Hi all,
I'm posting here today half as a rant, and half hoping for some advice please.
I've had lower back pain & sciatica on and off for 13 years or so, as a result of a bulging disc in the lower spine. These symptoms significantly worsened whilst working an intensive job 4-5 years ago - a couple of years later it was confirmed I had another bulging disc just beneath. Today my lower back pain is immense and I struggle with Sciatica most days, much bending and lifting is completely off the cards for me. I use a support belt daily and recently resorted to a cane because I limp from sciatica so much.
Additionally around 4 years ago, the time of my first and only pregnancy, I started suffering immense muscle pain and fatigue in the limbs and the sensation of weakness in the muscles and joints. I developed a sudden propensity towards infections and sensitivity to basically anything, and awful flare up where it feel like poison courses through my veins & limbs etc.
I was lucky to have a doctor who spent the next 18-24months speeding through investigations, sending me to a Rheumatologist who promptly diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia at the end of 2020.
My daughter turned 3 last year and my DWP work requirements kicked in. I informed them of the severity of my health conditions, which now dictate my life.. and I informed them I was sitting through technology qualifications at home as I know the only work I can now do is in my mind and from a desktop, my body is now wholly unreliable - I am no longer able to do manual or physical work. My work coach was happy enough with that but had to trigger a WCA and suggested I apply for PIP.
I applied for PIP and was successful. However I've just had my WCA decision back (7 month process in total), and they have deemed me "Fit for Work".
I was expecting "Limited Capability for Work", so this has completely thrown me into confusion and turmoil. The letter does not mention my illnesses at all and makes no reference to what work think I am capable of, which I find bizarre.
I know I got the decision today, in the middle of a nasty flare up of my Fibro, a day I've barely been able to lift my limbs, when my chores have been neglected, and I had to take a nap at 12pm because I felt the energy leave my body, like a soul leaving after death.
I'm an emotionally strong person, prior to my disabilities I was a physically strong person. I've worked every year since leaving school up until my maternity leave, and then I developed a nasty disease. I'm not work shy, I'm always trying to better my education, I have just completed two technology qualifications to enable me to be able to work towards high paying contractual work from home, that I can hopefully manage in my own time.
However, I can barely walk or travel, I can't bend or lift. I can barely get down my stairs in the morning or up them late at night. One day of travel on the busses will more than likely trigger a Fibro flare up the same evening or the following day, meaning I am unable to repeat the journey or complete daily tasks the same day or the next day.
I'm currently waiting on the results of my 3rd MRI in 12 years, as my Sciatica is making me limp most days. The latest consultant has basically called me a liar to my face, twice, and said the sciatica could all be in my head.
Anyone who suffers Sciatica will tell you, there's no "imagining" the searing lightening that strikes down your leg and groin, taking your breath away and the inability and fear to put your foot back down.
My records indicate some 12+ years history of Sciatica, but of course this is all part of my diabolical 15 year, long-term, plan to scam to the dole office right! Argh!
I say I'm an emotionally strong person, but I've been strong for nearly 5 years now and I don't think I can be strong anymore. Seeing that decision letter has emotionally destroyed me. I have to battle the NHS to get treatment, always, and now I have to battle the DWP to get my diagnosed disabilities confirmed as a barrier to work. I don't know if I have the energy for these battles. If I didn't have my daughter to live for .. I can see why so many others just give up the ghost.
I already sent in two inches of medical records, I already know I'm telling the truth, I already know I'd voluntarily give up my left arm if I could trade it for over all improved health. I already know I'm doing everything I can ... I honestly don't know what more they want from me?
If you made it this far,
Thanks for listening.