@Enigma53
"Hey **
Im hanging by a thread! Start a new chemo on Wednesday ( great!) 🙄
.......
Hope this helps a bit.
How are you doing overall! I understand the anxiety, it’s insane isn’t it ❤️ x"
Thank you so much! That's helped a LOT, very clear.
A new chemo for you sounds terrifying but at least a bit hopeful too - that they're still with you and still trying stuff? I know it will likely be unpleasant, though - arrgh. It's so hard to tell what's the illness and what's the drugs making us feel so awful.
God yes the anxiety IS insane, and mimics physical symptoms soooo well. I spent the whole weekend feeling as if there was a great heavy rock in my chest. Exactly like how it felt, in fact, when I had one lung 3 litres full of fluid, which would mean recurrence for sure.... except not really, as I was fine breathing-wise when I was asleep or walking around trying to soothe a fussy baby.
Last night I got fed up and took some Oramorph, I hate this stuff as it makes me nauseous, but at least I slept and feel kind of spaced out today. It's that kind of desperation which I'm hoping Curaleaf might help with so I don't have to use the stupid morphine stuff just to get relief from cripping anxiety. (I also have diazepam to use if I need it but I HATE the side-effects from that too!)
Funny kind of life, isn't it. 🙄
Love to all of you similarly struggling, for whatever reason. Let's hope Curaleaf gives us some respite, at least.