TTC threads - is it just me?

[sandyfeet]

Am pretty new to the conception bit on MN and will be TTC number 3 next month (am I mad?!). I have read through several of the conception threads but to be honest don't get the point of some of the things on there and am yet to join a thread. Mainly:

1. Baby dust??!! Pardon?

2. Do not understand all the early testing

3. Why is there always an 'am I pregnant' thread active?

Some of the threads make me laugh, but am not keen on barging in on an established thread. Is anyone interested in joining a thread where we can talk about/around TTC without obsessing about it?

Hi suppose the longer you are in the TTC game, the more obsessed you get!

The baby dust thing is just a way people try to wish each other luck and good wishes. It can seem a tiny bit smug e.g. from newly pregnant people to the non-pregnant ones left on the thread, but I don't think any harm is meant

Early testing - people are just desperate to know. I do understand the urge to do an early test, although have never given in myself (yet). Once again I think it's the "longer you've been trying, the more obsessed you get" thing again.

The "am i pregnant?" sometimes it's when someone is at home say in an evening and can't get out to buy a test, or maybe they just want a chat. That's what chat rooms are for after all.

I would agree with Getdown, being at it a long time definitely changes your perspective, and would add that for some of us its not also how long, but what we have been through. I think if you have suffered a miscarriage you will never look at TTC in the same lighthearted way again.

I have been reading these threads for about 7 months now and noticed for every "am I pregnant?" thread there are two or three "I dont want to get obsessed threads" Some of them are very lucky and get pregnant very quickly and with no problems, some of them are here months later, doing lots of early testing and spreading baby dust. Spare some sympathy for us!!

best of luck to you xxx

Agree with MummyAbroad and GetDown

When I first started TTC a year ago I thought I'd be pregnant within 6 months. I told myself I wasn't going to obsess.

A year later I'm obsessing and the GP has just referred DH and me to fertility.

I have no children but would love them. The referral to fertility feels terrifying as you begin to ask yourself "Am I actually able to have the children I so desperately want at all?"

I obsess but use these threads for support. TTC is a bit of a taboo subject in RL. RL can also be very isolating. All my RL have DCs and I am "not part of that club".

Knowing there are other women on the same roller coaster just makes it that little bit easier to deal with the monthly disappointment when AF arrives.

sandy I am 100% behind you on the babydust. That is just weird.

Early testing. I have done. It doesn't make you any more or less pregnant. Fact. Doesn't make it any more addictive!!

There are lots of people who have been TTC for a very long time - you will, no doubt, find you niche.

Sorry everyone...looks like I have been tactless. Really didn't mean to offend anyone, just rather curious tbo.

Will now scuttle off somewhere quiet...

No you've not offended anyone sandyfeet

Come and join us!

How long have you been TTC?

sorry just re-read your original post and see that you will be TTC next month - sorry

Sandy I don't think you've been insensitive, just refreshingly straight up! There's a bit of room for everybody.

Dont worry, no offense taken Sandy - you were bound to get your post answered first by the "obsessives" we are the ones stalking the board all day!! xxx

We have been TTC DC3 for a while if I'm honest, or at least seems a while to me. I know I should expect months-year(s), but can hope it would be shorter!

I do appreciate the RL thing though - TTC is a bit of a tabboo subject and I guess its generally not the thing to talk about until after the 12 week scan or longer. My MIL is known for saying 'my Dr used to tell us we weren't pregnant until we had missed 3 periods', which I always thought a little dated (my MIL?!) and probably a little untrue - can't believe they didn't think they could be pregnant when AF that late?

How about you GetDown - how long have you been TTC?

Actually - I think that in the good (?) old days that was a very sensible thing (if a little 'I am dr therefore I am god') to say.

After all, there were no HPG tests, no early scans. Considering the many pgs that end naturally before 12 wks, it seems quite sensible to me!

However, I am guilty of obsessing from the very day of the BFP (if not before ).

But I've never spread or had sprinkled on me 'babydust'!

Getdown - I know I put TTC next month, guess am in denial same as a lot of people ! I do try hard not to obsess though and con myself into thinking that the reason am not pregnant yet is because we're not actively trying and will actually start TTC next month (always next month...) which makes absolutely no sense now I have written it down!

button - I know it does make sense not to assume that you are pregnant until 12 weeks (arrgh, can't believe am agreeing with MIL!) and guess thats at least partly why no-one talks about it in RL until then. But yes, is lovely secretly knowing you are pregnant...

Must go and help create halloween costumes now ( arty stuff not really my area). At least will be dark so my dodgy art skills won't be obvious!

Good morning Sandyfeet,

I agree with you about some of the TTC threads, but then as time goes on I get more concerned about not getting pregnant so can see myself getting more obsessed about it as time goes on!!! I guess wanting a baby (the first one for me) is such a big important thing that you do start symptom spotting!!!

How did your halloween costumes go? I am trying to make a new dress this weekend, just need to get on with cutting it out and hopefully it'll be done by tomorrow night ready for wearing to work next week :)

It's very true that the longer you TTC the more obsessed you get. Someone told me that when I started the JS thread. It as designed for people who were taking the same approach I was - namely stopping contraception and having lots of sex.... I think when you get any number if women together talking about something they're a bad influence on each other

Good luck!