Not sure how to 'do' Xmas for the 3 of us...

[Acinonyx]

Dh and I have no family - it's just the two of us and dd, who is 3.5. It's been exciting having a dc at Xmas - but it IS difficult to make the day er, lively, different and festive with just the three of us. I grew up as an only child and Xmas's were rather quiet - a lot of telly.

What do other people do in this situation? How do mark the day and make it different without it becoming just like any other weekend after a couple of hours? Dd is old enough to be more aware this year so I'd like to 'start' as we mean to go on. I do feel very envious of people who have proper family Xmas's - although just about everyone I know seems to complain about just that!

Boardgames if wet, Christmas walks if dry? You CAN get some boardgames suitable for a 3.5yo.

make arrangments to visit friends in the afternoon after dinner?

we have been doing this for years

on xmas eve, when dd was very small, she would be put to bed at the usual time, dh and i always had chinese takeaway, now, after many years dd is 17, we still start xmas the same way, we chose a film together, have chinese, a nice drop of baileys etc.

xmas morning, dd and dh open their stockings on our bed (this does get later as dc get older)spend about an hour on phone to relys.

bucks fizz, smoked salmon and scrambled egg for breakfast - i get lunch on, xmas music played while we open tree presents - drinks all round, may be neighbours as well, 'lunch cum dinner' about 3.30.

clear up, bit of a walk (gets rid of some of the booze!)
game of cards/monopoly type of thing, look at all our presents

watch a bit of tv, more baileys

BED

fwiw - you are having a 'normal' family xmas, ie yours

btw - we do include dd in xmas eve chinese now!! and probs her bf this year

we used to do this when ds1 was little.. I actually really enjoyed it.. games and telly and spread the pressies out through the day!

That sounds OK. I don't know what it is I'm after really - I guess I'd like to have more kids around for dd in particular. Unfortunately all our friends are otherwise occupied.

Xmas always seemed such an anticlimax and somewhat dull when I was a child - I'd like it to be better for dd. I enjoyed it more on the very rare occaisions that we saw my cousins.

We already have a ton of board games.

That breakfast sounds nice!

There must be another family somewhere in the same situation... how do you get to know them?

We spend Xmas with family, but I think the key thing is to stretch out the present opening process. In our family, it takes all day!

Xmas Eve, Children get given a present before bed, put out the carrot, mince pie, beer, reindeer dust and Santa's key, then bed. We also have a tradition of having macaroni cheese for tea (from hubby's childhood) and watch a Christmas movie together.

Xmas morning. Father Christmas presents in our bed.

Then a special beakfast - pancakes, or something that they are not usually allowed to eat.

Then presents from mum and dad under the tree. We all take turns opening the presents, so this stretches it out to about 3/4 hour just between the four of us. Usually DD wants to play with at least 1 gift as she opens it.

Make sure you buy at least one game that you can all play together.

After lunch, do presents from other people.

Then board games and perhaps a light tea. You could always do a special movie together??

HTH

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I have been wondering about something along those lines christiana. Perhaps we could adopt a granny....

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I know what you mean about wishing for a larger family event. I always have wanted the European ideal of 5 generations around a huge table! Unfortunately in this country even if we have extended families they are spread all about the country and have their own agendas for Christmas. When I was a little girl, my grandparents and parents made the whole festive season lively with much baking and crafts etc.

Even though there are only myself, DH and DS, I still try and keep as many of these traditions as possible.

Perhaps you should consider the whole season instead of just the main days. Try and think of little Christmassy things to do each day in the lead up to Christmas Day. Maybe make a cake with DD, go to a panto, make an advent calender etc. When your DD looks back then, she will remember the whole thing and not just what may be a relatively quiet Christmas Day. My DS is well revved up already!!

(For the record we enjoy lighting the coal fire and shutting the world out for the day on Christmas Day. What us Welsh call a 'cwtshy' day)

Yes I think I'm in love with this fantasy of the Waltons Xmas.

We are going to a panto. I just want dd to look back with better memories of Xmas than I had. Xmas was always a time for fights and tension in our house (but then when wasn't).

I think you're right about doing little things throughout advent.

We are not church goers but I wouldn't mind going to a carol service. Dh might balk at that though.

Wow, some else had a Christmas Eve Chinese a long standing family tradition here, I'm 28 and we always had Chinese on Christmas Eve and still do. I thought it was just my strange family!

We did Christmas just the three of us last year, DD was 18 months and she is/will be an only too. I think the main thing that made it for me was carrying on traditions that DH and I had from being children and also starting a few of our own too, that is what made it really our Christmas. I also agree with stretching Christmas out abit, we didn't spend Christmas day with anyone else, but we did have a Christmas tea party for DD and a couple of her little friends, we took them all to see Father Christmas together, they all had little presents to each other to open together. This year (DD now 2.5) we have also been making lots of decorations (may I recommend the Usborne book of 50 things to make for Christmas), baking together, making Christmas cards, lots of glitter on everything, sorting out old toys for charity shop.

You have the power to make your DD's christmas as magical and special as you can and because you clearly want to make that effort, your DD will have wonderful memories of Christmas time, 100 members of family around her or 3.

