Was I being a bit mean?

[Buddleja]

I've a good friend whose three lovely children, we tend to through out the year (not excessively but every now and again) buy stuff for each other's children if we see something that we know they'd really like. There is no expectation if something if brought by one of us for the other to get something in return any time soon

Anyway that's by the by I'm just saying that to show what sort of friendship we have. I was out at the begining of December finishing off my Christmas shopping (doing it early as I was going in to hospital for an op and knew I couldn't do it any later)

So I was pushed for time and I don't like shopping anyway so I called her and suggested we don't buy pressies for each others children this Christmas. I did so for the following reasons;

1. It was the last day I would be able to get anything and I wanted to go home
2. She's just had a baby and i figured she's better things to do than get my two something
3. I always feel slightly put out each Christmas because she make all the presents from Santa and they (the children) don't know that I went to an effort to find something they'd like

It's really the last one that's making me feel like I'm being mean because in all honest this was the one that made me give her a ring and say lets not bother.

Well I've wittered on for ages about this small matter haven't I!!! Wonder if any of you have actually bothered to read this far lol

Yes a bit mean.

You should give for the pleasure of giving and not for the thanks you might receive.

It sounds very sensible, and I assume you explained the first two reasons to her.

I don't understand this insistence on saying that all presents are from Father Christmas. I think it's rude for the children not to say thank you to someone who has bought a present for them - which they obv can't if they weren't told who they were from!

FC always brought the stocking in our house - the other presents were labelled from whoever stumped up the cash to pay for them!

Yes i told her the first two reasons - maybe i should mention the last one to her - I know it's something that bothers her in-laws too because she told me that they wouldn't buy her eldest a bike bike for Christmas because they wanted the bike to be from them not Santa, they gave it for her birthday (which is around Christmas)

I have to be honest part of the pleasure in giving is in actually giving them the presents and seeing the look of delight on their faces. You don't get that if it's being opened in a different house!! I say that I want a 'hey you're fab' more than a thank you. [egotistical smilie required]

I'm no St Nick!!!!

No you were very reasonable. I don't like children thinking all the presents are from Father Christmas. Father Chistmas only brings stocking stuff in our family.