TTC is driving me crazy already...name changed

[egyemegafene]

...and it's only been three months.

I'm so fucking fed up of this. Just found out that a friend of ours is pregnant after very short time of trying. She lives very close and we see quite a lot of her and her DP so I can't avoid it. I seem to have turned into a bitter old cow already and I can't pull myself out of it. Driving DP mad. life seems kind of pointless. Job is really quite spectacularly shit too.

before anyone has a go at me for feeling like this so soon into trying, I am 36 years old and found out in April this year that I have low AMH levels so things are not looking good. By now it's probably dropped even further.

I feel like giving up and running away from everything and everyone, including DP as lovely as he is. Dreading next year, and having to be all happy those around me who seems to be able to conceive at the drop of a fucking hat. Cue self-defeating behaviour like drinking whisky and smoking fags. Not big. Not clever.

I really don't like myself for being like this. This probably should have gone on the mental health thread.. And it being bloody christmas makes the whole thing worse.

If anyone has any words of wisdom or comfort (please no platitudes about "relaxing" or "thinking positive") I'd be grateful.

Give up TTC. Forget about it completely.

Just shag, instead. It'll either happen or it won't, and if timing sex for best possiblity of conception is doing your head in, it's not doing you any favours.

Sorry if that comes under "relaxing", btw.

Totally sympathise with you egyemegafene. I'm also totally fed up of the TTC bollocks. Am 35 and been trying for 10 months and am hugely aware that I am, in pregnancy/conception terms, geriatric and feel like time may be running out.
Am peed off with following a stupid PCOS low GI diet (I friggin hate brown bread & rice), of popping pills and of being prodded and poked by doctors and sonographers like some defective heffer. Each month my period comes I feel like it's another fail and now am feeling like there is no point even trying. When it's ovulation time I feel hugely under pressure and end up being grumpy and a total bitch to my fiance. Dosen't help that my fiance's cousin has announced her pregnancy and they have only been married 4 months. Am so jealous - not attractive! Also feel horribly guilty that we have only been trying for a little while and I only have mild PCOS and I have no right to feel like this because there are ladies who have been trying for years.

Sorry have hijacked your thread but your post really struck a chord with me. Have got no advice other than that I feel strangely more in control of this whole process when I am following a sensible "fertility diet" and not drinking caffeine. Mind you I am a control freak and hate the thought that I can't control my body and make it do what I want (ie make a baby) so I would stand in front a mirror chanting the theme to the Teletubbies backwards if I thought that it would help!