Anyone else losing hope?

[Greeneyesbigbottom]

AF is about to arrive yet again and for some reason its really hit me this month. We have been trying for a long time now (24 months not using protection) but about 18 actively trying.

We have appt at the hospital next week to get results of bloods and SA and I am so scared. I can no longer just pretend I'm ok and hope it'll happen next month, as there must be something wrong with me. DH has children from previous relationship so I presume he's ok.

I started fertility investigations with a previous partner about 12 years ago, although long story short, i wasn't really happy and was sort of pressured, but HSG came back clear - then we split up. He went on to have children.

I have a regular cycle, have tried CBFM which showed peaks on the same days every month, so what the hell is going wrong???

I dont want to be given clomid and told to go away and try for 6 months. We have already waited 10 months from initial referral to this appt.

Then there is the issue of NHS funding, which we probably wont get as he has children.

I've tried all the vits, preseed, CBFM, ov kits, reflexology, etc....

Is there a checklist which the Consultant will work down to find out whats wrong???

Sorry to be so depressing, I know its Christmas, but just needed to vent today.

Thanks for reading x

I want to be a mum.

oh love ((hug)) don't know that I can offer any advice just wanted to give you a hug. I've been there, am still there in fact, don't be sorry for venting.

I hope it happens for you soon.

Hi green I read your post and empathised/related and its good that you have here to vent really as there are loads of us having the same problems. I have been trying for 14 months (not as long as you I know and 14 months feels like forever!) nearly and can feel AF around the corner again.... much like you tried every option available (from vits to trying not to care/stress to much etc) and it has taken 6 months to get a referral to the consultant as well (have my first FC appt this Weds).

I don't have much to add other than I totally know how you feel and it doesn't really matter what anyone else says - it still hurts like crazy when month in month there is not even a glimmer of hope. I guess you just need to look at the positives as much as possible ( I know this is a lot easier said than done) and try and be good to yourself throughout the process. The good thing is that you have taken pro-active steps to seek advice - it's better knowing than not and then at least then you can get on the right track.... well this is the way I am seeing it anyway! Its just get really frustrating not knowing after ruling out a handful of things the GP has been able to test.

I really hope the results you get back are positve and that its just a case of letting nature take its course (I just wish it would bloody hurry up sometimes!)

Oh I'm sorry, it's so miserable.

If there is anything, with either of you, that is preventing conception then there are things they can do to help out, correct and influence lots of the possibilities.

It only took us 14 months to conceive (which is nothing really and pretty normal) but I well remember feeling that something must be wrong. Nothing was and like I said, it's not out of the ordinary or remarkable for it sometimes to just take that long but it didn't stop it feeling interminable. It's brilliant that they're looking into it for you. Let's hope there's a resolution to it all.

I wish you lots of luck. Please come back and talk about it. It's strange really to go from being a teen where they warn you that looking at boys is dangerous to the reality of wanting it and pregnancy actually not being that achievable sometimes.

Thank you so much for your kind messages.

AF has arrived today, just as I thought.

I think it has suddenly dawned on me that the possibility of me never getting pregnant is greater.

Hopefully, we'll get some answers next week and IF there is something wrong then we can deal with it.

I know I'm not alone and there are lots of you out there in the same position. It is very hard to deal with and wish you all luck in the world

Will also keep you updated on next steps

Thank you again for your hugs and support.