Will I regret aiming for 3 DCs under 4?

[porcupine11]

I currently have two DSs, 25 months and nearly 7 months. The original plan was to have three with the same (18-20 month) age gap. I can barely believe it, but it's time to start taking my folic acid again to prepare for the third pregnancy!

Found the first 3 months with two really tough, but has really settled down now. Though someone told me 2 gets harder... Would I be mad to have a third when DS2 is 18-20 months and DS1 has just turned three? I have no idea what it's like to have a toddler and a three year old... I'd love to hear how others have found having three DCs under four?

DS1 = 4yrs 4 months
DD = 2yrs 2 months
DS2 = 11 weeks

It is not as bad as I thought and getting easier now. Helps that DS1 is in school and DD still going to nursery a bit. I would imagine it would be harder if DS was at home.

My third was born when my oldest was just 4, so I had a slightly longer gap than you.

It's hard work, and you certainly won't have time for regrets, but it's doable. I've never wished I'd left longer between mine.

That's the thing, DS1 is September birth so won't be at school until he is one month off five - I hadn't really thought about that - gulp

porcupine I have 3. 14 months between the first 2 and 25 months and 1 day between the second and 3rd.
The youngest was 4 in September so he is only at nursery now. It works really and tbh going from 2 to 3 made very little difference. The only thing was I did have a lot more confidence .
In fact looking back it was easier I think because at least the first were occupied while I could see to the youngest.
Yes it's hard work, but having watched some people with only one, that looks harder..
Anyway i can't be that bad because we are currently ttc #4. I'm worried about having too much of any gap!!!!!!

Sorry my typing seems to be all over the place{blush]
that was meant to say
"it works really well"
"too much of an age gap"

I had three under three and it was fine, l love having them all little together, they are such good playmates now.

I think it's in fact easier having them all close, people with bigger gaps to seem to say it's much harder, plus I never had a school/pre school run until I was well into a routine and the youngest was sleeping through the night. I am a sahm though so don't have a job to fit in as well.

I doubt it.

I asked the smae question a few years ago, when I had a DS2 (1) and a DS1(2)

I don't regret DD at all!! in fact im pregnant with number 4!!
have 4 unnder 6!

Just one consideration - have you thought about when they're all at University at the same time? Depends on your finances I guess.

I had DD1 (3yrs 9 months) and DS1 (21 months) when I had DD2. I am a bit sad as i can't remember much about her as a baby. DS1 was still really hard work when she came along but she was really good and easy and just fitted in.
I have 4 now but DS2 was a four year gap after DD2! they are now all teenagers except DS2 who just acts like one!

I think it's a great move. There's 4y2m between my 3. Having said that, the 1st started school the week after the last was born, and that made life HARDER, as we were tied to school drop-offs/pickups, and my baby hated the car (live 8 miles from school). With your ages, even if you do preschool, you're not tied to such fixed times. Should be easier, and by the time the oldest is at school, all 3 are more manageable.

Things I love about small age ranges - they can all play together, enjoy the same games, same days out. Oldest is close enough in age to remember what it was like to be in the classes the littlies are in. Sometimes they're even involved in activities at the same time (but not always).

I do think I have it easier on the whole than my friend with 4yr gaps between her 3 (so 8 years in total). But then there's others who love that!

Also, I'm really glad to have put baby stages behind us and get on with the exciting stages ahead, and I can get my career going again...

I had 3 under 3 and it is very hard work but I love it. I would never want a bigger age gap. The children are great friends and one activity entertains them all. I am pregnant with number 4 so will have 4 under 5. I think it is only possible for us as I am a SAHM. The childcare would be crippling if not. I am also concerned about university fees. I plan to start saving for them as soon as I return to work.

DS1 = 4.2, DS2 = 2.2, DS3 = 7months. It's crazy as we've been living in a 2nd floor flat with no garden and the lifting and shifting has been intense but I have enjoyed it. Sleep is in short supply however as will cash be for a while when I go back to work when DS3 is 12 months. I'll be working for nothing for a few months till DS1 starts school.

I wouldn't change it for the world though and think I'll really benefit from the small gaps when they are a bit older. TBH just one does look like harder work to me. I'm so jealous of some of you having 4 - I would love another one but hubby says he's too tired

thank you so much, was lovely to read all these examples. i realized the other day i've not yet met another mum with three (apart from ones with grown up kids of course, i was one of three) so i felt i was going rather blindly into something i hadn't seen in practice, and want to make sure i don't give ds1 and ds2 a miserable time because i can't cope. but i'm feeling optimistic now!

Hi porcupine,

thought I'd share my story - i don;t have any DC's (YET!!) however I'm the eldest of 4. My mum had 4 under 5yo - Me, Twin Boys, and then my little sister.

She found it really tough at some points but who wouldn't. My sister was an accident as my mum got PG with the coil in, we didn;t have much money when we were little and my parents even toiled with the idea of terminating the PG. I'm glad to say they didn't. Believe me, growing up the fights we all used to have were hurrendous, the majority of the time though we got on like a house on fire.

We are all in our 20's now and closer than ever. My mum and Dad revel in the fact they have a big family - and I'm hoping to add to that very soon.

I wish you the very best of luck xxxx

have them while you can if I were you.
I had 2 very close together, no problem falling preg. managed to talk the DH round to a 3rd eventually, TTC for over a year now.... DD now 5, DS now 4....

go for it
xx