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Original poster

Anyone else going through IVF?

26 replies

OldieMum · 04/08/2003 11:18

Iove just started taking the drugs for an attempt at having a second child through IVF. It would be nice to have other people going through IVF to chat with about it all.

OP posts:
Original poster
OldieMum · 04/08/2003 11:20

Sorry, that should say that I've just started taking the drugs.

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elliott · 04/08/2003 12:34

I'm not going through it now, but have done so twice, both successfully despite hiccups along the way. Is this your first time or are you an 'old hand'? Best of luck anyway....the only bits of advice I can give you are that I found the physical effects not at all difficult to cope with, but mentally it was quite overwhelming/draining. Also, try not to let any 'setbacks' during the cycle get you down - it ain't over till its over in this game!

Original poster
OldieMum · 04/08/2003 13:14

Thanks for this, elliott. I've been through 6 cycles before (6th time lucky with my dd). I thought I'd be matter-of-fact about this attempt to get a second child (with frozen embryos), but this has not been the case so far. Each visit to the unit in the last few months has brought back so many memories of failure. I agree absolutely with your comment about the emotional side being so much harder than the physical side.

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elliott · 04/08/2003 13:27

If its any help, I didn't really find it any easier going through it for the second child compared with the first. I was determined to try to be more 'relaxed' about it, and of course in some ways it IS easier as I don't think it can ever be so hard as before you had children. However as the cycle went on (and particularly in the 2ww at the point I was convinced it hadn't worked) I realised just how much I really wanted another baby. But of course its a great comfort to remember and hold on to how lucky you are to have the first...

I also found it logistically much more difficult with a toddler to look after - kept forgetting to take my drugs at the right time (once because ds woke up covered in vomit and of course it went right out of my head as I was bathing him, clearing it up AND trying to get to work) and also found it hard fixing up childcare for the crucial times when dh and I both had to be there. So you have my sympathies....I certainly hope you don't have to go through so much treatment to be lucky for the second time.

elliott · 04/08/2003 13:31

Of course I am also very lucky not to have any bad memories of treatment failure. What I remember most from my trips to the fertility clinic for the second baby was the great sadness we felt all that time waiting for the first, and I felt profoundly grateful that I could leave the clinic and go and pick up ds, unlike many of the others waiting.

Original poster
OldieMum · 04/08/2003 16:13

Thanks for this, too. When I went to the clinic, it did help to summon up an image of my daughter. I think my problem at the moment is that having her makes me even more aware of what will be lost if the treatment doesn't work. I also feel protective towards the frozen embryos and have no idea how I'll feel if we eventually have to make a decision about how to dispose of them.

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princesspeahead · 04/08/2003 18:59

I have no experience of IVF, but a close friend went through 9 cycles before being successful. After the 8th cycle she left a year gap (therefore the technology was probably a bit better) but what she felt the difference was, was that she learnt self hypnosis relaxation techniques which she used to help her deal with the very real emotional trauma she went through. She really thinks that it helped her very much. She learnt them from a hypnotist in S London who specialised in hypnosis for fertility and childbirth.
I just thought that was interesting, hope you do too. Best of luck, oldiemum

mimsmum · 04/08/2003 19:15

Oldiemum - I have one dd (aged 13 months) from 6 cycles IVF/ICSI and finally donor egg. We would love another and my sister (the donor) is keen to give another egg, but I am so scared about starting again, and the thought of walking back into the clinic makes me feel physically sick! Like you I will keep a mental picture of dd as I lie there next week having prelim. scans and bloods done with a view to an autumn start. Although it must be easier second time around I can't help feeling that failiure would be harder, as we are doing this for 3 of us now, not 2. Fingers crossed for your cycle - dd is a frozen embryo.

lorne · 04/08/2003 21:33

Hi OldieMum,

My ds who will be 4 this month was born using a frozen embryo. We had 3 failed attempts at ICSI then on the third attempt we had 7 eggs frozen. On the first attempt we got our ds. We have used up the other 4 embryos(1 didn't come to anything) so we have no more. We would absolutely love another child but I know I am blessed that I have 1 child as there are so many couples who aren't as lucky as we are. I do get very broody though. My ds loves babies and always asks can we buy him a baby! Wishing you all the very best. Understand how you feel. Take care.

Original poster
OldieMum · 05/08/2003 10:04

Thanks to all of you.

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miriamw · 06/08/2003 15:21

Not going through it, but have been: ds1 (2y, 4m) was result of IVF3, and ds2 (3m) the result of IVF4. So I was lucky that it worked first time second time round.

Childcare was definitely an issue during treatment, especially as ds1 wasn't keen on just being left with my friends, and I needed to be coasted as I was at risk of OHSS. I must admit though that I did in some respects look forward to the day of egg collection - having an excuse to be in bed most of the day (my hospital does general anaesthetic) was great!

I guess that I always hped for more than one child, and so the decision to start treatment again was based on the fact that it might take several attempts again, and so I didn't really feel broody - it took several more months for those feelings to kick in.

