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Conception

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Original poster

Egg Donation. Really want to do it, but scared to!

29 replies

Toothache · 19/08/2005 10:16

I've posted about this before, but it was ages ago. I really want to donate my eggs. I have thought about this for ages.....and I think that apart from serious illness (of you or a loved one) being told you can't have children must be up there with the worst news ever if you want children.

I would love to help. I heard yesterday that the waiting list is 3yrs for donated eggs. And that the younger the donor is the better. Well I'm only 27 and would feel so priveleged to help even just one person have the baby they so yearn for.

I know how it feels to long for a baby..... but the only thing stopping me was circumstances (money, house etc). But I was SO lucky in that when we decided to have a baby.... we just did. How much do we take that for granted.

I would ove to hear of any MN'ers experiences of either donating, or receiving a dontated egg.

Would I need lots of time off work? How long does the whole process take? Would it jeopardise my future fertility.

Any advice/experiences would be fab.

TIA

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 19/08/2005 10:31

Don't really know much about it, but do know it is no longer anonymous in the UK, in case that's another factor you are considering.

Original poster
Toothache · 19/08/2005 10:33

Expat - No that doesn't bother me too much. In fact, I'd probably quite like to meet the families.... I know thats not likely to happen though.

OP posts:
Kelly1978 · 19/08/2005 10:36

loads of info here

I think it's lovely you are thinking about it, I know I couldn't.

expatinscotland · 19/08/2005 10:38

I hate injections, so it's not for me. But it's a lovely idea! Hope you find out if it's for you or not.

Original poster
Toothache · 19/08/2005 10:41

Wow thanks Kelly1978! There are lots of things there I hadn't considered.... I hadn't realised it would involve so much time off at short notice. Or that I'd have to be screened for genetic disorders. Hmmm. Not as easy as I thought, no wonder there is a shortage.

OP posts:
bakedalaska · 19/08/2005 20:39

The procedure is basically the same as anyone goes through in IVF except it will end for you when the eggs come out. It is uncomfortable and inconvenient. I cannot imagine why anyone would be so selfless but I am so very pleased that someone was. If I could meet our egg donor I would fall down and kiss her feet. I would do this even if they were sweaty and stinky but would probably be wondering if DD will grow up to have similar feet.

mancmum · 19/08/2005 20:45

I can not let this post go without saying what a fabulous person I think you are for going for this.. I have brushed with infertility and know the huge pain it causes.. so for you to do this I think is amazing ... I would have done it but I was too old...

I have never done the hyperstimulation drugs but lower level ones can make you feel bloated and there are lots of scans retrieval is uncomfortable... it should not effect future fertility but there are no guaratees over stimulation is an issue... best to check it out..

But WOW -- you are going to be such an important hugely inspirational person to a couple and make them a family if you goahead...

philippat · 19/08/2005 20:59

I think in the UK they say you should have already finished your own family.

onlyjoking9329 · 19/08/2005 21:08

i donated eggs 7 years ago, it took up a fair bit of time but in the scheme of things that wasn't important to me, i had three kids and had experienced MC and an ectopic so know how hard it can be for some people and i guess that was my motivation, the injections were easy to do the scans were ok, the egg retrieval was a bit uncomfortable but hey the best bits for me were the letter from the lady who got my eggs, first letter to say thankyou, second letter to say she was pregnant and the third letter came with champagne chocs and flowers to say she had given birth to a baby girl, it was brill i will treasure those letters forever, DO IT, you won't regret it cat me if you want to

successful · 19/08/2005 21:15

Do it, I am lucky enough to be able to produce my own eggs for our IVF treatment. The harvesting is uncomfortable and invasive, but over very quick and I am sure it is very rewarding just the thought of helping people have the most natural thing in the world.

bran · 19/08/2005 21:18

LOL bakedalaska

Toothache it would be a wonderful gift to give to someone, but having been through a few cycles of IVF and had hyperstimulation myself I have to say that it was worth the risk and discomfort to try for a child for myself but I wouldn't do it for someone else. In fact, it almost wasn't worth it for myself as I decided never to have IVF again after I had hyperstimulation, mostly because the hyperstimulation was so frightening.

