Anyone else struggle?

[Yippeeforme]

I get so bogged down with guilt over anything I do that's not basic to survival.

I do my best recycle what I can and try to remember which products come with less packaging in the first place, cook from scratch, avoid using cling film to store food. I avoid disposable stuff as much as possible, made my own masks, use square pieces of flannel in place of paper towels, and am sewing washable sanitary pads and using a cup. I use soap and shampoo bars to avoid bottles, use dish soap to clean most things. I buy most furniture and clothes secondhand and rarely. I knit my own jumpers and am learning to sew clothes. I rarely wear makeup and the last time I bought any was for my wedding over 4 years ago. I layer up before resorting to putting on the heating, and I don't get drive but also don't plan to own a separate car when I do learn.

But surely all of this is negated by my big TV, music speaker, phone and tablet, all used daily, my KitchenAid mixer and the bread/desserts I make on a weekly-fortnightly basis with it, the tumble dryer (trying to convince DH to let us get rid tbf), the occasional booze and frequent tea consumption... And maybe worst of all, the firebowl in the back yard that we occasionally cook over and then sit and relax in front of the flames. It has a therapeutic effect that nothing else quite matches. Slows down the hamster wheel in my head. It's only used once or twice a month.

Anyway, I basically have a constant battle inside over everything I do that isn't necessary to survival. I don't need to watch TV or movies, or light a fire, or have wine, cake or bread, and I could probably survive even longer without the heating on. I could quit my job since we don't need it financially, and I could quit my hobbies. I could just exist.

But I pretty much lived like that before, when I was unemployed and tried to just fill up my time on housekeeping. It wasn't much of a life. It even made me question why I existed at all.

So these things I don't need, they make life nice... but they're not necessary to my existence. I guess I struggle to know if I'm getting the balance right, because it feels like there always something else I could be cutting from my life. I just struggle so much with guilt over the impact every little thing I do has on the planet, and I get a panicked feeling with every news story reminding us of the whole sorry situation. But, just existing is horrible. I don't know how I can ever feel ok with myself when the planet is burning up all around us, and everything I do contributes to it, but I also know that the human brain doesn't settle for mere survival.

Not sure what I'm expecting from posting this here, guess I'm just wondering, who else feels this conflict inside them all the time? And do you manage to find any optimism to keep you going?

I can relate, you’re doing loads already though! Please don’t worry too much, although I know it’s easier said than done.

I just do the best I can. For instance, I still drink (European) wine - not too many drink miles We do have a fire sometimes, burning fallen and waste wood.

I also use electronic devices a lot (too much!). I bought second hand refurbished phone and laptop. I’ve switched us over to 100% green electricity (and it’s quite cheap!) and I have just invested in a solar powered charger for my phone which was fairly expensive but brilliant when outdoors all day or on camping trips.

Just to add that life has still got to have fun in it or it’s not possible to keep up the effort. Cheers

Firstly if you are focused on climate change, don't get distracted by plastic waste, resource use etc, focus on climate change

a lot of things require electric or could be converted to electric, and the Uk is well on its way to having all green electric. electric will be the green future. So you get to keep the TV and laptop etc. You are not solving climate change yourself, the country is changing too. I'm trying to persuade myself to go for an electric hob when the kitchen gets refitted.

For stuff you can't do electric now, be careful. Transport is the uks biggest climate change problem. If you drive, go a little slower on the motorway, makes a huge difference . Saves a few pennies too, Watch the flights. Once a year, should be ok, every other month much less so, it's about doing your share, not doing it all,

Then it's agriculture. So meat and diary is ok, but meat everyday is a problem.

And by changing your behaviour, you normalise the best behaviours. Like trend setter.

I also have green guilt, when I look at how much plastic goes in my bin and can't be recycled.

I know that I can't save the planet singlehanded so I just try and focus on doing what I can. I try and introduce one green habit at a time. So, I've switched to bar soap, I try and buy condiments in glass bottles etc.

I'm also trying to 'Think outside the box'. So, during lockdown, I went foraging for wild garlic and blackberries (food miles:zero). I've also bought a bird feeder, which I try and keep stocked with seed. Next year, I plan on growing more flowers and plants to attract insets and butterflies into my garden.