It's been 20 months now... who else has been trying TTC#1 for this long?

[cherrytomatobomb]

is there any one else who is losing hope like me? We stopped using contraception 20 months ago... been actively trying, counting, measuring, taking all the supplements etc for 12 months now.

I'm 37 now. I have been told I am ovulating following blood tests and DP has 2 children from previous marriage. WHY is it taking so long?????

We have appt to see consultant in 6 weeks. I'm scared because I never wanted to do the IVF thing and I dont think I have any strength left for more disappointments. I dont think we're eligible for free treatment anyway.

Would be really nice to hear from you if you're in a similar situation, or just starting out with any treatment???

thanks and sorry its a bit me me me x

Hi cherry.

I'll take your 20 months & raise you to 36

OK, so we weren't actively going for it at the beginning, but we weren't using contraception either.

We've been to a fertility clinic, all initial tests seem OK. I'm 38, boyf is 36, no children on either side.

I've been prescribed Clomid to make me "super fertile", but to be honest have just stopped after 3 months. I have another appointment on 9 Sept.

Try not to be scared about your consultant appointment, there are plenty of things they can look at before IVF.

The disappointment is hard, some months are easier to stomach than others.

If you feel you can have a very dark sense of humour about this the BESH board is really, really supportive. We're all in our mid to late 30's & at varying degrees of TTC.

Here's to a positive outcome.

hello there, name twin!! I'll take your 36 months LL and raise you 48. Although we have only been 'trying' for about 18 and really REALLY trying for 8. I also have my 2nd FC appointment on the 9th (there 3 of us over ot the BESH thread with an appointment that day. Madness!) I am 38 and a half (oh how those halves start to get important the closer you get to 40, like being single digits again.)

I got involved with the FC more as a fact finding exercise, I had a pact with the DH that we wouldn't take any 'extraordinary measures' although that was in the early days, when I thought it was going to be easy to get up the duff (pah) So far, it turns out things are ok with me but a little on the low side with him. Although there are more tests that I think will happen after the 9th so who knows what that will show.

I sympathise with your reservations re IVF. I am taking it one day (FC appointment) at a time and hoping that it wont be necessary. That we can sort things out through lifestyle and timing etc. I think we get one free IVF treatment on the NHS, not sure if we have to pay for the drugs ourselves, but there are plenty of other routes to explore first and also lots of heartening anecdotal evidence that people get pregnant just as they start down the FC route.

Loads of luck cherry I hope it all works out.

if it's any help, i conceived my son after about 22 months of trying hard (a few weeks before I turned 38). this was after two easily conceived and unexplained miscarriages. we went down the treatment route - clomid, IUI, IVF, but it ended up happening naturally.

Two years on, we're trying IVF again for a second, though we know it's unlikely to work because my egg reserves seem to have given out early.

my best advice is to act fast, only because I was told by multiple consultants that fertility makes a big decline at 37.5 (after the initial one around 35 and before the third one at 40). I know it's not what anyone wants to hear but the younger you are the better for any treatment outcome and/or to identify anything that is holding things back naturally.

also, NHS funding may cut you off if you're over 38 or 39.

the first time the consultant i saw for clomid mentioned IVF, and pulled out a big medical kit full of needles to give me, i thought i'd faint. It scared the heck out of me, but truth be told it's really not scary (in my experience).

the disappointment, and not knowing if you'll be a mum, are the worst, I agree.

best wishes.

thanks so much for your replies, I really hope you all get your BFP soon.

chandellina I'm so sorry about your miscarriages. You are so right about the time issue. I have noticed changes in AF over the past 3-4 months and I'm constantly aware that my age is not helping. But I really want to be a Mum.

Laurie and Saladbomb which thread is the BESH one??? I need a good kick up the arse for feeling so sorry for myself...

Cherry if its a kick up the arse you want then the BESH board is definitely the place to be. Its the thread that starts "1001 Fallopian Nights".

Hope to see you there soon.

Come over Cherry. We await you.

chandelina, thanks for giving me some hope.

I had two early miscarriages two years ago. Both times I had fallen pregnant really quickly. Since then, nothing.

You've renewed my focus. Thanks!

It just takes the one good egg ... good luck!

Dear Cherry,

We also tried for a long time before going for some help. I never thought that would try IVF but as time went on we both changed our minds.

As is perhaps as is a given from my user name we did end up using IVf which really wasn't as scary as i thought it would be....HOWEVER we were very lucky and it worked for us first time and I am now ten weeks pregnant. Therefore I cannot begin to say how I would have felt if it had not worked. I only know that the tww for testing was no where near as hard as the three week wait to see if it was a real pregnancy. At that point I had been given hope where as I went in to the process with the thought that we were not having luck by ourselves and we didn't want to think in 10 years time ... we wish we had given it a go......

PS I am 35.

Hi ladies, I've been trying for 13 months now but am counting this a cycle 6 as we started v relaxed (pah!) and I have very long/irregular cycles. I too have an appointment with the FC on the 9th! It'll be our first appointment and I'm kind of hoping they'll offer me clomid. I know I can get pregnant as I have a 3 year old son with my DH but every chance is so far apart and it's clearly not working out very well for us