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Christmas

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Original poster

How do I explain to Ds1 that a nintendo Ds simply is not going to happen this year?

46 replies

colditz · 27/09/2009 23:24

he has his heart absolutely set on one, cannot think of anything else he would rather have - I just CANNOT afford it. He had a WII for his birthday, it was a joint present with his brother.

A) I don't know how to fit the idea of not having a ds for Christmas into his 6 year old head
B) I don't know what to get a child who quite clearly wants something else

OP posts:

TheLadyEvenstar · 28/09/2009 00:19

Colditz did you see my links?

Also will ask my brother as I know he has one he is thinking of selling.

Will also ask around locally as I know a lot of people with original ones who have upgraded theirs /the dc's for a ds lite...

Original poster

colditz · 28/09/2009 00:22

TLE, that's really kind of you but the money isn't the only issue ... I really do feel that yet more screen time would not be good for him.

He's only six, he plays the computer, plays the Wii and watches a fair amount of TV - if he has a ds too, I'm not sure I am organised enough to police it properly.

Maybe next year.

OP posts:

TheLadyEvenstar · 28/09/2009 00:26

Colditz no worries, I am with you on that one!
DS1 is 11 and when he was 5 he got his PS1 he was allowed to play it for 3 hours a week. He was 10 when he got his PS2 and 11 when we got the Wii he has probably used it 6 times since July.....but then he is too busy with lego all of a sudden lol or books.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 28/09/2009 00:28

The Christmas before last DD3 really wanted a DS. She didn't get one - we can't do big Christmas presents as there are three of them. I was quite nervous on Christmas morning, but she was so pleased with her presents she didn't even remember or notice that she hadn't got a DS. Her main present was a box of Magnetix which cost about £20 and nearly two years later she still plays with it loads.

MrsMerryHenry · 28/09/2009 00:41

""You can have it if you can starve" - why would you do that? Seriously, isn't that just going to trigger an eating disorder?" - err, no. That's not how eating disorders start. Not by a long shot. And besides, as I said I didn't think it would last past an hour.

The point of that exercise, which I think should have been clear, is that you can teach him to understand how money works and about prioritising essentials. Its an essential life lesson for him to learn. It's equally important for him to learn what greed is and how it affects us. He will imbibe your values, anyway, whatever it is that he wants and however much he begs. Parents who give their children everything typically raise children who value having everything. Parents who don't give their children everything typically raise children who value more profound things than owning stuff.

TheLadyEvenstar · 28/09/2009 00:45

I don't know I agree with that method of teaching the value of money Mrs....
I am sure there are better/easier way,,,,

I taught ds1 by giving him £5 when he had asked for something I couldn't afford and asking him to go and buy dinner..he was around 6 at the time.

By the time he had picked up the meat he wanted and veg and other bits, i then gave him a calculator and made him add it all up...he realised then that money did not go far.

MrsMerryHenry · 28/09/2009 00:47

Well, it was a bit extreme, but only because colditz seems to be saying that nothing is working...!

I like your method - I'm all for giving kids more responsibility so they can better understand the decisions we make.

TheLadyEvenstar · 28/09/2009 00:49

I will do it again when ds2 reaches the age of want want want but he is only 2 atm lol and all he wants is deptoe (steptoe and son)

nooka · 28/09/2009 01:11

I would just say no, I am not buying you a DS. Six is too young in any case, we got DS's for the children because of going on a very long plane journey, but it really wasn't until they were reading well that they found enough games they enjoyed playing to justify the cost. Christmas is a way off, so just say a very firm no now, then don't mention Christmas presents for two or three months, and then start thinking about Christmas presents again. As he's only just got a Wii, and given the cost of games for that I think a couple of Wii games would be a good present.

nappyaddict · 28/09/2009 01:22

MrsMerryHenry Whilst I agree a 6 year old should be able to understand that concept there is no way most 2 year olds would understand that, so you are very lucky

I would say to him you already have a wii and a computer so mummy doesn't want you to have a ds aswell because you don't need one.

Saying you can't afford it would depend on how Santa works in your house. I know some people say they send the money to Santa to make the toys and some people say they buy the presents and then Santa just delivers them so it would work then but not otherwise.

