Does anyone have families who actually choose presents for EACH OTHER any more?!?!

[Flame]

Every year people want lists of what to buy.

Just for once I don't want to come up with all the ideas. I had a small break last year as my dad & his wife wanted to choose what to get for the DC - I told them what type of things they liked and they bought - fabulous. This year though they want specifics "buy x, y, z". I am having enough problems with the specifics for my sister to get them, without them needing them too. Let alone what I am going to buy them.

Then they want to know what I want. yay for presents, but I don't know. I don't desperately need anything, and I don't want "stuff" for the sake of it, but I know if I say just go with the money I will spend it on bills.

I'm not selfless enough to say don't get me anything

Just occasionally I would like to feel like my family know me well enough to buy me and/or the children something as a surprise

I really have to go for the list for DD & DS because now they are students I really don't know what they already have.

I found DD's present much easier last year because she simply browsed clothes websites & used the 'send link to a friend' button to email me with details of everything she's like - I just selected some from the list & ordered online - dead easy.

I do tend to get surprises from my family - DS usually buys me history books, DD knows exactly what kind of jewellery I like and DH takes their advice....

What do we think about adults asking for money for Christmas and birthdays? SIL has just informed us we should give her cash (she's in her 40s...)
Seems Wrong to me.

What a relief to hear you talk about all the frustrations of buying gifts for not only your own family but from them to everyone else too. I personally have got to the barhumbug stage, so my family and friends who require an imagination packed list of reasonable but delightful presents suitable for me, my husband and my dc which I will no doubt purchase, wrap and, as you say, then formulate thank your's for - beware! You may get more than you bargained for!

I like the up to date wish list idea.

I was talking to my mum about this, and she says it started when we were teens a very specific about our wants (and my parents had split up so it was easier to give my dad a list), but she agrees it has all gotten a bit impersonal. As a result she is buying me a surprise and I am doing the same for her

hmm, it's really tricky. I know what you mean OP, it sort of takes the magic out of it. But then again, I always check with SIL what sort of thing her kids would like and then go and find something in that ball park. Whereas she never asks me and I just would so much rather give her a steer than get another hamper packed with jams and teas that we won't ever use. I know that's not in the spirit of it and I should just be grateful for the thought that's been put in but I just hate people spending money on something that I won't eat/use. I think asking for 'ideas' is one thing, having to spell out the exact product then pay for it and wrap it is a bit much.

BTW Katisha completely agree with you about the money for adults thing - seems all wrong to me

Well I have to buy about 10 presents for adults. I never have a clue what to get them so will ask for ideas. I don't want to spend money on unwanted gifts it's such a waste. In fact I wish that I could keep the money instead and spend it on things that DD needs rather than give to adults in the family who are all considerably more wealthy that I.

Another thing is that only a couple of people ask me what I want so I end up with very few presents and the ones I get are not useful. Gawd I hate this part of Christmas.

Got a nice surprise last year a coffee maker. It was broken and no-one bothered to take it back for me.

at adults asking for money

I don't like to go beyond mentioning to someone who always buys me clothes that I need pyjamas or am bored with my jumpers.

My bro always buys me music or books. Mostly hits, sometimes misses but I like to be introduced to artists and authors I didn't know.

no we all buy for our kids and count the monney as swapped = apart from ds3( as other families have two kids) who gets REALLY interesting presents