Does anybody have any idea why a man is unable to ejaculate when they are TTC?

[RTKangaMummy]

Does anybody have any idea why a man is unable to ejaculate when they are TTC?

My best friend and her DH have been TTC for over a year

And quite often he doesn't ejaculate

Is this just because of being nervous of getting her preggers {although they both want a baby}???

Or is there another reason that can be treated IYSWIM???

I have suggested playing games etc and so trying to relax him

But was wondering if anybody else had had some experience and found a solution.

He is 40 and a non drinker and a non smoker and wears boxers and is normal weight.

Is there some medical treatment that can work?

TIA

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Perfomance pressure I suspect. Being able to have sponetaneous sex would be good. Being manipulated into having apparently apontaneous sex (with one eye on the OPK) - definte no no.

That is what I was thinking

I was just hoping there was another reason so he could get some help IYSWIM

It might be physical but could easily be psychological. Maybe he's got some deep rooted unconscious fear of impregnation???? I say this cause after TTC for three years I went to hypnosis for stopping smoking (I'd started again with all the TTC stress) and, after mentioning TTC to the therapist she suggested that I might have some kind of 'psychological' block'. Can I just say I HATE all kinds of 'just relax and it'll happen' stuff (and nearly gubbed the therapist when she suggested my 'blockage') but after one session with her I stopped smoking and got pg within a month. All I'm saying is, if the problem isn't physical then it could be deep rooted pyshcological.

Right, slipping off my big purple velvet hippy flares and stumbling off to bed.

wow

He is a worrier kind of bloke so may suggest that to BF

They would make such great parents, BF is worring cos she is turning 40 next year and so thinks her fertility will be dropping as well

So think they put quite alot of pressure on themselves IYSWIM

I have PCOS and so had to have treatment {clomid} etc to get preggers so realise the pressures.

And she knows all about what we went through and so I think that is adding to it all.

But my knowledge is all from 10 years ago, as DS is now 10. so am out of touch with present treatments.

Anybody else with any ideas?

This may be completely unrelated, but when my dp was taking anti-depressants he had this problem. He either lasted too long or didn't ejaculate at all. He didn't seem to mind but it did my ego No Good. When he came off the pills everything was back to normal.

He's not on any medication is he?

It's probably just pressure to perform. It might also be that he thinks she only wants sex to make a baby, not to make love with him.

I actually think that playing games, dressing up and all the rest of it won't be very helpful - it smacks a bit of desparation and may make his anxiety worse because he will know that she's only doing it because he can't perform, if you get my drift.

It might be an idea for her to tell him that she thinks they ought to take a break from actively ttc and just enjoy each other again for the sake of it. It might take the pressure off enough to let him relax.

desperation ... but you know what I meant

Thanks guys he is not on any drugs AFAIK

I will pass on all the tips, you may have a point there WWB