And like you I assumed that I would be more matter of fact about things. In some respects I managed this, as I never had brilliant cycles, nor good quality embryos - nevertheless I had been successful before. It is hard not to focus on how many follicles you have at what size etc, but I just had to remind myself that it hadn't really been a good indicator previously as to the outcome.

I was an awful lot busier as well with the toddler to look after - this helped. All the best with your cycle.

bayleaf · 08/08/2003 22:10

Hi oldiemum - would love to keep you company but am stuck 'treading water' at the moment as I'm currently in my EIGHTH week of down regulation and practically climbing the walls with frustration! This cycle was supposed to coincide with the school holidays ( I teach) and, if it goes ahead at all, is now going to coincide with the beginning of term - the worst possible time!!!
I have a dd who was conceived naturally but since then dh's sperm have gone on 'strike' so we need icsi.( nobody seems able to explain why they might have done this).
Anyhow - hope you're not feeling too stressed - are you having a natural cycle?
Bayleaf

Original poster
OldieMum · 08/08/2003 22:36

Hello bayleaf. That sounds horrible. I sympathise with your frustrations about the timing. Many of my previous cycles took place in term time, too (I'm a university teacher). I had a couple of nasty moments when I got hot flushes when teaching classes, beginning a sentence and not sure whether I would ever get to the end of it....

This cycle is a frozen embryo replacement cycle, so I'm taking drugs to thicken the endometrium.

I'd like to keep in touch, if you would. Feel free to email me via 'contact another talker'. And good luck.

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triplets · 09/08/2003 23:37

Hi oldiemum,
Interested to know how old you are, I am 51 and went though my first attempt at IVF when I was 45 after the death of my only child who was 14. That attempt and the following one were both abandoned as I didn`t produce any follicles. After much testing they said that I was going through an early menopause, find myself an egg donor, which I did with the help of the Daily Mail in two weeks! The cycle was very stressful for both of us with so many hiccups along the way, but as you can tell from my nickname it worked, first time. Rebecca, Thomas and James were the outcome, they are now five and are exhuastingly wonderful! Good luck, and never give up hope xxxxxxx

cos · 12/08/2003 16:38

bayleaf, my most sucessful cycle was afer 8 weeks of down reg, produced my beautiful DS now 6.
BTW Longeveau was a great holiday thanks for the recomendation

Original poster
OldieMum · 12/08/2003 16:45

Triplets, I have only just seen this. I'm 41.

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bayleaf · 12/08/2003 19:52

Thanks Cos - I'm glad the holiday recommendation worked out ( you can never be sure can you if your 'great' is someone else's 'not up to much'.)
I need to hear good stories like yours - I'm pretty fed up of the whole thing asn almost certain that I'm not 'down' even now so strongly suspect that they'll cancel the whole cycle when I have my scan on Thursday....

elliott · 12/08/2003 20:44

bayleaf I'm sorry this cycle is turning out to be so frustrating/demoralising. Its hard to be treading water for so long (I always needed an extra week of down-regging which was bad enough) - I hope you don't have to cancel.

cos · 12/08/2003 22:41

Bayleaf, I always found planning around a cycle a nightmare. I always had to downregulate a long time, but remember the further down u are the better so to speak. Dont worry about work, i remember it all seemed hugely important at the time but in the greater scheme of things your ivf is priority now

Jane64 · 14/08/2003 12:08

I went through a full IVF cycle that failed but I had quite a few embryos frozen. My DS was born on the second frozen embryo attempt. He's now 17mths old & I have 5 frozen embryos left. I've just made an appt to see the consultant to try for another baby using the frozen embryos. Everything everybody has said here about the emotional & physical side of IVF is so true I felt I could've written it myself. I'm hoping to start the process in October - sounds a long way off but when you think you only get once chance a month & we're not seeing the consultant till mid September that's the first opportunity! I do wish you well .....no-one can really understand what it's like unless they've been through it, so it's good to have message boards like these to share our feelings. I've you'd like to keep in touch by email I would be happy to.

dadslib · 14/08/2003 13:47

Message withdrawn

bayleaf · 14/08/2003 19:07

Down reg Diva back again.....
I'm about to ovulate - so it's another hcg dose ( my second since I started trying to down regulate 8 weeks ago...), a hefty new down reg drug ( a one off injection) and come back in 3 weeks!
Oh what joy.....
Jane64 welcome to the mumsnet ttcers - I guess you're 39 too from your name!

Jane64 · 14/08/2003 22:14

Hi Bayleaf...yes you're right I am 39, although my frozen fertilised eggs are 35! If ever you stop to think about what we're doing isn't it bizarre? My DS was conceived whilst we weren't there, he was then in the freezer for 12 months before starting to grow & now we've had to make an appt to try for another baby! And although I've had IVF failures & 8 years of failed other treatment before that, I have to say I think my rollercoaster ride has been fairly straightforward compared to the experiences others such as yourself have had/are having.

Original poster
OldieMum · 03/09/2003 21:42

Just to tell those of you who kindly gave me support before my IVF cycle - it didn't work, but we will try again soon. Thanks to all.

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Angiel · 03/09/2003 22:45

I'm sorry to hear that. Thinking of you.

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