Is it time to stop buying presents for siblings and in laws? And if so How???
I have a reasonably large extended family and several family members with birthdays at this time of year too.
We normally exchange presents with:
My sister's family (5 including kids),
My husband's brothers' families (6 including kids but soon to be more)
Parents (6 - including step parents
Some of the step brothers and their wives (4)
Plus 5 of these have birthdays around the same time.
After having bought them all "nice" gifts (i.e. found out what they would really like, and/or made an effort to find something I hope they will like (as opposed to something they will accept politely and then throw away or put in the loft and throw away when they next move house), I counted up the number and cost of these...
25 presents, at an average of £40 each (to get something nice as opposed to crap) = a whopping £1000. OK, the total actually came to around £800 as some of the pressies are cheaper/smaller but you see my point...
My justifying factors (to myself) about this huge cost are:
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We also recieve lovely presents from a fair proportion of these family members also (part of the reason i feel pressure to get them something really great is that they usually get us something great.)
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I would never not buy gifts for my sister, nieces, mum or dad as they (the adults) do a lot for me during the year and I do not grudge a nice gift at all. Therefore, i should do the same for my husband's family, just because there are a lot of them is not their fault.
The thing is I would be happy to forgo the gifts from my in-laws, or to set an expenditure cap, or to just exchange pressies for the kids, but I don't know how or when to broach the subject. (I have tried several times, but just end up feeling like the skint-flint of the family - which is NOT the case as generally i'm quite a generous person (albeit not a rich one) who hates waste and unecessary stress.
Has anyone else dealt with this scenario and if so what did you do about it (something or nothing)