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Christmas

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Funny Christmas disasters

25 replies

skrimbo · 28/12/2008 23:53

Go on cheer me up tell me what horribly wrong... please .

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skrimbo · 29/12/2008 00:03

Surely someone has poured gravy in MIL's lap or something. I managed to go away for 3 days and leave the iron plugged in, not amusing I know.

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kid · 29/12/2008 00:16

Exploding chestnuts!
DH wanted to cook them this year instead of buying them frozen. Fair enough, but it didn't tell you in the cooking instructions that after 15 minutes they will expolde.

Do you have any idea how much mess they make?!

ChasingSquirrels · 29/12/2008 00:18

elec at parents house surged late xmas eve, men outside at 2am, then men digging outside at 5am. no electricity, no heat - they decamped to my house with xmas in a box!
Come boking day someone came round and took away 20 items that were damaged - they got about half of it back fixed today.
Not really very funny though!

ChasingSquirrels · 29/12/2008 00:18

BOXING day!

skrimbo · 29/12/2008 00:24

Boaking day could be more accurate.

Anymore tales of woah or humourous ones .

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Pawslikepaddington · 29/12/2008 00:29

I got set up with someone on xmas eve and he spent the whole three hours talking about his sexy girlfriend-cringeworthy but funny as he didn't realise he had been set up on a date (LONG story!). DD saw 8 people's worth of presents under the tree at 8am on xmas morning, said "woooooooah" and walked out and refused to return until 4pm! I wanted to open my presents

skrimbo · 29/12/2008 00:51

We have had some terrible diasters, but I held back as they wern't funny.

We had a Christmas day when everyone was sick, DS opened his presents while holding a sick bucket and DD couldn't be bothered, me and MIL had a lovely trip to the emergency chemist which thank goodnes was a big branch of Boots, so we got hand wash, spare pants, pull ups, nappis, wipes, change mats etc etc etc.

One Christmas eve after church DD fell of the church wall and split her head open, cue A&E

Another Christmas morning DD fell down the stairs, suspected broken ribs, A&E again.

Last year I covered newly exedH in boiling goosefat, well it was only splatters [oops]

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wangle99 · 29/12/2008 10:38

This wasn't funny at the time on Christmas Day but is funny now lol

We live next door to MIL, just started cooking turkey, MIL comes running in her oven is broken - can I cook her dinner too (bear in mind had just had conversation with my Mum about how didn't think our dinner would fit!!!).

Managed to do it, cooking veg on our hob when hey presto the fuse goes argh DH manages to sort it luckily and we all ate - albeit a bit late!

Fivesetsofschoolfees · 29/12/2008 10:41

DH broke our living room light when playing with the Wii. It could have been very serious (it was one of those plate glass saucer-shaped lights which broke in several large pieces landing on his head and shoulders).

M44 · 29/12/2008 10:59

Sat quietly, after all the children had gone to bed on Boxing Day- when we hear a great crash of the potential burglar type smashing window.......

Middle shelf of kitchen cupboard failed spewing mugs and jugs all over our tiled floor- big mess! Had to laugh really!

Yesterday, our Victorian drain failed and we are now facing major drainage works in the coming weeks. The main bit that has gone wrong is underneath the concrete garage floor! Dh has to re do part of the circular patio he lovingly made a while ago....

but at least the children are well and there have been no trips to A&E (yet!)

Siriusmewisathreadkillertoo · 29/12/2008 11:05

Had a boxing day party and DP tried putting DS1 to bed as he was acting up. DS1 jumped out of DPs arms and crashed to the floor. Was ok but my Dad went beserk shouting about how DP had dropped him cause he was pissed. SOOO wasn't but it was so awfully embarassing having dad and DP shouting at each other. People were walking out and DS1 was walking around proudly saying "Did you see me fly? I jumped and flew through the air!!" . Not really too funny now but has potential in a few years!

PestoHoHoHoMonster · 29/12/2008 11:42

Fivesetsofschoolfees DH did the same
A rather vigorous serve on Wii tennis and smashed the glass light fitting in the living room
It was lucky it was him and none of us, or we would never have heard the last of it.

skramblenotdieting · 29/12/2008 23:22

LOL I wonder how many wii related breakages there will be by the 1st.

sunnygirl1412 · 30/12/2008 08:08

It wasn't this year, but a few years ago, I had a disastrous Christmas Day.

We'd told the boys, who were then about 10, 8 and 6, that they could come in and wake us up at 7.30am, and not a moment earlier, and then we'd go downstairs to see if Father Christmas had been (we leave stockings in the front room). Sure enough, at 7.30am on the dot, in troop the ds's, and ds1 says, "Good morning mummy, good morning daddy and a merry christmas to you both - oh, and I've been sick three times!!!" Poor lamb hadn't realised that this would have counted as a jolly good reason to wake us early!

Anyhow - he'd clearly got some sort of a tummy bug, and spent the rest of the day feeling poorly, being sick, having a nap and then wanting to try eating something and being sick again. Dh took the younger two to church and left me at home caring for ds1 and looking after the preparations for christmas dinner, which we were going to have at 6pm that year.