Agree with the traditions - I think it is those that make Xmas special. We have loads in our family, and Xmas has always been a magical time for us. Some of these traditions may be a bit old for your DD at the mo, but for future years.

When the tree goes up, at least one present per person goes under it. Each day, the person gets to rattle, sniff, shake, listen to and smell the present to guess what it is. Each day, they get one guess as to what that present might be. If they guess correctly, they get to open the present there and then. If they guess wrong, it stays wrapped under the tree for the next day. Obviously, presents are disguised in all manner of forms - shirts inside lemonade bottles and so on... In 30 odd years of guessing, I have never got a present right yet - but I remember the excitement to trying to guess each day, and the fun of thinking up new and barmier disguises each year!

Another tradition we have from when I was younger, was that one present would be wrapped up, and wrapped up loads and in between the layers would be clues to help you guess the present. You were not allowed to get the present until you had guessed what it was - sometimes we would spend all day pondering my dad's bizarre clues. Sometimes there was the real present and a dummy present, and we had to guess which present we wanted - the other present would be saved until the evening, so you hoped you got the 'proper' present instead of the dummy present. That was always fun (And still is, we still do that one!)

Other traditions we had were -

*Obviously making the paper chains and putting up the decs - you can make that into a real family event with Christmassy music, chocolates, or perhaps a film, whatever.

• We always made a christmas decoration to go onto the tree each year.

• We also took the christmas cards and made a calendar out of some of them - then gave them to people.

*The big wrapping session before Christmas. I remember from quite young we'd put the Christmas music on, get the Christmas treats out and we would all sit round wrapping up the presents and I would help from quite a young age. I always loved doing this, because it was the weekend before Christmas, and it always meant that Christmas was close!

• The panto is always a good tradition of course..

Hope some of these help. I think often its the way you do things - like wrapping up the presents is not normally a big thing, but because it has become a bit of a tradition, it is for my eldest DD who loves to help and join in with the mince pies and so on...

Oh and we also had a no tv rule on Christmas day, and no playing alone in your bedroom. On the days that we didn't see family till tea time, I loved Christmas because that was the day of the year that I had mum and dad all day, just to play with us. That was special. No distractions of the housework, or cleaning, just playing games.

In the afternoon / evening, we'd play Newmarket every year - perhaps you could choose a game that you guys can all play together!

HTH

Sorry, I'm on a roll now. But another thing we do, is that during the week between Christmas and New year, we see good friends one evening for a special Christmas Tea. Often my oldest friend from School comes over with her family, my husband's friends comes over and we host a little tea. Every day that a tea is hosted there are little 'tree presents' - nothing major all below £5, but a child doesn't know the value of things and that was also exciting. So if you have friends that you can invite over - you can organise games for the children (we used to play pass the parcel a lot!) and that was always magical too. As a child, it was always family events, but now neither my husband or I have got siblings with families to invite other, we invite friends with their kids and that goes down well.

We had our one and only take away of the year on xmas eve and it was always a chinese! My mum would lay newspaper down by the fire and we would get into our new xmas pyjamas and dressing gowns ans slippers and then wait for dad to get back from the chinese, i always had sweet ans sour spare ribs and chips! (hence the paper on the floor!)

We stiull do it now just dp and i and i still have the same thing! TYhe kids will join in when they are older.

We are going to my dads house on xmas eve lunchtime as father christmas will be attending (dads got a suit) dad's girlfriend is providing nibbles and drinks, in the evening we will open the xmas pj's and watch the Muppets Xmas Carol with come hommade mince pies and hot chocolate. Then we will put out the santa key, mince pies ad carrotts.

Then ds2 will go to bed and ds1 will stay up for an hour for all his meds whilst tracking santa on the online santa radar, then bed for him.

Then dp and i will have our chinese and then i will do all the dinner prep for the next day and hang stocking ect.

xmas day we will get up and oipen pressies as and when the kids want to, then let them play while i make the dinner, after dinner we will go for a country walk before stopping in on my mum and sister.

Then its home for maybe another film and a buffet dinner then bed.

Pure Bliss.

Further to the suggestion about church going most churches will have a suitable service for children on Christmas Eve - either a crib service, or Christingle. At our church the service is at 6 but it may be worth looking in the local paper for a children's service.

DH might come round to the idea of Church if you dress DD as an angel, or star or Mary, and put him in charge of photography. That will melt his heart!!

What about fireworks in the evening?

Haven't read all posts but just wanted to reassure, as an only child with no other family on Christmas Day (lots of step-grandparents, just too difficult practically and emotionally to do) I absolutely adored Christmas.

I'd start by making loads of decorations and decorating my room,paper strips, LOTS of glitter etc, then quite close to Christmas go and get tree with my dad and we, and as I got older, I would decorate it - I just love the tree to be honest. I used to do a stocking for my parents as well cos I just loved giving them presents - MAD!

Then Christmas Day stocking in bed with parents, get up, do presents, sausage rolls for breakfast go and do quite a long walk with sausage rolls and mince pies, home, read books, do puzzles etc while dad cooked steak and chips. Read, games, puzzles etc and bed time.

Sounds totally simple but I absolutely loved it. And found the first Christmas with just my partner at the grand old age of 27, quite sad - left on my own while he did the turkey.

Thanks all. Lots of good ideas - some for when she's a bit bigger.