Am on the 2ww from my 5th ivf. My embryos were put back 9 days ago making them 11 days old. The last 2 cycles I have woke up on this day with streaks of brown blood when i wipe which within 24hrs turned into af.
So fast forward to my 5th and final cycle and its happened again. Woke up today and there it was - I took a hpt and it was negative. Am not supposed to test until Monday but am pretty sure something would show by now if I was pregnant.
I am absolutly devastated, I pretended I was asleep till dh left as I just cant face telling him. I feel such a failure - we have spent every last penny we have in trying to have another child and we both agreed this was the last attempt. I just dont know how to deal with it or tell him I have failed again.
I honestly feel like just giving up - I am a waste of space I cant even hold onto the most precious little embryos that were perfect when they were put into me.
I cant go on picking myself up and listening to "oh well never mind it was not meant to be" pretending I am ok and plastering the smile on after a week as thats whats expected. This has been 7 years of hell with the only one amazing miracle being my son from our 2nd ivf. He is desperate for a brother or sister and I am sat here knowing he is never going to have it. I hate myself I honestly do.
So sorry if this is the wrong place I just needed to say all of this