What is wrong with me?

[chico193]

Hi! I have been around here a couple of times before on TTC threads. Basically I have been TTC on and off for approx. 18 months although not been trying to prevent anything happening for longer. Really want a baby and am really jealous of those I know getting pg (although obviously really happy for them as well and love their babies!) However, we just haven't managed to do the focused BD'ing that I am sure you need for it to happen. I just can't seem to fully focus on TTC, sometimes it is all I can think about, but sometimes I get really caught up in work or just life in general and months get missed. So although it has been quite a long time of trying without getting pg, I don't really feel I can count all those months because I know we haven't tried properly...
How on earth can I motivate myself? It sounds stupid but we just BD as and when normally (sorry if TMI) so not usually on right days or frequently enough etc. I am willing to do anything else necessary to get pg so long as it doesn't involve having a good memory, taking tablets is pretty much out! Does anyone else have this problem or am I just mad?

Hi Chico, didnt want you to go unanswered and I am no professional but I have a friend who is a fertility nurse and she definitely says "you gotta be in it to win it!". Basically BD regularly through the month and you should catch! We are ttc number 2 and I share your sometime lack of motivation but have been told if we bd twice a week through the month we should be ok! Her mantra officially is Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday but no way can I afford to lose that much sleep time right now! If you are worried you can also go and see your gp as its been over 12 months but might be worth a concerted effort first if you do want that baby. Good Luck

Thanks for the reply. I am a bit worried but I think unnecessarily. We have not managed to BD that often and regularly on any month out of the year so would feel a bit stupid going to the doctor TBH. Got time over the summer holiday to put a concerted effort in and then hopefully carry on when go back to work. Problem is that I am always v tired and OH has different sleeping pattern to me so we are very rarely awake in bed at the same time!

Hi chico, You're not mad, I am exactly the same. We been actively trying for 12 months but not preventing for 8 before that. I've tried the clearblue monitor for 6 months but its surprising how we still didn't manage to BD on the right nights due to illness, working, etc. I had a few months off as a close friend announced her pregnancy and I lost it completely (alone at home I hasten to add!) but now we have fertility appt booked and Ive had Day 21 blood tests. No other tests as yet.
We're now becoming really concerned and have both cut right down on alcohol and hes trying to quit smoking. We're taking vitamins and BD every other night if we can!!!

We gotta be in to win it as Whiteybaby so rightly says

Good luck, will keep my fingers crossed for you!!

I'm in a similar situation, chico. We've been TTC forever, but some months are more focussed than others and to be perfectly honest sometimes we've both just been too knackered to bother! I do wonder if it also has something to do with the fact that whilst we have a very good relationship, we've been together for over 11 years and are well beyond the sex-crazed-lust-beasts stage, so the idea of limitless shagging isn't quite as appealing as it would have been ten years ago.

Hi Chico,
From the other end of the spectrum - with tests done, issues diagnosed, treatments not working well enough to get the result [ie - bfp] etc I can say that it isn't easy to be really focused on it it's a huge effort and can be quite emotionally draining. I know I've been prone to more depression now as a result of all the CD counting and testing etc..
I agree with the - moderately regular sex pattern 2 - 3 times a week and especially from CD 8 - CD 20 or thereabouts if you have fairly regular periods.
Best of luck.
NOTE: I think it would help to get some tests underway -- just to reassure you that everything is in working order or to quickly alert you to a possible issue.

Also - if possible try not to be so hard on yourselves -- that doesn't help at all. Easy to say, very hard to practice - I am a prime example of that

Thanks for the replies. Think I will try to be really focused for the next three months, then if nothing happens think about going to the doctor. I am still quite young (26) and neither of us have ever smoked, I don't drink and OH only a few pints every now and then so think we are doing ok from that point of view, although could probably eat a bit healthier and exercise a bit more. BMI also in the healthy range. I feel really stupid for being so disappointed when I know that a positive is unlikely due to lack of BD - once on a good day isn't going to do it and I know that!