To want my DH to experience my pain for just one day!

[sweetkitty]

I know this sounds awful but I do. Sometimes he really doesn’t have a clue, I am going through a bad fibromyalgia flare right now caused by stress. He always asks how sore I am “is it your normal pain or extra pain as you always say your in pain” or he will comments that the amount of painkillers I take daily can’t be good for me.

he goes to the gym daily sometimes twice a day and if he can’t go for like 2 days he gets grumpy

so Sunday was my birthday I was in agony I have a really painful shoulder thing going on, I asked him could he spend 5 mins massaging the knots in my shoulder blade to try to ease the pain, he said no as he was busy doing the ironing to help me. WTF he was ironing the DCs school clothes we take it week about it was his turn how was it helping me? The tears were running down my cheeks the ironing could have waited. He always moans about the amount I sleep and why do I have naps I I always feel tired afterwards anyway, he doesn’t understand that being in pain all the time drains you. I don’t sleep well at night like tonight I’m still awake as I often have to wait until I’m exhausted enough to sleep, he tells me to go to bed earlier.

so I would like him to either have a 2 day migraine and be totally floored or just be in pain for 2 days so knows what it feels like.

Acute pain and chronic pain aren't the same. So a day or two wouldn't install empathy. It's the endless slog he won't understand.

Being a carer is no walk in the daisies though.

I don’t think it’s something anyone can understand unless they’ve experienced the long daily grind of it. Solidarity OP. It’s tough.

He’s not a bloody carer though, I still work and do my fair share around the house, thanks to naps and painkillers

I hear you. When I try and explain I'm having a fibro pain day he asks where does it hurt and do i want the pain gel. It really works on his shoulder....wtaf? 20 years and he still doesn't get that its all over, even on my scalp. But pain gel will fix it. He has two tubes...

What painkillers are you on? Paracetamol or stronger? I cant seem to take anything stronger but some days its hell.

I have severe Rheumatoid Arthritis and I'm in a pretty bad way at the moment. Awake here eating painkillers like smarties. It's going to be a long night.

I think we'd all swap what we have for a two day migraine. Unless someone has chronic pain, they'll never understand it.

I'm 5 years in to it now and it's an exhausting slog.

I have Fibromyalgia & ME/CFS. I get fed up of people saying have you tried a couple of paracetamol for the pain? One of my mum's friends said why don't you get some of those exercise bands, do strengthening exercises & then a couple of miles walk every day, then I would feel better. They don't see that it takes me 2 hours from waking up to being up, washed, dressed, medication taken, I wake up like an old robot that has had every nut on it's joints tightened & then been left out in the rain to go rusty. They don't see the amount of painkillers I take every day, the carrier bag of drugs that is delivered every month. They never see the days when just trying to brush my hair can leave me in tears because of the pain & exhausted from the effort. Nobody except ds & my mum knows that sometimes every pain point in my body feels like it has been feeling like a combination of being branded & frozen by ice at the same time. Ds & my mum are the oyster ones who know how the brain fog & hopelessness makes me feel, I can't remember names, sometimes don't know what day it is, I feel worthless & since I had to give up my job how I feel that I have no self respect. But a couple of paracetamol, some exercise & a walk would make it all go away.

Thanks and sorry to everyone who suffers from chronic pain as well it truly is rotten. I had 4 hours sleep last night. DH woke me at 6am having a shower then left a tap running I didn’t get back to sleep. I’ve been to work today, came home at 4pm too tired to even eat went to bed napped on and off and got up at 7pm, going to have a shower in a bit then do some more work then bed.

Ive take 6 dihydrocodeine today, 6 paracetamol and 2 ibuprofen. As well as a citalopram (cos I could be depressed and the TMJD specialise says it could help), topiramate for my chronic migraines and then all my vitamins that are meant to help. Stopped the gabapentin/pregabalin/amitriptyline a while ago. Haven’t seen a GP for nearly 3 years. Live in constant fear of a 2 day migraine where I will be in bed unable to move, eat, drink or speak. I don’t understand why you can see the person you are supposed to live more than anyone else in the world crying in pain in the morning and not want to help them. Even just sit beside them and rub their back, I do that with the DCs just to say I’m here it breaks my heart when they are unwell.

I've just read your thread. I hope you are feeling better or at least better for you. I really struggled with topamax it made me very upset and angry. Not saying yours is doing that at all. I hate that others are in chronic pain x