Million dollar question!

[fedupttcnosuccess]

Ok ladies, the REAL reason we're all hear ( apart from 'a problem shared is a problem halved' ) is to find the secret to achieving pregnancy. Please share what worked for you on your ttc journey. I've personally been tempted to take Agnus Castus, progesterone cream and goodness knows what else. However, as I have a regular 28 day cycle and ovulate without fail around 14/15th cycle day-I've heard herbs can derail your cycle. So, with that in mind let's have some insider tips which led to successful pregnancies...

Congrat NoMoreChocBiscuits Brilliant news :). what you and Miffles said about luteal phase is very interesting, i've never heard about it. so does this not affect the fertilisation? so the pregnancy test would still be positive but then you'd lose the baby?
my luteal phase is abround 12 days, is that considered to be normal?

Nomorechocbiscuits :bless you! I try to remain composed, and I pray that we fall pregnant soon.
Zombie: certainly sounds interesting and something worth considering. So sorry for all the losses you have suffered. Hope that you have an answer soon so that you can be holding your longed for baby very soon.
It is such a heart wrenching journey. I really wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. If I had my chance again, I honestly would have the two children first and then pursue my career: ideal world and dreams seem so hard to attain. Sorry for the melancholy...

Anna yes 12 days is normal. 14 is the average, but it's only when it's 9 days or less that it's a problem.

Fedupttcnosuccess: apologies for delay in reply my friend called and unfortunately didnt have good news regarding her baby so hence my late reply.
I have done reflexology treatments for 4 people who want to conceive, all but one became pregnant, the latter is trying IVF but her husband did not have reflexology with me, in the other cases I gave treatments to both.
I believe the reflexology helps in some way but I am not taking credit for the conception, as I wasn't there!!
Regarding the energy the reflexology does help with that side of it too as well as general well being. Consider it a time out for yourself which you deserve and take the hour to concentrate on yourself. You seem to have your hands full with work and family commitments and would definitely benefit from a treatment. Best wishes!

Thankyou Tweeky. Will definitely look up my local practitioner this evening. Where are you based? Hope it's near me...I'm in Oxford?!?

I'm not sure how helpful this is going to be (I am still in the about-to-ttc phase) but from your posts on this thread it sounds like you might be getting yourself really stressed out and stress can severely lower your odds of conception.

Why don't you and DH go on a short utterly relaxing break together between now and Christmas? After a few days you'll feel able to slow down, take things in your stride and chill.

Hi fedupttcnosuccess!! I am based in Ireland, I didnt realise the website is mainly for Uk, but dont want to leave it as it is soooo helpful.
I would recommend you contact the Beryl Crane school of reflexology which is based in Harlow Essex. If you contact there she can guide you to a reflexologist she may have trained. I went to one of her training weekends on fertility after I qualified as a Reflexologist and she truly is gifted as a practitioner.

Buy Taking Charge of Your Fertility. Really useful book.

Get to know your cycle inside out by temping (use Fertility Friend website to plot your charts.), use OPKs twice a day round ov time to ensure you don't miss the hormone surge and use the Deanna plan. Google it for details if you don't know it - basically do the deed from day 10 every other day until a positive OPK then every day until your temperature drops. Check your cervix too - it is a good secondary sign of when you are fertile and understand your cervical mucus (yes nice...).

HTH - worked for me. Conceived at 42 and 46 years! Within 3 months for first dc and 12 months for second.

Also did acupuncture for first.

Good luck.

Hilly, you are SOOO right. We have 6 weeks off in the new year, hence our target of 'ivf in the new year' approach if everything else fails. Maybe that's where we're going wrong. What we really need to do is look for a Beryl Crane recommended practitioner (courtesy of Tweeky),in a nice quiet idyllic little area, nicely tucked away for long walks and cosy nights in. We could easily do that in the new year and put the ivf on a back burner. (Just the idea of IVF puts the fear of God into me!)
I'll definitely get back to you Tweeky, maybe we could take our idyllic break in Ireland-that's one place we have talked about visiting, but never really got round to putting into practice. If we do we'll hunt you down Tweeky for our sessions with you. We'll see.
Fifitot, I have a TCOYF copy. I have read it from cover to cover now. Also joined Fertility Friend. Charts are picture perfect. Can't do the cervix checking thing just yet...just can't!The Deanna Plan:tried it a couple of cycles ago, but by the time the smiley face showed up he was exhausted and took 2 days off dtd, the 3rd day we attempted was a really feeble attempt. So now,we do it every 2nd day. But I don't start it until cd 12. Not 10. I ovulate cd14/15 religiously. we try to dtd day 12; 14,15 and if we're lucky 16 otherwise it's 17. Sorry it's far too much info!
Thanks for your support ladies, it means more than you will ever know. One more thing:should I take any supplements apart from the folic acid and the multi vitamins? I don't want to unnecessarily mess up my cycle and ovulation days. Thankyou so very much. xxx

Tweeky can i ask about reflexology? How frequently are you meant to go, if you are TTC? I went to see someone and it was lovely and relaxing. But she didn't seem that definite about how often I went. Did it every 3 weeks for a few months, but TBH my cycles were as shot as they ever were (PCOS) and so have stopped now. Should I have perservered? Gone more often? Ta.

