trying for number 2 after a traumatic birth

[changedenomextraordinaire]

Not sure if this is the right thread but here goes ( I have namechanged but I'm a lurker turned sort of regular )

My first pregnancy was unplanned and I had a fear of childbirth and also dr's and hospitals that I found hard to get taken seriously, I eventually was given the option of a elc.
unfortunately I went into labour at 35 wks ( caused I believe by stress) I had a 68 hr labour with a failed epidural, back to back baby who was manually turned and a threatened forceps delivery which thankfully I avoided. This was followed by a six day hospital stay due to jaundice and feeding problems.
Needless to say I have had some problems coming to terms with events and believe I may even have had some form of ptsd although it was never diagnosed.

my dd is now 2 and I am finally feeling as though it is in the past and i recently attended a birth afterthoughts session which provided some clarity and closure.
I am due to meet with a consultant this month to discuss my options for a possible next pregnancy/birth I am pretty adamant I want a elc but there is a small part of me that thinks I've done this once so maybe a birth centre birth (homebirth not an option as 40 mins from nearest hospital) something less hospitally.

Does anyone have any experience of planning a 2nd after a difficult 1st time?
Any suggestions as to what I should say/ask consultant about?

sorry this is sooo long!

Not personal experience, but a friend had an ELC after v v traumatic emergency section and it went brilliantly...
But everyone is different, and of course you have to consider that you did deliver vaginally.
Good luck with whatever you decide... Hope you are listened to very carefully...

Thanks, I just really want to be in some control for the next one, or there just won't be another.

I also had a traumatic birth first time round which ended in an EMCS and a week in SCBU for DS. We are fine now, but the memory hasn't exactly faded, I still get teary thinking about it.

I had a meeting with the consultant when DS was about 4 months old. He was keen to go through my last labour in a lot of detail (including showing me the trace print outs from DS etc), so be prepared for this. It did mean though that I was at least informed as to exactly why things had gone so wrong. In terms of next time, he was very relaxed and said that he would support whatever birth choice I wanted, and certainly would not deny me an ELC if that was what I wanted. He has put this in writing in a letter to my GP, just in case for whatever reason he is not the person who ultimately has to make the decision. It might be worth asking your consultant if he will do this. It is really reassuring for me to know that I will not have a fight on my hands down the line. My consultant even said that if it was him, if I decided to go for VBAC I could change my mind at any point and he'd get me in for an ELC, even if I left it to 40+ weeks.

Good luck!

thanks grumpyfish that's exactly what i'm hoping for, something in writing as different people have told me different things and I'd like the reassurance that if I can't go through with another natural birth I can 'fall back' on elc as it were.

bump
your thoughts/words of wisdom greatly appreciated