By the time dh and the boys got back from church, dh was starting to feel a bit off too, but soldiered on through the day. Ds1 revived for long enough to open his presents, then fell asleep again.

What with caring for a poorly boy and cooking roast goose with all the trimmings, I didn't keep a very good eye on ds2 and ds3, who spent all day mainlining chocolate, and by the time I served supper, they were full to the gunnels and couldn't eat anything, dh was feeling delicate in the tummy because of the impending bug, so heroically tasted his dinner but couldn't eat it, so I was the only one who ate Christmas dinner that year.

I said at the time that I could have saved myself all that work and just had a Goose McNugget meal instead!!!

Flyonthewindscreen · 30/12/2008 17:01

DS (6) pinched his willy in a pair of nutcrackers on boxing day morning (no major injury sustained ), he was in pyjamas, trying to crack a walnut for DD and put the nutcrackers between his legs in order to gain leverage...

LightShinesInTheDarkness · 30/12/2008 17:08

I left that little plastic bag of giblets in my turkey, while I roasted it for hours!

BoffinMum · 30/12/2008 17:12

We had a Christmas a few years ago with a full house of us, plus two married but childless friends and two overseas students we had taken pity on.

At 10am on Christmas Day I was the first to exhibit symptoms of winter vomiting virus. DH cooked Christmas lunch and everyone ate it. The rest of the guests then proceeded to go down with the virus over the next day or two. Guests could not travel for a week. By this time I was better and nursing them all.

What made it particularly grim but funny was the way the married couple behaved - they are both doctors but just sat on the sofa not knowing what to take to feel better!! And they were amazed that when you are parents you have to carry on looking after the DCs even when ill - this had never occurred to them!!

I like the willy story better though (poor little chap!)

FrostytheSurfmum · 30/12/2008 17:19

Last year I bought the M&S advert thinking it would make doing Christmas dinner easy.

I put the turkey crown in the combination microwave to cook it on the oven setting. A hour and a half later I discovered that instead of cooking it for 90 minutes I'd only cooked it for 90 seconds.

I then discovered that the roast parsnips, unlike the potatoes which were in a foil tray, were in a plastic tray and you were supposed to take them out and put them in a baking tray. Except I hadn't read the instructions and had slung them in the main oven and the plastic tray had melted and the inside of the oven was a smoky mess.

Cue lots of tears and "I'm the worst mum in the world" type of thing from me.

We went out this year .

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 30/12/2008 17:20

Not really a disaster but....

This year we got a boned and rolled turkey as we were having beef on St Stephens day.

We were also having a boiled and baked ham.

So on Christmas eve morining bearing in mind, I had pnuemonia and had been up since 4.00 coughing it is suffice to say that the balance of my mind was disturbed.

So up I get, make two dozen mince pies, a dozen sausage rolls, and then I decide to boil the ham.

Thankfully, I decided to steep it first. DH gets up much much later and wants to weigh the turkey. He then starts hunting high and low for the turkey. Nowhere to be found.....

He then peers into the steeping pot and says in a very slowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww step back from the nutter voice........we appear to be steeping the turkey joint.

I will never live it down, it went around the family like wildfire.

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 30/12/2008 17:34

Was that the kiss of death ??

BrieVinDeAlkaSeltzer · 30/12/2008 18:56

Apparently so........

angelene · 30/12/2008 19:17

Three years ago, completely shot to pieces by discovering that having a 2 month old child is not a bed of fucking roses, nosiree, drowning in horrible PND and totally isolated, we decided to have a really nice chicken for Christmas dinner. Bought it from Waitrose from the section which said free range organic, still OK until Boxing Day, but got a regular free range one. Christmas morning, go to the 'other' fridge in the cellar to get the chicken covered in bacon and in the oven, and discover that it's two days out of date...

We had sausages and mash. It was the worst Christmas ever, I was so unhappy and felt totally incompetent as a mother, and then I couldn't even make a nice dinner for the family.

However, this Christmas was truly wonderful, the best ever. It's very comforting to feel that I've come full circle

sherby · 30/12/2008 19:27

My MIL turned up an hr and 40 mins late for dinner and we all had to wait for her whilst the food went cold

ha fecking ha

mumski · 30/12/2008 19:47

There is a God. my Mother who is 80 and thinks this gives her the right to be rude and obnoxius to every one even on Christmas day - e.g
1)telling the new 'love of my life' that he needed to take me in hand because I was getting so fat .
2)Saying my lovely 13 year DD old was too spotty and why didn't she wash her face
3) and telling my 12 year old DD she was taking after me and putting on too much weight.
She then turned on our v cute baby house bunny and said it was horrid.
The next morning there was a shrek from her room. The rabbit has peed all over her as she lay in bed and soaked her (unfortunately the quilt and mattress to - but it was worth it). And who said then were dumb animals!!! .
Just wondering how I can save up enough to go abroad for christmas next year.x

skramblenotdieting · 30/12/2008 22:25

Aw what a clever little bunny

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