Today is another I wake up close to tears. Every day lately I'm extremely emotional and feel like there is no point to living like this.
I'm not suicidal or ever want to harm myself as I have amazing children that I will watch grow up to be the best versions of themselves as adults. The depression is there lingering 24/7 and I cannot shake it off.
Since 2015 I have suffered with chronic pain, over the years it has gor worse and more health issues have hit me. In 2017 I got diagnosed with fibromyalgia, in 2019 I got pulmonary Embolisms in both lungs, in 2020 I got diagnosed with nerve pain due to pinched nerves in upper and lower back. In 2021 I got pulmonary Embolisms again in both lungs and now 2023 I'm waiting on scans to see if those clots are back again.
It just seems to be a constant battle just to keep living, my body is forever attacking itself and doctors have zero clue how to help me and most don't even bother trying. I've been on waiting list for women's aid since March as I'm also dealing with an abusive ex husband who is always trying to destroy my life which just has brought me to the darkest of depressions I've ever experienced.
I have zero friends, don't have any relationships with my family so I'm very isolated. I live in Bangor Northern Ireland so the reason for this post is to see if there is any groups out there for me to join to help me not feel so alone?