how to be positive - I am going on Christmas bootcamp!!!.

[MuchLessTiredNow]

we are goign to the in laws this year - I have studiously avoided it for the last 6 years for the folloing reasons:

they hate all festive food and there is never anything not low fat or low sugar in their house - so usually christmas dinner is turkey with no stuffing, boiled potatoes and veg done to death in the pressure cooker, without gravy, and yoghurt for pudding. They are so anti fat that I had to tell them it was bad for my children to be given skimmed milk at 10 months old..... and don't get them started on butter... If you have more than one chocolate from a box every 2 days they comment on it incessantly

they are tea-total and will not countenance any alcohol in the house whatsoever

They get everyone up early to trudge around muddly fields for miles with their dog, whom they speak to much more affectionately than the grandchildren

I was looking forward to this week like a hole in the head, until Dh bribed me with a promise of a slap up night out when we get back, and I have worked out with all of the exercise and deprivation food I will finally fit into my new dress!!!!

My glass is half full! Shall I market this as a health farm??!!!

lol!!! what you do is take a load of stuff with you!
pretend you are being helpful!
say 'i have made the sausage meat stuffing to save you a job' and 'oh i'll bring the christmas puddddddd-it can be part of our contribution'

youghurt for pud on christmas day is cheeseparing-it really is.

Sounds bloody miserable. You've got two options.

a) You stash a hamper in the loo and pretend that you and DH have violent diar trots. Thus enabling you to make constant trips to the hamper and stuff your faces.

b) Brazen it out, Bring tupperware boxes of all the stuff they won't be having, i.e. one with stuffing, one with little sausies, one with roasties etc and when everyone sits down to their lunch, you, DH and the sprogs can add your extras, to the fury, nay, envy of everyone else at the table.

Of course, there's always c) which is tell them you won't set foot over the threshold unless they've got some serious scoffing planned!

hee hee - no, Janitor, cheese is not allowed over the threshold.... (I jest not). when they came to stay with us a year ago (bringing their own teabags....) they very proudly told my neighbour they hadn't eaten oven chips for 10 years! ( I wish I could write a book, but no-one would believe me)

Snowballs - I will embrace the hamper idea..... and will brief DCs to come and ask to talk to me by themselves so we can go and eat selection boxes in the bedroom (well, they can - I am actually quite curious to see how much weight I can lose!)

A week???????

I can't contemplate a week with people I like,let alone those I don't. You are a saint. Or mental.

God, sounds grim.

I would take a hip flask too

moondog - mental - definitely - but dh keeps pointing out that we never go and see them (and I wonder why????!!!)

I think I may need more than one hip flask though.......

No booze at Christmas and you go with it??
I'm speechless.

I'm stacking as we speak!!!!! {cheers} - I don't want to, but what can I say, I love DH, I've only spent 3 weeks with his parents in 15 years, and maybe I will lose 17 stone!!!!!!!!! (reality was never one of my strong points...)

You are extremely noble.I salute you.
At least as you say you will feel healthy and virtuous while everynoe else experiencing self loathing after festive blow-out.

He is lucky to have you.Most women wouldn't do it.

you are my new BF - and can you tell him what you said???

PS, watch out for my venting posts on 27th Dec -there will be MANY!!!!!!

Go on,what?

Oooh, you must post on how it went.Would love to know.Promise yuo will!

that he is lucky to have me!!

Oh yes,, I will post!!! (and then hopefully get it ghost written into a best selling chick lit book)

Thanks for amking me giggle, Md!

Mr MLTN

You have married a woman who is a living saint.
Cherish her.

Signed

Moondog

thank you Moondog - I have printed it and stuck it on the loo door!

He's just had this thread read to him and promised me sex too

sorry tmi

but thank you for improving my evening

10 000 fold!

Blimey!
What else is gonig to come your way??

hello lovely! MIL has just rung to say she has bought a crown of turkey, because she was worried about there not being enough meat on a normal one - how the hell do you cook a crown without it turning out as dry as sawdust???!!! (I love dark meat too )

Gravy. Take gravy!

I think your present to them should be lots of indulgent things - huge tin of quality street, case of wine, cheese, plus all those trimmings mentioned above.

Or better yet, arrange for a tesco delivery to be sent to them just before you arrive

what area are you going to? Any fellow mnetters you can escape to for feasts?

oooh - I like your thinking - we are going to deepest darkest pointy land in Cornwall - not sure any MN will venture that far south....

Oh, we'll be further along coast, in hampshire. No use to you then, sorry.