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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

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Original poster

OMG could this be the month?

24 replies

Thinking11 · 28/10/2010 18:27

OK I promised myself not to get obsessive this month as the chances of me becoming pregnant are very slim. My 'partner' doesn't think he wants to be a dad but is willing to risk an 'accident' he withdraws everytime but I have noticed that his timing is getting less accurate lately, im desperate to be a mum and have been charting my temp, taking suppliments, stopped drinking, smoking and caffine and have been peeing on OPK and pregnancy sticks nonstop for the past 5 months.

This month we have BD twice during my most fertile time and I have promised not to obsess this month. I am 4 days away from my very regular period and I have just found very light bleeding, I did have sex last night (sorry if too much info) but i have never bled after sex before. Could this be implantation bleeding? I also got a really wierd strong metal taste a few minutes ago but it only lasted about 5 mins.

I dont want to obsess but OMG could this be the month????

I am not going to test until after my AF is due!

OP posts:

saltyair · 28/10/2010 19:54

He 'is willing to risk an accident' and is withdrawing, whilst you are properly getting yourself prepared to get pregnant. That sounds complicated.

Original poster

Thinking11 · 28/10/2010 20:00

It's even more complicated! He's not really a 'partner' he's a long term friend, we've been 'visiting' each other for 7 years whenever we are both single.

He know's I want to be a mum and that i'm currently looking for a donor after my last potential donor backed out at the last minute. We have spoken about him being a donor but doesn't feel ready to be a dad yet and he feels too much for me to watch at a distant as i bring up his baby alone. (but is still ok to risk an accident)

My head is a shed and chatting on here is the only time I can talk about my story and all the details.

Please let this be my month

OP posts:

Ariesgirl · 28/10/2010 20:02

I don't want to sound harsh, but are you sure a baby with this man is a good idea? He doesn't sound at all committed and that's one thing he definitely has to be.

ttalloo · 28/10/2010 20:05

Um, I hope it's your month, if that's what you really want, but it sounds a very odd way to go about conceiving with you making every effort to get pregnant, and him withdrawing every time. If you are pregnant, what kind of role will your 'partner' play in your lives?

saltyair · 28/10/2010 20:07

He either wants to be a dad, or he doesn't. ACCIDENTAL babies require just the same level of parenting.

If he is having sex with you, isn't using reliable contraception aand knows you are taking supplements, charting etc then he is choosing to become a dad.

Original poster

Thinking11 · 28/10/2010 20:07

We have a very complicated past. We are actually repeating his family history. He was a product of an affair his dad had with his mum. He was brought up by his mum and saw lots of his dad. His mum and step mum knew about ech other and it was all ok.

He ha had a happy if unconventional upbringing which he is repeating. We are both hopeless at relationships. He has spoken to a friend in confidence and said he is secretly wanting an accident as then he wont have to make a decision.

I know this is far from ideal but I am going to try donor imsemination but at heart i would prefer my child to know who their father is wether they are in their life or not.

OP posts:

LoopyLoupGarou · 28/10/2010 20:08

I'm really sorry, but surely you can see why this sounds like a very bad plan.

TotorosOcarina · 28/10/2010 20:10

If OP wants a baby and her friend knows this and is sleeping with her unprotected and OP is willing to raise the baby alone then I don't see anything wrong with the situation.

If her friend didn't want a child he can stop shagging her or use protection.

OP are you prepared for him to say hes not interested though?

Original poster

Thinking11 · 28/10/2010 20:11

I someone was telling me my story i would slap them and tell them to stop being so stupid!

I know its mad a crazy but I know it would work. My best friends husband is his best friend and they both know us very well. They know that is sounds crazy but they know it would be the best outcome. I would get my dream and he would beable to carry on the way he always has but he would love having a child

OP posts:

saltyair · 28/10/2010 20:11

He IS making a decision.You must see that?

ttalloo · 28/10/2010 20:13

Donor insemination would be a far less complicated option than this one. At least you know where you stand with a turkey baster.

You and your 'partner' can't even speak to each other openly about what you want, and are going about conceiving a child in the most bizarre fashion. How can you consider bringing a child into the world with someone who isn't even trying to conceive it as hard as you are?

Original poster

Thinking11 · 28/10/2010 20:13

I know and I just hope it works!

OP posts:

ttalloo · 28/10/2010 20:17

But you need a bit more than hope here, OP - you need to communicate with each other and be certain of what you both want. He sounds like a complete flake, and do you really want your child to have a father who might or might not, depending on his whim, want to play an active role in its life?

And if he would love to have a child, why on earth is he withdrawing?

Original poster

Thinking11 · 28/10/2010 20:20

he's scared of commitment, which I am too, hence us 'getting together' on and off for 7 years.

He doens't have a shelf life on becoming a parent but i do!

I know the whole situation is a mess but ive lived it that long its normal to me, a comfortable mess

OP posts:

Ariesgirl · 28/10/2010 20:34

But deciding to have a child is the biggest commitment you could ever make in your entire life surely? I've heard of people who are good friends and deciding it's unlikely that they will meet a person they want to have children with, so deciding to go for it together. But that's it - they decide and go for it. They don't just hope for an accident.

skandi1 · 28/10/2010 22:45

The OP was asking about possible implantation, not advice on whether to have a child or not (clearly decided already).

You asked about implantation bleeding.

I think it could be! I am assuming you're a 28 day girl here and therefore your bleed would have been on or around 10dpo.

Apparently (I read this in various places)
80% of implantation takes place at 10dpo.

Wishing you the very best.

Let us know if you get your BFP

Original poster

Thinking11 · 29/10/2010 01:10

Thankyou skandi, really nice to get back to the first reason I posted. Im a 25 day girl and never been more than 1 day early before. I ovulate around day 15 which would make me 7 dpo.

Sorry but now feel the need for details, I went to the loo earlier and wiped and nothing, then wiped again and found fresh blood. The next few times I went to the loo there was just a very faint pink colour and now nothing.

I really hope im not just obsessing again but i've never had this before. I also had a really strong metal taste but it only lasted a few minutes and ive convinved myself that i had imagined it.

fingers crossed

OP posts:

skandi1 · 29/10/2010 13:53

Sounds quite promising!

Implantation bleed isn't that common but its clearly too early for AF so perhaps thats it.

If this is your implantation bleed, you should be able to get a positive hpt after 48 hours or so.

Let us know when you've tested and whether you get your BFP.

Its certainly getting interesting...

Original poster

Thinking11 · 30/10/2010 00:07

What on earth is happening? I keep thinking AF has started but when I check again there is nothing. It's either really light pink, mucussy and red or nothing at all.

I'm not going to take a test until Monday, I can't face another negative test!

OP posts:

BrownB · 30/10/2010 08:23

Gook luck thinking. Personally, I don't think I could wait until Monday...

Original poster

Thinking11 · 30/10/2010 19:28

It's very hard waiting but every time I test AF always comes along later that day!

I really don't know what is happening but this is not a normal period ive been very very light for 3 days now but im not due until Monday.

Fingers crossed

OP posts:

Original poster

Thinking11 · 31/10/2010 21:51

Not my month, Aunt Flo just decided to fool me into thinking I could have got lucky this month.

Now which direction to go in?

OP posts:

BrownB · 31/10/2010 22:48

Sorry to hear that. Can't help you with directions to be honest.... You'll find a way which will be just fine. [hsmile]

tinky19 · 31/10/2010 23:27

sorry for you. IMO men like to shy away from responsibility but it doesn't always equate to a complete disinterest in being a dad.

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