Flamesparrow · 28/09/2009 08:11

Colditz - some tosser told DD that if she saved we would be able to go to Disneyland (think it must have been someone at school)... poor kid is squirrelling tooth fairy money

I have always been very honest with my DC about the price of things - I know some of my friends think I am too honest, but we are at the stage now of they accept that "we don't have enough pennies" means that it ain't gonna happen

w/r the whole another console issue though - is it your DS who is being looked into ASD issues? I have found that the DS creates a sort of calming bubble for DD, so if the money magically appears, don't write it off purely for that iyswim.

Not that much of that helps you. My heart breaks with every advert for f*ckin disneyland.

ChasingSquirrels · 28/09/2009 08:17

I guess just keep reinforcing.
ds1 was 7 last week and said to me at the beginning of the week "I would really like a ds, but they are expensive aren't they".
Actually we could afford one, but we have a Wii, he used a PS2 at his dad's and he uses the PC. I don't want him having a ds - he is slightly obsessive about computers and a portable one wouldn't be good.
I said that they were quite expensive but more importantly I thought he was too young.
To be told that his dad's girlfriends dd (who has just turned 6) has one - which was brought by "her mum and my daddy".
Ho hum!

Starbear · 28/09/2009 13:02

When I was younger my Mum had a store card to pay for Christmas at 26.5 % APR. I remember this figure clearly. This made her very heavily in debt. This gave her nightmares for two years. The debt made me feel poor. Hold tight. Because of various debt problems when I was younger(& gambling of my Dad) I constantly remind Ds how lucky he is. Do harvest festival, good time to remind him that other children have less. Have a one off Thanks giving meal. I also give things & buy things in charity shops with him. We also put experiences above things.
Sunday walk in the country side lifts the spirits (sorry, have I come across Born again)
Debt is a scary,scary thing. I hated watching the TV being taken away by bailiffs.

DoNotPressTheRedButton · 28/09/2009 14:09

Colditz how about an alternative?

The problem with the Wii IMO is the cost of games- how about (something we did) for a main rpesent you get membership of the gamnes section of lovefilm (about a tenner a month, they get the game for as long as they want then return for a replacement)

My lot love it and it's easier to budget for IYSWIM

DoNotPressTheRedButton · 28/09/2009 14:11

Oh and FS has a pointa bout some asd kids but DS3 is the opposite- he retreats completely into his own world when allowed near a DS)- very useful for managing stressful events though.

For those short of cash and with ASD kids, do you know about the Cerebra toy library? Free to borrow books and toys.

Fizzylemonade · 28/09/2009 15:15

Colditz - my ds1 is in yr2 and there is huge peer pressure this year to get a DS as it seems (and I have checked) that most children in my son's class got a ds either last Christmas or for their birthday

My friend bought her son one for his birthday but hadn't agreed on any games so he only has Brain Training and Maths at her insistance. But they don't have a wii.

We got a Wii last Christmas for the family and it is used still a lot by ds1 and I use the Wii fit and Disney Sing it

We are getting him a DSi but he is limited to one game and it will be Brain Training.

If you do have a Game shop near you, you can get pre-owned games too. So maybe the compromise would be some new games for the Wii.

I agree about the screen time thing, ds1 gets screen time for doing his homework without moaning, this includes reading his books and his maths. He gets to play every other day as the Wii takes up our only TV. My worry about the DSi is the whole take it anywhere aspect

ChasingSquirrels · 28/09/2009 15:55

Fizzy - that is my concern with the ds. I know what my ds1 is like re computers, and he would be trying to play it in his room when I didn't know etc. I would rather not have one, thereby having more control as computer use is limited to the PC or the Wii which are in central areas and easily observable.

tootiredtothink · 28/09/2009 19:21

Colditz - if you're happy to let ds have one under supervision then I have an old type ds console I will happily post on to you?

I'll have to dig out the charger though so may take a day or three .

Email me on mail4lwhite @ yahoo . co . uk

tootiredtothink · 28/09/2009 20:17

Oh bugger - it's our wedding anniversary and dh is making me turn off computer .

Colditz, please do e-mail - I'll reply tomorrow.

DoNotPressTheRedButton · 29/09/2009 09:38

'is limited to the PC or the Wii which are in central areas and easily observable. '

Are you mad woman?

between MN and Dh'scarnival forum,there ain't no way the boys are getting near the PC!

ChasingSquirrels · 29/09/2009 16:33

lol - ah but I said the PC, that's for family use - obviously my laptop is all mine....
(and ex-H left, so he doesn't count).

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