the ANTI christmas traditions thread

[InterruptingKid]

we always find me doign LEgo alone when the kids have fecked off and got bored

Ah IK you will be joining in the stocking-filler threads before long!

our traditions:

disappointed relatives begging DD to open their present when the poor bemused toddler just wants to be allowed to play with the new toy in her hands right now.

Everyone jostling to be in the "going out for a walk with the DC" party, and not the "washing up and failing to entertain DH's miserablist grandma" party.

Rofl, rofl, Slubber

I am stepping away from the sprouts.

Darrell we had one of those too. It was the year I decided I was a vegetarian. Mum made a special nut roast. It slid off the shelf in the oven, into the gas and set itself alight.

Why does everyone go for a stroll after their Christmas Dinner too? For some it's the only exercise they do all year.

Now she has an aga, we just find some roast potatoes piles of ash at the back on New Years Eve which have been there since christmas day

any xmas where Benylin is involved will be a diaster

(MUM 1983)

your sister will be hacked off

any sister any family, where there are two girls there is a hoo ha

and of course YOU will revert to being an 18 yearold grump who seems to have found three kids somewhere

Christmas at the in-laws (don't do it any more...) involves copious amounts of alcohol before dinner which turns into a vicious circle whereby MIL people haven't eaten so get more sozzled, so the dinner still doesn't appear, ad infinitum...

lol, so true on the sister front. weirdly, i see my sister several times a week, we eat at each other's house loooooaaads, but on christmas day in my kitchen she gets right on my tits.

See that's why we have Christmas on our own now (and the drunk MIL) - makes it all far less stressful

I am starting my own tradition this year - we are going to stay in a hotel in Holland and visit De Efteling on Xmas day. No stress, no family, no cooking. DD will get her pressies from St Nicolas (6th December).

The last time we did Xmas at home, I spent all morning getting tiddled cooking, DH was on the PC and DD watched TV. It was very dull. We haven't got enough time off to go back to Blighty and I refused to do it again.

Your mother will martyr around the kitchen calling things like "I think I might need some help - oh, no, I can do it by myself, thank yu. Would you stir the gravy, Colditz? No, not like that, who taught you to stir gravy like that? Colditz'sBrother, sit down, it's Christmas day, you should be relaxing. Colditz'sSister, will you get in here and wash up, it's Christmas day, you should be helping me. Colditz, is that gravy even fit for consumption? Colditz? Honestly, I don't know why she feels the need to bring those children everywhere - it's Christmas Day, it's supposed to be about family!"

Slubber, I do the sprouts thing - did it one year and now dh wants me to do it every year - he is the only one that likes them. The chestnuts & pancetta are quite nice on their own without the sprouts...

We are currently having our annual pre-Christmas 'How the f*ck is MIL going to get there when they cancel half the fucking trains in the weeks beforehand which means she has to come by some bizarre route with no customer assistance at key points' exchange of phone calls.

On Boxing Day instead of board games the grandparents will play 'I was poorer than you'. My mother will avoid playing her trump card, which is that she didn't have a bathroom, but everyone except MIL will remember it so MIL will think she has won with her accounts of nothing but bread-and-scrape to eat for weeks, but really she will have lost.

Then harmony will be restored with a jolly round of 'What did you call crumpets and bread rolls when you were a child?' ('We called them pikelets' 'Oh, pikelets was posh' etc).

Pikelets are diffo

don't bother with the new pjs

oh ffs that fuckign new pjs shiteola

I still don't get that.

Our newest (4yrs approx) tradition is for DH to have to drive 20 miles to pick up MIL at about 1 o'clock as she has to go to the 11am service (as well as Midnight Mass and the 8am one) and then stay to shake hands and proffer mince pies afterwards. So we eat later than we would prefer. And then when dad offers to give her a lift home she declines as she is going to stay over and 'help' us clear up The only thing she 'clears up' is cold turkey sarnies and scotch. And then she has to sleep on the sofa because she can't get in any of the kids' cabins beds/bunks.

Drives me mad! But there we are...'tis tradition innit.

lolol at colditz and kathy.

we have the traidtion of mum buttering up SIl telling her how fab she is compared to ehr own daughters
she is fab btu we dont have to be crap as a result!

I so agree about having a row with your sister. My sister and I always fall out and one of us flounces off slamming the door and the other one stays behind and becomes saintly helpful daughter, filling up the teapot and handing round the stollen.

We take it in turns.

I threw cake at my sister once.

oh that is bad. Really? Cake thrown in anger on christmas day is a whole lot of black marks to make up, surely?

Was it the same Benylin Christmas?