Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Christmas

From present ideas to party food, find all your Christmas inspiration here.

Original poster

Anyone else fed up cos they've got no family to see over the festive period?

27 replies

ssd · 01/01/2009 20:17

my family are all living hundreds of miles away, dh's the same

everyone I know spends time with their in laws/siblings etc. this time of year and I'm fed up its just us 4 as usual, I'd love some cousins for the boys to see/visit/play with but we've none

we've really lucked out family wise

OP posts:
Original poster
ssd · 01/01/2009 20:17

and please don't say "go and see your friends" - they're all with their families

OP posts:
dramaqueen · 01/01/2009 20:21

We have no family near by, so I sympathise with you. We did have a lovely christmas day, though, just the four of us. It was the first time on our own and I really enjoyed the laid back day. I am lucky in as much as a few friends have no family near by also, so we spent boxing day with one of them.

We did do some travelling to see my family (150 miles) after Christmas. How far away are your and dh's family?

Original poster
ssd · 01/01/2009 20:24

they are about 400 plus miles away

we don't know anyone else in our position and that makes it feel worse!

OP posts:
dramaqueen · 01/01/2009 20:29

It has taken us 5 years to find others in our position! I do find it hard when the dc's friends say they can't play because they are going to Auntie so-and-so's or having their cousins over.

400 miles is a bl**dy long way. I don't have the answer, I'm sorry. I wonder sometimes whether we should move nearer to family so that the kid can have this sort of upbringing.

Original poster
ssd · 01/01/2009 20:29

actually wish I hadn't started this thread, knowing there are so few folks like us makes me even more miserable

is everyone in the world sitting out there with their large extended families having a lovely new years day? or does it just feel like it?

OP posts:
Original poster
ssd · 01/01/2009 20:31

sorry dramaqueen, don't mean to be all miserable to you!

OP posts:
FeelingOld · 01/01/2009 20:36

Nope, quiet day here too. I am a single mum although i do have a partner but he lives 40 miles away and had to work over xmas and new year. I live in the same village as my elderly parents but my brother/nieces live 150 miles away.
And like you say friends are all with their families.
Guess we just have to make the most of what we have really, its not easy I know.

dramaqueen · 01/01/2009 20:37

Don't be daft, you can't help how you feel. I am sure that there are many people like us. Someone said to me last week how lucky I was not having to put up with great Auntie Doris etc over Christmas. I know they meant well but I would give alot to have a large family around. I hope my (2) dc have loads of children and live near each other when they grow up.

UnfortunatelyMe · 01/01/2009 20:37

It just feels like it, I have family, but we arent together today and normally its enforced time.

wintersapproaching · 01/01/2009 20:49

we're very similar, my family is 450 miles away and DH isnt in contact with his family. We enjoyed a quiet Christmas but went to friends house last night which was fabulous to get out and socialise!

SummerNights · 01/01/2009 20:51

I love spending time with my friends over Xmas / new year - I suppose because we have a relatively small extended family. The kids get fed up with Granny after a few hours days and stir crazy with each other.

So far we have seen 3 lots of friends, one on Bopxing day, one on 28th and one yesterday and are joining others for a New year dinner and sleepover for dd tomorrow.

Please ring your friends / children's friends - I am sure they would love to see you!

Original poster
ssd · 02/01/2009 11:20

But most of my close friends that I'd want to see are all spending the time with their siblings

TBH I've got lots of school gate friends but I don't want to spend the holidays with them, that sounds very off, but I've moved to this area and my real friends don't live here, they live a bit away and they are seeing their families anyway

OP posts:
FleurDelacour · 02/01/2009 13:10

My family (and DH's) are 12000km away. It is just the four of us. But that's fine- we are enjoying the lack of pressure to drive hundreds of miles around the country at Christmas to see everyone. We can do exactly what we want . Bliss.

Fimbo · 02/01/2009 13:14

I am in the same position SSD. We live in the east of England whilst both our families/friends live in the north of Scotland. Far too far to travel over Christmas.

Most people we know are with their families.

There are only so many times you can go shopping our out for a walk too. .

Where I live everything is geared up for the summer months and there is nothing really to do in the winter months (even both the local bowling alleys have closed).

I am bored and so are my dc. They are actually looking forward to going back to school on Monday

rainbowbadger · 02/01/2009 18:02

I really think you would surprised how the offer of nibbles and a glass or two of wine one evening would tempt another mum with kids the same age as your kids from school. Even if you don't meet up actually on Xmas Day / New Years Eve etc and its in the middle of the week you would still have a good time while the kids play / make Xmas decorations / watch a video etc? Put some feelers out next time you are talking to one of your childrens mums when they are back to school. Hope this doesn't sound patronising and sorry in advance if you have already tried this but I was know exactly what you mean about being lonely, I'm not particularly a extrovert character but found it worked for me.

