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Conception

When's the best time to get pregnant? Use our interactive ovulation calculator to work out when you're most fertile and most likely to conceive.

Original poster

Trying for 1st at 36

22 replies

GreenLillium · 21/09/2010 06:40

Hi,

New here. Just wondering. Saw a Dr the other day and she said that it would be hard (not impossible, just hard) to conceive a first child at 36.

My question: Does having a 1st child earlier prep the body or something which then makes it easier for successive children? I would have thought conceiving at 36 would be hard in any case.

Any 36-37s out there who conceived first time at this age and what did you do?

OP posts:
LouM10 · 21/09/2010 07:35

Hi. I'm not 36, but my sister is 36 in Feb and is 7 month preg. She also got told due to her age, it may take longer than the average year. She fell pregnant after 5 weeks of trying. I think everyone is different.

I think the best thing, is to try and not worry about it. My cousin tried for 5 years to get pregnant with no luck. As soon as she told everyone, they were no longer trying, they fell preg. straight away.

I think when you are stressing out, it takes its toll on your body and really does affect your chances of conceiving. My advice, is to enjoy trying, make sure you are relaxed and not worrying too much, and hopefully, it will not be too long. Good luck :)

ninedragons · 21/09/2010 08:00

I did. What did I do? Weeeelll, when a mummy and a daddy love each other very much... Grin

Don't get flustered by doctors/Daily Mail columnists shrieking that you're probably a barren old prune with ovaries like pebbles after 25 or whatever age they've decided is optimum. 36 is really not old enough to freak out. I read once that the average Victorian woman had her first child at 19, but her last at 43. I think your doctor is probably just managing your expectations about how long it's going to take you to conceive. A lot of my friends who had late-30s/early 40s pregnancies (and me) were surprised to find out that after 20 years of being absolutely terrified by the thought of contraceptive failure, you don't actually get pregnant the first time you have unprotected sex.

I think the only word of caution I would offer you is that if it hasn't happened naturally for you, get yourself along the fertility treatment track (if that is what you want) a bit more quickly than you would if you were 30. Acupuncture is known to help follicular development so ask around for a fertility acupuncturist - mine worked with the IVF unit of the local hospital.

First child, afaik, doesn't prep your body but proven fertility is something docs like to see (even an abortion or miscarriage), just so they know everything in there is present and functioning. I'm not a doctor, though.

Good luck!

skandi1 · 21/09/2010 08:04

i concieved dd at 35 and gave birth to her at 36 on our first try!

unless you have pcos or other condition which would lead you to fertility issues then you should have no issues at all.

thinking about no 2 just now and will let you know if we concieve.

honestly dont worry! i thought midwives/hosp would look down on me/make comment about me leaving it "so late" and in fact no comment ws made and sonographer for 12 week scan told me everything was fine with baby and not to wrry about nucal blood results as i "was still young"!

your gp probably doesnt have much experience of pregnancy/conception.

go and have a look at mners in the conception section of mumsnet. plenty of 40+ ttc or pregnant.

good luck and have fun ttc.
x

BikeRunSki · 21/09/2010 08:07

We started TTC our first on my 37th birthday. DS was born 10 months later! No probs with TTC at all.

More than doable!

Rosebud05 · 21/09/2010 08:09

What nine dragons says. Try not to over-think it, many couples take over a year to conceive, risks do increase but they're usually small risks and, most importantly, statistics are just a summary of data, they're not a prognosis.

Easier said that done, and I hope it's an easy journey for you.

Original poster
GreenLillium · 21/09/2010 08:19

Thank you so much all of you! I am one of those scientific/like to have rules and facts(and my own way) people, randomness doesn't suit me!

My partner thrives on it though. However, I think what really upset me last night was that the Dr seemed to view our relationship situation with disbelief and would keep questioning it. I think she thought I was lying to myself about how much my partner cared for me/wanted a baby, just because a)at the moment our relationship is long distance and b)he can't just drop everything and come up and see me because c)she reckons I will ovulate this weekend (fertility friend reckons the week after).

We have just had a very hard year where he lost his job, after 6 months found another one, and is training 7 days a week so that we can live together in the shortest time possible. He is contacting wedding venues and making sure I know I am loved. I'm just hating how people just always seem to question his motives in the relationship, and they haven't even met him or even seen us together.

