's a day out of your life and at the end of it you get a baby!

Everyone has really different experiences of birth but one of the best things I ever did was go to ante natal classes because it helped me to know about the different stages of labour, the pain relief on offer, what the challenges might be and some pain management strategies I could use.

I did change from being scared of giving birth to bring really tired of being massive and immobile and just wanting to get it over with.

However, if you got pg I would bring your fears up with your mw early on. They might be able to offer extra support or counselling.

Original poster
spudmush · 19/01/2011 18:20

Thank you so much ladies.
I have looked into yoga for when in Labour. Didnt think that it would help byt my friends mum is a yoga instructor and she said it would help.
Will also look into Ina May Gaskin book.
I am so relieved that other people are scared too and its nice to know that theres support from lovely ladies like yourselfs.

Thanks yet again and I will keep you posted. Keeping my fingers crossed now instead of my legs hehe xx

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