Original poster
ssd · 02/01/2009 19:32

thanks for all replies

we never entertain at home as our living room is tiny, I mean there is no room for guests

once us 4 sit down there are no seats left and no space to draft some in! I wouldn't invite someone over and ask them to squeeze up on the couch!

my kids share a tiny room too, so if other kids came over god knows where they'd go!

I know I sound very negative, I'm just being honest, this house is tiny, there's no room for entertaining

when family fron far away do come round I don't mind them squeezing in or the kids sitting on the floor, but I wouldn't invite friends that I'm not that close to to do that

OP posts:
saggyhairyarse · 02/01/2009 19:38

I have a SIL who has 2DC and they only live half an hour away but they aren't bothered about spending Xmas or NY with us. 2 years running we had them over for NYD lunch and this year we were snubbed, we didn't invite them as we thought they might invite us and they made other arrangements. Shan't bother again.

My kids haven't missed out because they have had friends stay over, we've met up with other friends and we've taken them out.

I actually would be all for an extended family Xmas but we've got a normal house/furniture and the ILs expect everyone to be seated at the dining table and seem a bit off if we suggest kids in the lounge with trays or vice versa adults.

blackmonday · 02/01/2009 19:43

i feel the same. Only have one sister, hudreds of miles away, no other family at all. it's always me, dh and dcs at christmas and thats it. It makes me sad every single year, especially when my ds friends extended family come to watch christmas school plays and we have to go to all 3 performances as there's no-one else to go! I'd love to have a big family and for my children to have lots of people around them. I always feel like the only one too!

Original poster
ssd · 02/01/2009 20:19

shit isn't it

OP posts:
Acinonyx · 04/01/2009 10:15

Same here. No family on this continent and ALL friends with family over the holiday - mostly out of town. Our soical life packs up for the week over Xmas - but we did see friends who came back over NY. We just moved here in June so our friends are not so local.

It's the 3 of us - me, dh and dd. I SO wish there were other kids for her to play with(she doesn't play on her own at all...) over the holiday - and we wouldn't mind some company either. We have an enforced 10 day break as I work from home and dh's office closes down completely.

We're wondering what we can do to improve the situation next year. I don't want to go to dh's family in the US in the middle of winter - we'd rather go in the summer when the weather is better.

Dd starts school next year and I'm hoping she can at least see school friends over the holiday. It's just so....quiet!

Karamazov · 04/01/2009 17:02

My DDs are the only children in our family - I have a bro, but he has no kids and my folks, but that doesn't last all Christmas. So we see friends. Obviously, not on Christmas day or any of the other major days, but we do get the children together for a play whilst we drink wine!

TBH, I think that is the best solution. I know you say your house is small, but providing the children can play upstairs, you can cuddle up - and friends won't mind honest! We have a few friends with just one sofa, so nowhere else for guests to sit, and a few of them have big comfy cushions that the hosts sit on when guests come over (although I'll happily sit on them too). Set up some toys in the dining room and that will keep the kids out of the way. If space is really tight, then do it mid afternoon and take a walk out to feed the ducks park etc, or if the kids are older then do something later in the evening and play a family game which will keep them under control a bit more. Honestly, it really doesn't matter how small your house is, where there's a will, there's a way. real friends won't matter about the siez of your house, and tbh sometimes it is just nice to get the kids out of your hair for a couple of hours.

Or what about going to the Panto with friends? Or meeting up with them at a pub with soft play in or something?

HTH

Original poster
ssd · 04/01/2009 21:04

Kara, I dream of a dining room!

OP posts:
crazedupmom · 05/01/2009 09:58

ssd I do have family to see but there is not a single child amongst them at all.
So whenever we visit family my ds is bored wanting to go home.
He is an only and this is one area that has always bothered me I would dearly love to have family which also come with a ready set of play friends.
I sympathise with you.
Unless I go out of my way to have school freinds over my ds would never see another child.

MarmadukeScarlet · 05/01/2009 10:04

I fear I may offend, but you DO have family that you could see over the festive period - it is just logistically difficult or expensive to do so.

There are those who have no family left, myself included, I would be happy to drive 400m or stay in a hotel to be given the opportunity to see my parents or sibling again.

My brother died when I was 19, my father when I was 23 and my mother when I was 28.

kando · 05/01/2009 10:22

Wow Marmaduke. That puts things in perspective . I was about to come on and moan about being in the same situation, but I'm thankful they are all still around, no matter how far away they are.

Swipe left for the next trending thread