Sounds like you might need to work on your cervical mucus (sorry!). You can take Robittussin (cough medicine, you can buy from chemist but it has to be plain Robittussin)which works by thinning any mucus you do have which makes it easier for sperm to swim in. You already mentioned Evening Primrose oil which I take for same reason. Some people drink grapefruit juice to alkalise the secretions. Toni Wechler advocates using real raw eggwhites as a lubricant if this is a problem (I know, sounds gross but might be worth a go) - Pre-seed is meant to be the closest thing to it that you can buy if you can't deal with the egg whites idea.

Do try and get round the cervix issue. It is a helpul sign and also you might be able to get a better handle on what your cervical mucus is doing if you take it from source! When you DO get pregnant (and hopefully you WILL) then you will have to contend with much worse yucky body issues .

Hi Lady: don't be sorry hon. Thanks for the advice. I'll bring the grapefruit in the morning with my shopping. Will try the cough medicine too ( although it is rather gross).we used the preseed last cycle: dh loved it as normally I amvery dry downstairs! You are right, I'll try and get to grips with the cervix soon.
Are these things that worked for you hon?

Well first baby was unplanned so none of the above. Second baby I did the EPO as wasn't seeing much Egg whitage (but still some), fell second month but didn't stick, lost at 7 weeks . And now trying again, second cycle post mc. So just a tad obsessively searching for solutions as really want to be pg again very soon!

Fedupttcnosucess - I really recommend reflexology. We spent 2 years trying to ttc ds and eventually suceeded on clomid second cycle. However then starting trying almost immediately after ds was born for another and after 18 months started using clomid again ( was recommended by fertility consultant) after 6 cycles was on my last allowable cycle using clomid (have PCOS so don't ovulate otherwise) and had reflexology and fell pg with dd. Now they are 6 and 3, I have recommended the reflexologist to a couple of people and one of them now has bfp. She really is fantastic. We too are near Oxford.
It really helped me to relax, I don't think she's practicing any more but friends have been to another one and she is highly recommended.
As to be honest most of them seem to be.

Lady: so sorry about your mc. Hope you get your BFP soon.
Lotofdamnation:thanks for the advice. We are seriously looking at both reflexology and hynotherapy. Acupuncture is being condidered as well. If nothing else, all these things will destress us a litlle. Between work and home, apart from ttc, sleeping and eating there's time for little else!
I really appreciate your advice here girlies. Many thanks xxxx

fedup-I've found the link for the person I was looking for, I've pm'd you. Am sure there are lots and she may be no where near you but its some info to look at.

Thank you very much Lotofdamnation. I'll look her up once I get home, then get back to you. xxxx

OP, when you say you and your partner have had "all the tests under the sun", could you please clarify? I am assuming you have had semen analysis, day 21 progesterone, day 2/3 FSH/LH, and HSG or similar to assess tubes? In any case, that is what we have had, and are currently awaiting IVF (NHS).

The reason I ask is that I have been obsessing over [[http://www.bmj.com/content/337/bmj.a772.full?sid=e559c358-0fe3-47fe-95ef-973f3d0d37fa
this article]], which includes the following:

"Basic fertility investigations including semen analysis, confirmation of ovulation, and tubal patency testing using hysterosalpingography find no specific cause of infertility in about a third of these couples, who are given a "diagnosis" of unexplained infertility. Underlying mechanisms could include cervical, uterine, ovulatory, peritoneal, immunological, or fertilisation defects. Therefore, the true prevalence of this diagnosis will depend on the range of investigations available at individual centres and the willingness of infertile couples to undergo extensive testing."

I'm sure you can see what I'm getting at: "unexplained" is not a diagnosis. It just means the docs haven't found a reason - usually because they haven't tested for "everything under the sun". I certainly haven't been tested for all of the things mentioned (i.e. cervical, uterine, ovulatory, peritoneal, immunological, or fertilisation defects).

I tend to approach things very scientifically, so am of the view that a battery of tests is more likely to lead to finding a solution than having my feet fiddled with or drinking cough medicine would do!

