SWI but really anxious about 'what if we're successful'

[SmallButStrong]

I'm new to MN so please bear with me!

My DH and I recently decided to start TTC and, although a lot of the time I feel positive, and even excited, about the prospect of being a mum, I can't categorically say I definitely know I want to have kids.

I feel very confused, since several people around us (with littl'uns) have said "definitely only have them if you're absolutely certain you want to"...but i'm not sure that will ever happen.

I am 33 and DH is 38 so definitely don't want to leave it lots of time to wait to see if we get that burning need for offspring!

I've also started to become really anxious about the thought of having a baby growing inside me, what it will all feel like, and about whether i'll be able to cope with a baby.

Is this at all normal? Or is it a sign that I'm not going to be a good mum?

Looking forward to getting some opinions from others who have been there.

Yours,

its normal smallbutstrong. i dont think theres ever gonna be a time were your gonna be 100% because they will always be some kind of things thats gonna put you off a little. and as for the worries there totlay normal, i was worrying about getting a fat belly afterwards and can i cope with 2, your mind goes overdrive, but eventually i decided to stop the thinking and just let nature take its course.
the worrying actually means you will make a fab mum :)

Thanks so much beckie90 - I think i'm thinking too much and I suppose its such a life-changing thing that hopefully this level of apprehension is 'normal'.

Completely bloody normal. I feel like that still. "Oh I'm too young and immature to be a parent" etc. I'm 35 :(

I agree with the other posters, a bit of nerves are normal and in fact healthy! If you went into it thinking it will all be easy and plain sailing I would be a little more worried for you! You will be a great mum!

I am ttc number two and nervous too. Yesterday I did a pregnancy test and thought I saw a fient line and felt excited rather than scared. Even though it was negative in the end, I found out that I really really do want to be pregnant

good luck!

MummyAbroad and Ariesgirl I really appreciate your comments, thank you. Maybe if i'd got on with it aged 20 i'd be less affected by seeing all those around me with their concerns, worries and difficulties! Good luck to you both too.

its natural at any age SMALL hope it happens for yoouu and when it does its fantastick a little mixed emotions when you first find out your preg but after it sinks in it wow, and the scans are amazing all your worrys just melt away :)
ive only just turned 20 and already have a little boy, if i can do it you certainly can good luck :)
and your right its a majour life changing thing, so your bound to feel abit should i or shouldnt i. x

I always knew I wanted to have children and would definitely say you need to be keen on the idea. They turn your life upside down in a way you can not understand until you have done it and it is very hard work.

I honestly think it depends on your personality - I felt a similar way to you about applying for jobs, buying a house - pretty much any huge decision but I think it is because I want these things to turn out well, it is a sign of my conscientiousness rather than unpreparedness if that makes sense.

I 'tested' myself for a few months asking myself constantly if I still felt the same way and what would I do in this situation with a baby etc and my DD is now 28mo and we are hoping to start ttc no2 soon!

Thanks everyone. Interesting what you say fizzpops - thinking about it I don't take any of my 'big' decisions in life lightly so this thought process is probably pretty normal for me.

beckie90 loved what you said about the scans. When i think about that i get a fuzz of excitement, but - sorrento 56 - I think I've also got a teeny weeny appreciation of the impact its likely to have on my life which reduces the excitement somewhat!!!

I used to think I knew what it was like to have a baby having nannied for many years.