Peel all root veg (potatoes, carrots, parsnips) and store in saucepans of water on stove.
Make the mashed swede (boil swede, mash with loads of butter and black pepper, this is reheated on the day).
Top and tail the sprouts and store in cold water.
Smear butter all over the turkey and put to store in the garage.
Boil giblets and make the gravy - juices from turkey to be added later.
Wrap bacon round sausages.
Make stuffing. Eat all of the stuffing stood up in kitchen whilst reading paper. Make more stuffing.
Make a batch of mince pies to put in the oven to cook Christmas morning (tradition to have mince pies and clotted cream for breakfast in this house).
Make a ham (boil in coke, cover with treacle, bake in oven) so we have cold in the fridge for nibbling at over Cjridtmas.
Make a vat mulled wine and drink the lot whilst doing teh above.
On the day: red cabbage with sultanas. Can't premake this (I have tried) as it goes blue strangely.
Cook turkey, par boil spuds and roast in duck fat. Cook parsnips in butter in oven.
Cook all veg - par boil sporuts and fry in wok with bacon bits.
4 pans on the stove (carrots, gravy, sprouts, red cabbage), swede in microwave, turkey taken out to rest and spuds, parsnips, sausages and stuffing in oven balanced precariously.
Served with cranberry (bottled).