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Original poster

secret santa help - office bully!

26 replies

IREALLYDONTCARE · 17/11/2009 13:52

well we have had our annual secret santa draw and I've drawn the office bully! No one knows who has who, but I know if I asked anyone to swap no one would want to swap with me (even our boss is afraid of her).

What do I get her though? I don't want her to get a 'lovely' gift when she hasn't been 'lovely' towards me for years. My DH has suggested a mug or a badge with "I'm not the boss" or some other message to put her in her place...

Or the alternative is just not to get her anything, but the 'putting her in her place' gift is so very tempting!

I need some ideas! Help!

OP posts:
ComeONFabStopStressingSOMuch · 17/11/2009 13:53

Something fairly generic.

chocolates

smellies

etc etc

and go to hr and sort out her bullying.

Mumsnut · 17/11/2009 13:56

Is there a spending limit? Will she ever find out you were the giver or does it stop being secret at handoever?

henryhuggins · 17/11/2009 13:58

agree with comeone. just something non descript. you'd be not better 'putting her in her place' tbh

henryhuggins · 17/11/2009 13:58

no better

PerArduaAdNauseum · 17/11/2009 13:59

Tell us more about why she's a bully and the boss is afraid of her, and maybe we can come up with some more imaginative/subtle suggestions?

paranormalghostygoat · 17/11/2009 14:03

I got one of our bullys in the secret santa and wanted to buy a mug with 'You say I'm a Bitch like it's a bad thing!'

I've gone with generic mug instead.

Original poster
IREALLYDONTCARE · 17/11/2009 14:04

oh we have been to HR and were told to ignore it. People have left good jobs because of her.

She patronises, she nit picks, she calls people names in front of other people (including the boss), she accuses me of being lazy, cr*p at my job, skiving when I was in hospital in danger of losing my baby, rude to my DH down the phone (when phoning about hospital admittance), said nasty things about my elderly, not-got-much-longer, grandmother, I could go on but I'm going to cry in a minute...

OP posts:
greenday · 17/11/2009 14:04

My immediate thought was not to put anything, so she'd hopefully get the hint. But I guess she could bully her way into finding out who the secret santa is.

How about one of those plastic lump of poo? You know, one of those realistic looking things? And if she takes offence, you could plead innocence at thinking it was a funny gift idea and feign hurt that she has 'no sense of humour'. Both ways, she'd look bad, imo.

Ewe · 17/11/2009 14:07

TK Maxx have an office backstabber gift set thing? Like this.

Ewe · 17/11/2009 14:09

How about this badge and bumped sticker? Could pass it off as a joke?

Original poster
IREALLYDONTCARE · 17/11/2009 14:09

thank you for your ideas. It's really hard to know what to do.

OP posts:
PerArduaAdNauseum · 17/11/2009 14:10

Write it down and send it to HR again - this isn't acceptable behaviour, and if good people are leaving the company it's not good for the company to carry on ignoring it. Go to the HR person's boss. That is just awful.

And with that in mind, I'd get something like a plain (cheap) mug and she can bang on about someone being a skinflint. Or a mug and some ceramic paint. Or an empty picture frame.

Or you could go here and pick up something really special

Iklboo · 17/11/2009 14:10

A mix tape with appropriate songs

The Bitch Is Back
Creep
I Hate Everything About You
Nobody Likes Me

etc

Or just some generic non-present - tea towels, bath salts, chintzy ornament

lal123 · 17/11/2009 14:12

an umbrella. Someone once got the office cow an umbrella - not a nice umbrella, just a plain ordinary boring umbrella. It was without doubt the most crap secret santa present ever, but she had to smile (grimace?) sweetly and say thanks

PerArduaAdNauseum · 17/11/2009 14:12

If you give her anything that says 'bitch' she'll probably run straight to HR herself, and really muddy the waters.

Get to HR now! That's an order! (but in a friendly non-bullying style, obv)

BornToFolk · 17/11/2009 14:13

Get something really boring and generic, like a box of Roses or a bottle of bubble bath.

Talk to HR again. Can you escalate the issue (i.e talk to head of local HR, or HR at head office if you have one)? It's not good enough to say ignore it.

DaftApeth · 17/11/2009 14:15

Yet again this seems an appropriate suggestion

Or a tube of Impulse spray to make her paranoid

I'd start keeping a record of evreything she does and presevere with HR. Poor you

ConnorTraceptive · 17/11/2009 14:17

I like lal123 suggestion actually, get something so dull and everyday, but completely innoffensive. Like a pack of plain black socks or a spiral notepad and pack of biro's!!!

Ewe · 17/11/2009 14:17

Or something that came as a free gift with some other presents you are buying for Christmas, that way you'll know you haven't actually spent a penny on the cow her.

Maybe something she might not like, some unique sweets? They do a Christmas kebab in TK Maxx (can you tell I went there this morning!? )

piprabbit · 17/11/2009 14:17

A rattle for her to throw out of her pram?

clam · 17/11/2009 14:17

How about this:

A dull gift will show her that she's not been worth the effort of thought and care.

Lotkinsgonecurly · 17/11/2009 14:18

Some thing that is really plain, boring and dull so it won't get her any attention when they are opening as alot of bullies are attention seekers and love the drama they cause.

How about just normal chocolate not expensive ones and most people would be happy with those. It's so generic she'll have no idea who gave it too her.

Of course...up to you if you put laxatives in the middle of them

Seriously, get some of you together in the office to make a formal complaint and HR will have to take it seriously.

Best of luck

crokky · 17/11/2009 14:20

Either get her a box of chocolates or some cheap smellies.

Don't sink to her level. I used to work with someone like this - she was horrible to people, had adults in tears, had people resigning from their jobs because of her bullying. Strangely, this individual was not aware of the extent of suffering she was causing others. There came a time when someone from our department was going to spend a year abroad with work (very good opportunity). The senior staff had to nominate who it was and she won by miles. The reason she won was that people wanted her gone for the year, not because she was good at her job. So we were rid of her and it was excellent!

Hullygully · 17/11/2009 14:20

Some really horrible notelets.

OllieWollieWoo · 17/11/2009 16:33

Be careful cos in all the secret santas I have done in the past, people (including me)would always work out who had given what and it didnt always go down very well - esp the year that the office cow gave me ear plugs which she said had to be given out to the rest of the office has I was too chatty! (may have been true but still not nice to open in front of everyone and smile etc ) I got the last laugh as someone else got her a lacy thong and she was furious that someone would think she would wear such a thing! She went on and on about well into February!
Like the notelets idea Hullygully!