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Christmas

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Original poster

blub..DD made me confess the big FC truth..

36 replies

iheartdusty · 09/12/2009 13:34

She has just turned 8. She looked me straight in the eye and demanded the truth. I prevaricated as long as I could, but eventually I had to admit that it was me who had crept in and put the stockings by their beds. Another little bit of magic gone.

boo hoo, why do they have to grow up?

OP posts:
gobsmackedetal · 09/12/2009 13:57

it doesn't sound so bad. you did very well if she believed in FC until 8.

I found out the truth from a kid at school when I was 5. Everyone in the class was very upset and refused to believe him. I duly beat him up. Went home very proud of myself and told my mum what had happened, expecting to be praised. Was told the truth, taken to the boy's house to apologise and had to apologise to the teacher the next day. Very traumatic as i thought I was being a hero!

It's a sad time though, isn't it? Was she upset?

pagwatch · 09/12/2009 13:59

Why do you do it. Does Santa not come to your house?

PlumBumandBaublesMum · 09/12/2009 14:00

Oh my dd is 8 and she hasn't even uttered the possibilty,
it would break my heart,
although she goes to a small school and in a small class who all still believe so hoping I'll get away with it for another year

Original poster
iheartdusty · 09/12/2009 14:00

not upset, really...just very disappointed.

She didn't really want to believe me either, she said if she heard rustling in her bedroom she would take a good long look, and plans to post her list off in secret as a sort of test!

poor you aged 5 - the world can seem very unfair sometimes

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 09/12/2009 14:01

they dont have to grow up.the magic never goes!go say you lied!now.

HugeBaublesWhatDidISayRoy · 09/12/2009 14:01

DS 9 still fully believes and long may that be.

devastated once the others found out, and they got to 11, so another couple years yet. Why take away the magic.

Original poster
iheartdusty · 09/12/2009 14:04

cheesesarnie

there's still the tooth fairy....

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 09/12/2009 14:07

exactly!i think dd aged 9 is growing out of the tooth fairy she lost a tooth yesterday and forgot to put it under her pillow!

Hassled · 09/12/2009 14:07

Oh I feel for you - my youngest is 7 and is already asking way too many questions. Like the fool that he is, Father Christmas bought him a motion detector last year, and this year DS3 says he's going to use it on Christmas Eve - I'm going to have to lose the motion detector between now and then .

newpup · 09/12/2009 14:11

Dd1 is 10 and still believes. She is in Year 6 and the class is split 50/50 in who believes.

I believe and I am 34!

TidyHollyBush · 09/12/2009 14:16

DD1 (15) the softest, most sensitive soul you could meet, sussed it out for herself aged 8 when said she wasn't bothered who brought the presents as long as she got still them

DD2 (12) the toughtest, most streetwise hardnut gothy type, who refuses to cry at anything, broke her heart this year when she looked me in the eye and asked if the tooth fairy and FC were really me and DH. It killed me to tell her the truth

Original poster
iheartdusty · 09/12/2009 14:19

tidy, that's sweet

pagwatch & newpup....long may you enjoy his visits!

OP posts:
Doyouthinktheysaurus · 09/12/2009 14:21

DS1 is 7. I can't bear the thought this may be the last Christmas he believes.

When he asked if the tooth fairy was real I just lied through my teeth

LilRedWG · 09/12/2009 14:22

DD is only three, so many years to go yet (hopefully). I plan on taking Susan Sto-Helit's approach (from Terry Pratchett's, "The Hogfather":

'Look at it this way, then,' she said, and took a deep mental breath. 'Wherever people are obtuse and absurd. . . and wherever they have, by even the most generous standards, the attention span of a small chicken in a hurricane and the investigative ability of a one-legged cockroach. . .and wherever people are inanely credulous, pathetically attached to the certainties of the nursery and, in general, have as much grasp of the realities of the physical universe as an oyster has of mountaineering, then yes, Twyla: there is a Hogfather.'

