Apologies for huge post!
My relatives are all very close, I have a tear in my eye thinking of our christmases.
Bear in mind that the 'children' mentioned here are my baby brother (20), myself (29) and my DH (40)...
The Sunday before Christmas, all family members must gather together and watch Home Alone and Home Alone 2.
Christmas Eve:
Collect darling Granny and take her to parents' house, with many presents.
Carol concert at church.
Chinese takeaway, accompanied by cheesy christmas tunes and mulled wine.
Various uncles, aunts and cousins pop in to swap presents and have a singsong.
Everyone is allowed to open one present from a family member.
Bed early for 'children' while adults do the Santa prep.
Christmas Morning:
It is customary for one adult to run around all bedrooms yelping 'SANTA'S BEEN!' and for all adults to thunder downstairs. 'Children' follow, normally slightly hungover.
All Santa presents are on the sofa - one 'seat' each for me, my brother, and DH. Santa presents at this age! Not about monetary value, but huge fun!
We tear into them while 'adults' (mum, stepdad, gran) watch and breakfast on bucks fizz, coffee, and croissants. Then they open presents and we eat breakfast there with them, and we open our family gifts too and do all the usual thanking.
My stepfather cooks the amazing Christmas lunch - while this is happening, we make phonecalls to all friends and relatives to wish them all the best and thank them for our gifts. Christmas 2007 was DH's first experience of our christmas - when he called his own mother, she would not speak to him as she was too drunk and (quote) 'hates him'.
We eat early at 1pm and go for an afternoon stroll. At 5ish, uncles and cousins come around to nick any sweets or leftovers, claiming they are there to celebrate with Gran.
At about 8pm, we all cosy up in front of the sofa and watch terrible television (soaps, kids films) while eating trifle and drinking champagne. The evening disappears in a boozy haze.
Boxing day, the whole family (10 uncles, their wives and many children) come over and hang out. This is good because it the atmosphere is so chaotic that mum and I can slip out alone. We escape to our neighbouring city, which is really quiet on boxing day, and we traditionally spend the day just the two of us, catching up and having laughs. It's always so special. Then back to the mayhem for a huge meal with the entire family.
Except not any more. Now, we'll do a mini 'fake' Christmas the week before. Now myself and DP will go abroad for christmas and new year. Because my MIL is a complete lunatic.
Christmas 2008, we stayed at home (five hours away from my parents) because DP was very ill. MIL was at her sister's place (eight hours from our home) and caused absolute misery to all involved. She broke all the bottles of wine deliberately, screamed and swore at everyone and OPENED PRESENTS BELONGING TO THE CHILDREN. Simply because 'no one was paying her any attention' and 'Vivia and my son are not here!'. She called us drunk at 8am and swore at her very ill son and called me a bitch for 'stealing my son last christmas and now this year!' - we had told her we would do alternative years with her and my mother because they both live so far away. Now we feel that it is easier to escape than be under the horrible pressure. In her fury, she punched FIL in the face. And broke her own arm in the process.
I feel heartsick at giving up our ridiculous, over-the-top, child-like family christmas to pander to this absolute disgrace of a woman. But the worry makes my DH so sad. My mum loves him like a son and would rather see us just before christmas and recreate the scene, rather than be subjected to MIL's hell.