Pre Conception counselling

[SamboM]

My DH and I are going to see a Prof at Chelsea and Westminster next week for Pre conception counselling. This is because I had a very traumatic experience with my first birth (1 week of induction (failed), emergency c-section, post partum haemorrage, 10 litre blood transfusion, 9 hour General Anaesthetic, woke up in intensive care, husband with PTSD etc), so we thought we ought to see someone to talk through whether it might happen again etc.

Has anyone else been to this sort of counselling? I am getting a bit nervous that I will start snivelling pathetically and it will bring back lots of bad memories.

Anyone, or I shall start snivelling NOW!

Oh Sambom, I haven;t been to one but would like to myself after 2 miscarriages, one was a late one, so would appreciate any input from your experience. Sorry to hear it was so bad for you, I don't think you could get much worse than that, so you should not have a repeat. Have you done a search of the web for further info about this. Hopefully someone will be able to offer more info than me! Good luck LOL Q xxxx

Had counselling after traumatic birth - was helpful. Think this sounds like a very good idea.

Sounds like a great idea. Don't worry about crying - that's the point of it. Follow it through until you feel better too. If you don't get on with the first person you see keep going until you and DH feel 'happier'.

I had a horrid time too (though it sounds like a breeze compared to yours!) and I asked my GP about counselling. The first thing he suggested was a MW I hadn't seen before who was really nice and explained why things had happened. I could have followed it up but I felt (temporarily) better.

I still get flashbacks. 13 weeks into the next pregnancy (first born is 13 months so I decided to go for it before I got too freaked about the thought of going through it again) I can still feel faint and tearful thinking about labour or if I get caught up in conversations about childbirth. I'm going to look into hypnotherapy to see if that helps in preparation for number 2.

I hope it works out for you. Let us know how you get on.

Oh Sambo, that sounds incredibly awful. No wonder your DH had PTSD. I hope the counselling goes well - I'm sure you will cry and I don't think that is anything to worry about (he will have boxes of tissues!) but I'm also sure it will be incredibly helpful to go through it all and understand why it happened, if there are, in fact, understandable reasons. Hope the Prof is good and gives you both lots of time. Is he someone you know/have seen before? Steer? If not and you give me the name I can give you chapter and verse on him tomorrow (my mum is a GP in chelsea and knows them all) if that is at all helpful. Best of luck.

Yes PPH it is Steer. Was under him for dd and he was wonderful. I did talk to him afterwards and my dh knows him professionally (he is clin neg defence lawyer) so I think he's the right one to talk to. Thanks Quackers and Gem 13 for your replies.

The only reason I am worried is that I felt that we had dealt with the issues arising from this, however as the time to think of having another baby approaches I think that maybe I didn't. In fact I think I was so worried about dh that I kind of pushed my feelings away and thought that I was lucky to be alive so shouldn't worry too much!

I have started finding myself thinking about that night more and more lately, which does make me think that I am still traumatised. Oh well, we'll see what happens. Maybe I'm just not ready for another one yet!

Hi Sambom, you're probably ready for another baby but not the trauma of what happened to you last time. Nobody should be expected to just get over that and hopefully the pcc will allow you to go through what happened and answer your many questions about why this happened and how to minimise your risk for the next one. I expect you will be very carefully looked after and given your trauma may be offered an elective C section so that there is minimum of stress to you. Good luck and best wishes xxxxxx