GrimmaTheNome · 09/12/2009 14:29

lil

I really don't get this insistence on kids needing to 'believe' in FC for xmas to be magic. (Any more than I think they need to believe in Jesus or God to appreciate the nativity story, come to that.)

SkipToMyLou · 09/12/2009 14:32

DD is 12 and hasn't asked me outright yet... we kind of fudged it a few years ago and said 'if you believe, he's real'. Which isn't lying, is it? And where's the harm?

Original poster
iheartdusty · 09/12/2009 14:35

agree with you, skiptomylou

OP posts:
MadameDuBain · 09/12/2009 14:37

Nor me Grimma, I don't get it - why insist it's true so determinedly that it then becomes a big deal to find out, and why the upset and disappointment when your 8/9!/12!-year-old no longer believes in what is obviously a lighthearted story? Just baffles me.

I'd be really starting to worry about DS's sense of curiosity if he still actually literally believed in FC at 8. He's 4 and already asking awkward questions and tbh I'm noncommittal, I say things like "well how do you think he does it?" and "Well that's all part of the story". Agree with Grimma - you don't have to actually think it's true to have a lot of fun with it. I think many, many children actually are ambivalent about it, knowing it must be nonsense but enjoying spinning it along. I certainly couldn't accept it as actual truth from about 4/5.

PlumBumandBaublesMum · 09/12/2009 14:39

Ahh Madame who stole your advent choccie this morning?

MadameDuBain · 09/12/2009 14:43

But, that's just it. If you're a bit about all this "they MUST believe or I'll be terribly upset" stuff you're accused of being a christmas killjoy. Far from it! I love all that FC fandango, glass of sherry, half-chewed carrots, sleigh bells, chimney-bothering flying sleigh whatnot and go along with it par excellence. Loved it as a child too. I just knew it was all bollocks! Doesn't have to spoil the fun.

nickelbabe · 09/12/2009 14:46

it comes with age: children might have an inkling it's all a scam, butthey don't want tpt risk not getting any presents, so they keep up the pretence in their own minds.

Play and pretend is a healthy part of learning and growing up.
i still believe in him! (no way am i risking not getting any presents!)

Original poster
iheartdusty · 09/12/2009 14:46

well perhaps a lot of it is self-indulgence, MadameDuBain - shiny eyed, wholly credulous little children who really, really believe in magical things are a delight, don't you think?

The sad bit is watching my DD realise as she grows that the world is not a fairy tale - it's a loss of innocence. There are plenty of things where we have fun with the belief - for example DD knows that I think horoscopes are just a fun idea. I've never insisted that Father Christmas is true - far from it - but it's still a big step to go from half-knowing to having it confirmed as 'just a fun idea'.

OP posts:
SkipToMyLou · 09/12/2009 14:49

As an aside, who else is tracking FC this year - DC loved it last year!

mice · 09/12/2009 14:53

I agree - Christmas is just as much fun now that my two don't believe a it was when they did!
To be honest - it is probably a lot better!! They don't get over excited - no having to hide everything, worry about using different wrapping paper, making sure you keep the same story year to year etc etc..
I would be amazed if any child gets 11/12 without really knowing the truth - there is too much on tv in books from friends etc etc. I would have to have told mine by the time they went to scondary school as I don't think it would have been fai to them!
But the magic is very much still there. Just because they know where their presents come from doesn't mean that there can't still be surprises - the magic is in spending time together, having fun, eating and drinking too much, giving and receiving presents - I can't wait!
and - my teenager still puts the mince pies, sherry and a carrot out on Christmas eve - and I still take reindeer like bites out of the carrot and make a father christmas like mess of the mince pie each year - whilst glugging the sherry just to make it look authentic (obviously!)
Ho ho ho!!

DoesntChristmasDragOn · 09/12/2009 14:54

DS1 is nearly 11 and has not yet confessed to not believing. This may be because I've always edged round the subject and, if asked if FC really brings the presents, said "He does if you believe in him".

I was expecting to have to take him to one side and explain but I think he was traumatised by finding out about the tooth fairy earlier in the year so he's keeping quiet.

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