Having said that, there are lots of dangerous things that I wouldn't do and wouldn't ask friends or family to do for me but I'm still very grateful that people do. It takes great courage to put the well-being of others before your own.

Pruni · 19/08/2005 21:22

Message withdrawn

Mirage · 19/08/2005 21:57

Toothache what a wonderful thing to consider doing.I was told 5 years ago that I'd never have my own children,but was lucky enough to prove the Drs wrong.I'll never forget the pain of infertlity & if I wasn't too old,would consider donating too.

All the best,regardless of what you decide

Onlyjoking-what a fabulous woman you are! It must be lovely to know how much happiness you have given that family

onlyjoking9329 · 19/08/2005 22:08

thanks it felt good to do it, they asked loads of questions about my familys medical history which i was not able to give them as i grew up in care so didn't really know my family, a year after i donated my eggs my twin girls were DX with autism and then a year later my son was also DX with autism, i told the ivf clinic that because of this i could not donate a second time, they said as autism was not genetic that i could still donate, but i decided not to, the thing that worried me about it all is that the people who recieve your eggs and go on to have a child from your egg can sue you if the child has a genetic condition from your egg, but only if you knew about it,i didn't know about the autism then but it still worries me.

Original poster
Toothache · 22/08/2005 09:09

Thanks so much for all your messages, I'm welling up at work!!

I haven't finished having my family yet, if we can DH and I are definitely going for number 3 in a couple of years. So will I have to wait until after that? I should still be young enough, I hope to havepushed the third out before I'm 30.

Does anyone know how long you have to wait after giving birth before you can start egg donation?

OP posts:
Nadene · 23/08/2005 08:20

Sorry to ask this insensitive question - but does anyone know of the financial benefits of doing this?

jersey · 23/08/2005 08:30

Wow Toothache I am so glad you are thinking of this. My sister can't have children and I offered to do this for her, but luckly they think she can use her own eggs, also we still want 2 more children and then I will be too old.

But, I think it is fabulous that you are prepared to do this for others who can't use their own eggs!

Original poster
Toothache · 23/08/2005 09:30

Nadene - You only get expenses, as in travelling required or childcare. No payments involved.... or there would be students lining up down the streets selling their eggs for cider money!

Jersey - I would probably go as far as to say I would be a surragate too. Its something that most of us have the ability to do and it seems so tragic that the waiting lists are so long (egg donation I mean.... rather than surragacy).

OP posts:
gigglinggoblin · 23/08/2005 09:41

what happens if your child meets the child who results from the donation and they want to get together (in a more than just good friends type way)? is there any way for them to know they are related?

Original poster
Toothache · 23/08/2005 09:51

Yes, they are supposed to go for genetic tests before they get married.

OP posts:
jersey · 23/08/2005 10:42

Not sure I could be a surragate mum as after carrying the child I don't think I could give it up!!

expatinscotland · 23/08/2005 10:44

Only expenses? Whoa! I had no idea. In the States they get money as well. Usually about $5000 but sometimes more depending on their genetic background. If they took away the compensation, they'd be hard-pressed to find women willing to go thru it.

regularlurker · 23/08/2005 13:00

I am considering donating eggs for a friend who recently found out she has gone through early menopause, it's just so unfair, she is only in her early 30s.

My main worry is for my own fertility afterwards - does anyone know if there are possible complications involved with donating eggs that might affect being able to conceive afterwards?

Toothache, sorry for the hijack!

Original poster
Toothache · 23/08/2005 13:13

Regular Lurker - I think the fertility risk is attached to the risk of developing an infection, so the same stats as catching an infection from any invasive procedure I suppose. Also if your ovaries over stimulate it can take a long time (months) for your body to return to a normal level.

I think they are reluctant to let you donate eggs if you have not yet finished having babies.

Thats a very worthwhile thing you are thinking of doing! I think I would do the same for one of my friends.

OP posts:
regularlurker · 24/08/2005 13:23

Thanks Toothache.

I've got an appointment in a few weeks to find out a bit more about it.

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