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 21/09/2010 12:16

Green

Stop thinking, start shagging. That's the best way to get pg you know! My GP didn't even bat an eyelid about my age. DS is now 2, I'll be 40 in a few weeks.

BikeRunSki · 21/09/2010 12:17

And I have a 27 year old friend who was tried for 5 years for her second. Stats, is just stats, not theory (I have a physics degree).

KatyS36 · 21/09/2010 13:45

Got pregnant naturally at 36 after 4 months of trying.

Whilst I wanted to try to stay calm, I wanted to try to stack all the cards in my favour, and I believe there is some research that shows how lifestyle can affect fertility.

Hence for me it was no alcohol, healthy diet, 8 hours sleep a night, sensible exercise, minimise stress. I figured if I didn't get pregnant atr least I'd look fab by the end of the first year :)

Oh yes, and lots of good quality sex, not 'oh shit its ovulation time and its late and I'm tired and we need to get a shag in' but we actually set time aside for 'proper' sex :)

Good luck!

Original poster
GreenLillium · 21/09/2010 13:53

BikeRunSki, okay, okay!!! Thanks so much for making me laugh, I think that's really what I need right now. :)

OP posts:
Greeneyesbigbottom · 21/09/2010 14:16

Thank you from me too - I'm 37 and trying for my first so your comments have put my mind at ease. I am now on month 13 and waiting for test results, so glad I got the ball rolling at 6mths as there are quite long waiting lists.

Good Luck

BikeRunSki · 21/09/2010 18:32

I also second what Katy said about lifestyle and diet. From my login name you'll probably guess that I am quite active, but I really tried hard on the diet and gave up alcohol, except for a very good friend's wedding. And that was just TTC!

LunaticFringe · 22/09/2010 11:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notquitegrownup · 22/09/2010 11:18

I conceived at 37 for the first time, the first day we tried too.

(DS2 took a little longer, three years later, at 41. However, we used an ovulation stick and found that I ovulate on day 4 of my cycle, and once I had found that out, we conceived again quite quickly.)

GP's around here don't bat an eyelid at older mothers, but in this area (Oxford) there are a lot of us, so they would soon have to rethink their ideas.

Best of luck!

SkiHorseWonAWean · 23/09/2010 09:05

It did take me a year to get a successful pregnancy, but at 36 I've just had my first - and I hope not last! :)

Adrianoska · 04/02/2020 18:02

I am 36 and have two kids (12 and 6)... Now I have a new partner and we are trying for a baby. Two cycles and nothing and now I am freaking out! I am really desperate and I am so worried. I ordered ovulation sticks and some fertility lube. I was taking pregnacare conception for a couple of months but it made my cycles so long.... I am trying to eat healthy and I don't smoke or drink ever. Please tell me I will get pregnant! X

paintfairy · 04/02/2020 18:34

I'm 37. I have the same worry. But I know younger people who have tried and struggled. And there's older people saying it worked ok. I guess some people will have issues at any age and some won't? I honestly don't think having one already means anything. I know people that struggled to get a 2nd and never foresaw that because they had one already.

@Notquitegrownup CD4?! How does that even work? (CM wise). I must admit I'm already opking at cd3 in case things are happening earlier than I thought. But I think I'm more like cd11.

Adrianoska · 05/02/2020 11:54

Yeah...? How is it going @paintfairy? How long have you been trying for? X

claireb707 · 05/02/2020 12:01

There's a few (who am I kidding, there's a lot of us) over 35 trying. There's a few threads specifically aimed at 35+ first time tryers

I'm 40 and we're trying for our 1st.

I wouldn't worry about age, it's just a number, it may just take you a little longer to get a BFP that's all

claireb707 · 05/02/2020 12:03

Just realised you've bounced a 10 yr old thread...

There are loads of newer ones around!

paintfairy · 05/02/2020 12:03

@Adrianoska This will be my 3rd cycle. But I'm the same- already worrying it won't happen. Hit everything spot on last month. So was disappointed.

Adrianoska · 05/02/2020 12:23

@claireb707 sorry, just got lost in all those threads... I will try and find newer one x

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