RunLyraRun:we have had the former tests you mentioned (which you have had), and like you also, we have not had the latter ones.
Generally speaking I have never been an advocate of the alternative therapies, leaving them for the flowery hippy power friends amongst us! But now, considering everything (clutching at straws). But I like where you are coming from. Your approach is much more the type of thing which may come up with something concrete, and thus solveable. I am definitely going to try the alternative therapies, in order to relax, if nothing else. How about you? Will you go ahead with the ivf now, or will you have the more in depth tests conducted? I'll certainly quiz our fertility consultant about the tests you have mentioned. I am not looking forward to the ivf one bit.

No matter what the underlying cause is, it seems that IVF is usually the solution - so we will be going ahead with that. But as you say, I will be asking a good few questions first! And depending on the answers, may request some additional tests prior to treatment.

Forgive me for saying this, but I couldn't fail to notice you popping up all over the conception board recently, and you seem to be investing a lot of time and energy in asking for anecdotal accounts of what has worked for other people. I can see several related problems with that:

1. The majority of people on this board, unlike you and I, will not have fertility problems. They will be here for a few months, or a year, and the technique most likely to succeed for them is "lots of shagging". You and I have tried that (not together!), to no avail. Therefore the majority of responses are not necessary helpful to us.

1. It is deeply unscientific: the connection between someone drinking cough medicine and getting pregnant is most likely to be, in my view, nothing more than pure coincidence. Asking "what worked for you" is likely to come up with a whole host of different answers, sending you on a whole host of wild goose chases.

1. It is wasting time that could, I believe, be used more productively. Personally I am waiting for the wheels of the NHS to grind round to it being my turn, but if I was going privately, as I believe you are, I would be focussing my energies on searching for the best clinics, in the UK or abroad (particularly those with decent success rates in older women).

I think I have heard you say that you don't want to set the IVF wheels in motion until 2011, for whatever reason, but in the meantime I believe that time spent investigating foot-fiddlers would be better spent investigating foof-fiddlers!

Runlyrarun: you make me laugh! You are right. We're waiting until the new year as mil has degenerative kidney disease as a direct result of diabetes, and is living with us at the moment with fil. My father has terminal cancer. So there's a lot going on at the mo. Hoping things will settle down next year, and we'll be in a better position to put the wheels in motion, so to speak - on the fertility front. Also we've both got six weeks off early next year, so seemed to be the perfect time. Fertility clinics-wise lots of good results for ladies of a certain age at the ARGC. 90% chance that's where we're going. How about you?Where are you in the uk? I'm in Oxford. x

Aha - well if you have already plumped for ARGC, then fair enough to be investigating random shit in the meantime! And six weeks off sounds great. Apologies if I was rather blunt, I think I am just frustrated at my own failure to get knocked up.

I am in the north west, where there is a dearth of decent clinics. Plus we are having our one and only NHS cycle first, and my PCT limits the choices even further.

If this cycle doesn't work we will be looking elsewhere - money will be an issue, so might go abroad.

I'm sorry to hear about your poorly relatives. My dad has terminal cancer too. Thus far the progression of his disease has been thoroughly unpredictable, so life is a constantly balancing act between not making any plans at all, thus living in perpetual limbo, or making plans regardless, but accepting that we often have to cancel them. Which may include postponing IVF when we finally get to it. I'm sure you can relate to all this!

Good luck with everything x

What's with all the "thus"es?

Hi Miffles, regarding the frequency of treatments, I personally ask the person to see how they are after a couple of treatments to see if they notice any change in general,such as being more relaxed, improved sleep, increase in toileting etc. I start with weekly treatments for a few weeks then every second week for a couple of weeks and so on. Depending on the reflexologist it can be expensive as prices vary.
Im not sure about the uk but health insurances cover a certain number of treatments eg 6 sessions and maybe you can claim tax back???

Reflexology is not a cure it works well with a combination of healthy eating etc.
I studied reflexology because I had back injury and was told by a consultant that I would need surgery, so I did Physio/Reflexology and Pilates and thankfully am fine nearly 10 years later without the surgery. With the Reflexology I found my menstrual cycle corrected itself and my periods were less symptomatic for me.

I am sorry that some have a negative view of Reflexology. Alternative treatments in my opinion are supposed to be used with your doctors knowledge as a combination to help with whatever is an issue for them. Taking time just for yourself is part of helping yourself, there is no guarantee with any treatment whether western medicine or eastern based in origin.
Hope this helps although message very long!! You may fall asleep reading it sorry!!

btw it didnt take 10 years to be better I was back to work within 2 months!!