soon to be ex-sil and christmas presents

[bettybeetroot]

my db has recently left his lovely wife (about 1 month ago). it is very sad as she is so nice and by db says he just doesn't love her anymore (they have only been married 2 years ) anyway, i already had a present for her and was planning on posting it to her with a card. my mother on the other hand wasn't sure if she should send her something - i told her she should so now she probably will. but i just wanted to check this is the right thing to do isn't it? at what point would you not buy an ex family member a present? we didn't have any contact other than seeing her when we saw my db iykwim - we wouldn't call each other up as friends like i do with one of my sil who is like a friend aswell.

I think I would carry on as usual this year - why add to her misery by rejecting her? you like her, you have a 'relationship' with her in her own right, she must be suffering.

maybe next year just a card, see how the year goes.

I think it would be lovely to send her something as the separattion is still very recent and she may still feel emotionally part of your family.

MY db left DSIL on boxing day last year, have bought her a present as she is still lovely, a friend and the mother of my nephews.

Sorry re read and noticed and noticed not a friend as such, but I would the split up is recent and I think total rejection from allhis family is so sad. Do it this year and see what sort of contact you have with her next year.

thanks for those replies. tbh i wouldn't have thought twice about sending her something until my mum said she didn't know what to do herself. i am very dissapointed in my mum. mind you we are very different and hence have a love/hate relationshionship but that is a seperate issue! i just want sil to know we are thinking about her.

i might add 'luckily' they have no dc's

Definitely give the present to her. She is family, really - and she must be feeling awful. If all the rest of you suddenly withdraw from her she'll feel even more abandoned.